Kevin v. Flowers

Kevin was a 13 pound, calico ball of murder who reigned over 436 Chester Lane. His magnificence was evident by the offerings of food and toys laid before him by his human, Alice. Every day she would refill his food bowl and force the toys to dance for Kevin’s amusement.

It was a good life.

Kevin spent most of his time on the top of his tower, watching over the front garden, bathed in sunlight. His tail flicked softly with content as he watched cars slide by, watching for Alice. With the sun near the top of the houses, she should be home soon. Slowly his eyes closed, though his ears kept moving towards any familiar sounds.

Finally, there it was. The soft purr of her silver car scattering loose gravel as it pulled into the driveway. Kevin began to purr and stretch, trying to keep his eyes on Alice even as he twisted and elongated his body.

Her keys turned, and the door opened. In seconds Kevin was at her feet, purring and rubbing his face against her legs. He had been alone all day and was ready for some one-on-one attention, play, and food. Alice smiled and spoke softly to him, closing the door and headed to the kitchen table to unload her hands like normal.

Kevin hopped onto the kitchen table, ready for some much-needed chin scratches, but something was different. Her hands were not free to pet his royal head; they held a bundle of yellow flowers. Why had she not put these on the table next to her keys and purse?

A loud protest began as Kevin pawed at the air and meowed furiously. What was going on? She searched the cabinets until she found a tall glass, filled it with water, and delicately placed the flowers in it. But that was not all. Alice spent several minutes gently arranging them, poking them into place on the kitchen window sill.

What was this? Kevin meowed loudly again, which finally broke out Alice out of her flower obsession. She sat at the table with him for several minutes until Kevin was satisfied with the level of attention he had received.

The rest of the evening went on as normal. Alice ate her dinner on the couch while Kevin laid beside her. They watched TV together, played with toys, Kevin ate his dinner, then it was time for bed. Again Alice paused at the flowers in the window, but she didn't stay for long, and soon the two were snuggled in bed.

Morning came, and it seemed to be one of those days where Alice didn't have to go to work. The two spent a lazy morning stretching in bed, Alice on her phone, pausing now and again to give Kevin some chin scratches. These were Kevin's favorite days; he enjoyed the extra attention he received on these days.

Eventually, both of their stomachs began to grumble, and they migrated to the kitchen, where they silently ate their meals, enjoying the early bird songs coming in through the window Alice had opened.

After breakfast, Alice put her outside pants on; Kevin knew that these pants were different because they had many pockets and always smelled of dirt. He took his place atop his tower to watch her toil away in the garden. Snipping some plants, digging up others. It was strange, but he enjoyed watching her.

Finally, Alice came back inside, though Kevin did not immediately greet her as he didn't want to smell like gross dirt. Instead, he waited for her to get out of the shower, get dressed, and come back into the living room.

Alice was strange when Kevin went to greet her for chin scratches: She seemed to be dressed for work. But they stayed in bed all morning; that always meant it was a no-work-day. Perhaps she needed to get more food; sometimes she did that on a no-work-day.

They sat on the couch for a little while, Kevin trying to squeeze out every bit of attention he could before Alice went to get more food. Suddenly, Kevin heard the sound of another car pulling into the driveway. Normally the big cars that delivered boxes stayed on the road.

Alice got up quickly, and Kevin could sense her excitement. She hurried to the front door and invited a strange, tall man inside. Immediately, Kevin did not like him. Why was he here?

Silently Kevin slipped under the couch but made sure he was close enough to the edge to keep an eye on this person. The man pulled some more of those round, yellow flowers out from behind his back. Alice's excitement increased as she took them to the kitchen to add to the other flowers.

Soon the two left, and Kevin was home alone. He slinked out from under the couch and headed straight to the flowers in the kitchen window sill. He hopped up onto the sill to examine them more closely.

There didn't seem to be anything special about them. They didn't seem too different from the ones that Alice had outside. He reached his head forward to give them a good sniff, pulled back, and sneezed twice.

Kevin studied the flowers. On one side, they seemed to make Alice happy. On the other side, they took attention away from Kevin, and the man that Kevin did not like gave her some of them, maybe all of them. Plus, they smelled weird and made him sneeze.

It didn't take long for the jury of Kevin to come back with a sentence that Kevin the judge carried out immediately: The flowers had to go. With one quick swipe of the paw, he knocked the glass onto the floor, where water and flowers spilled everywhere.

Happy with himself, Kevin returned to his tower perch. Those round, yellow flowers would not be welcomed in Kevin's house. If the strange man brought any more into the house, Kevin would have to apply the same sentence to them. Kevin's new mission was to make sure Alice knew that those attention-stealing, weird-smelling, sneeze-inducing flowers were not welcome in the house.