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In the Mind

Who was she

By Antoinette L BreyPublished 2 years ago Updated 2 years ago 15 min read
2
In the Mind
Photo by Valeria andersson on Unsplash

The cabin in the woods had been abandoned for years, but one night a candle burned in the window. Inside a young lady sat in terror. Was it all in her mind she wondered? She had come here to hide. Life in the city had proven to be too public.

When she had moved to Boston she thought she would go unnoticed. She would be one in a couple of million people. For some reason, people seemed to know her. Running down to Dunkin Donuts, strangers seemed friendly enough to congratulate her. For what she wondered? She just smiled, joked with them, and wondered if there was something in this world she was missing.

After the last conversation with her neighbor, Anna had decided she had had enough. One day he had wanted to marry her. The next day he never wanted to get married. Was everything he said a joke or was it just one more inconsistency in her life? Every day he seemed to be another person. A lot of people in her life seemed like that. Their personalities were totally different from day to day. Anna thought maybe she was just overthinking, maybe she needed a therapist but she decided to go on a vacation.

Now alone in the cabin, she hoped to see no people. She hoped to watch tv, write, and go on walks. She had brought her camera. She wanted to relax in her solitude. There was an inner terror that the inconsistencies would follow her here, but if there were no people there would be no inconsistencies.

She had brought Alexa. Anna sat in the cabin listing to Mickey Guyton. " The Girl in the mirror who knew no fear" The song always reminded her of herself. She knew it was her. She hoped that after six days with only herself to influence her mind, her confidence would return.

Sleep came. No more dreams of her ex-boyfriend, no more fantasies of running away to Mexico with him. No more thoughts of the past. Her dreams floated over the woods of New Hampshire. She pictured birds singing. She imagined swimming in a lake. She felt peace. She knew the animals would be normal. They would not blindly walk through life. Although they were creatures they would not be led around like sheep.

The next morning she smiled remembering where she was. She slipped on a red sundress and went and sat on the front porch. She could hear the birds around her. She saw two mating squirrels running around the trunk of a nearby tree. She thought about her camera but decided to respect the squirrel's privacy. The whole scene surrounding her needed privacy. She dwelt on the concept. The world seemed to disrespect the notion of privacy. Here in the cabin. she soaked it in.

Was privacy a right? Or did people she had never met have the right to know about her life? Did she have the right to decide about the course her life took? Shouldn't her past be hers? Should others not have the right to air her dirty laundry. Privacy would be an impossible right to enforce. Slander- false accusations could be enforced, but if the statement was true, the jury was useless. If it was a true fact it was legal to share. Nothing protected your privacy. She laughed, nothing but hiding away in a cabin. Where there were no other people.

She felt peace, and the terror faded, as she soaked in her isolation. But she had not yet turned on the radio or tv. Finally the second day she felt strong enough to expose herself to the madness of the real world. She turned on CNBC. The stock market, and a quick speech by President Biden. The economy according to everybody but her, the President, and the federal reserve, was heading for a recession. The broadcasters were sharing their negative perceptions and then feigning surprise when the stock market fell. Usually, she would feel overwhelmed, but today she laughed at the absurdity of it all. The most educated man in the country regarding economics, opinions were equal to the opinions of a broadcaster, with his two courses in economics.

She changed the channel. CNN made her feel numb as usual, but she was surrounded by nature there was no reason to listen to or watch either station. She grabbed her camera and decided to invade the privacy of the world around her.

She sang as she made her way through the woods. A shortcut to the road. The animals seemed not even to notice her. She had seen a snack bar when she had arrived. It had seemed like an odd location, but now she was glad it was there. Hopefully a community gathering place.

There were two men sitting at the bar when she entered. She was surprised it was a real bar. Alcohol and all. The bartender guessed where she was staying. She told him she was visiting from Boston. He smiled, most of the renters around there were. "We have a little food", he offered, "We actually have a few specials. Local cooks and all. It is precooked and I heat it up in the microwave," She smiled. "What are my choices?" " A Meatloaf Meal, a Shortribs Bowl, or Fried Clams with Corn and a baked potato." "Sounds pretty good, I'll have an order of the Fried Clams and a Diet Coke" The man sitting next to her interjected, "Matt I'll have one of those too." "Sure thing, you two," Matt replied. The man turned toward her, "That there is Matt, I'm Bill and the man lost in his book, is Dan." She smiled, "Hi my name is Anna" She looked over at the two men. That would be a life, living in the woods and reading and contemplating all day. Dan came over and joined them. "Matt I'll have a bowl of the short ribs. Well, Anna what do you do?" " Well I am here to relax, and escape the city. Who I am as a person, I'm not quite sure." Dan laughed, "Nobodys sure who they are as a person. They think they know themselves, and then they do something that surprises even them".

The food and the conversation were good. The four of them talked about real things. Not one mention of politics or tv shows. She talked about the mating squirrels and other subjects in her photos.

She decided to go with Dan to see one of his favorite photo spots. She felt no anxiety, and had no strange theories about the outcome, as she climbed into his jeep. He wanted to get to know her not as a cover of a book but as the whole book.

The outing filled her camera and her heart. This man, she prayed had some free time these next few days because she did not want him to leave, As they left the spot, she thought of the Barbara Streisand song "Love in the Afternoon" but she knew she would not only hold on to the memory but she would also know his name. She laughed at this. All she knew about his name was Dan.

She was relaxed, and happy until they got to her driveway, and then she got nervous. What if in his mind he was just helping a tourist. What if she had made too much of this. She was silent as he stopped the jeep. "I have some free time tomorrow. Maybe I could show you some more places. I'll bring my camera. Is two pm alright?" Her heart was racing, but she managed to mouth a calm "yes"

She listened to Barbara Streisand, and Faith Hill that night as she cleaned the cabin. Of course, she was going to invite him in. "Let's make love all night long." her heart was singing.

They had stopped for Donuts on the way home the other day. It was a small local shop. The donuts had been made with all local ingredients. Anna had expected them to be expensive but in fact, they cost less than they would have at Dunkin Donuts. This morning she had two donuts with a coffee.

At two, she had been waiting at the foot of her driveway. To her surprise, a jeep did not come up her driveway. It was Matt, not Dan. Matt seemed a little confused. "Dan is coming, but his car got stolen last night after he left here. It is the subject of a police investigation." Anna led Matt into her cabin. She was stunned. He turned on the tv so she could hear what was going on.

There had been a murder last night. Dan's car had been seen in the area. The victim was a local. Matt said she had gone to school with his daughter Susan. Matt explained that they were examining Dan's car. Anna had not said a word, she was numb, in shock. There was no way he was guilty, She finally pulled herself together enough to ask. "How was Dan associated with her?" "He had tutored her in grammar when she was in high school, and proofread her papers in college. They were friends, not lovers, he had no reason to kill her."

Anna said goodbye to Matt. He had to go work his bar. The whole town would be there. He offered to take Anne to the bar. She declined, she did not want to socialize. She felt sick.

She did not want to watch the tv. This is not how she envisioned learning about Dan's life. They were exploring every detail of it. Anna started to shake, she didn't want her life on tv, she had come here to hide, She started to cry. There was no one to call on the phone, no one to hold her. There was no one who knew her and what made her tick. She was not angry, her feelings felt bare.

The next morning she packed her suitcase, took a shower, ate more donuts, and got ready to leave. It was two days early, but she couldn't just sit here and cry. How could she light-heartedly run around New Hampshire taking pictures? The car was all packed up, and she turned on the tv to check, just one more time.

Anna's heart jumped. They had let him go. She wanted to call him. She wanted to go and pick him up. She didn't even care who was guilty as long as it wasn't him.

She prayed she had this right. She went out to the driveway to wait. She waited in her driveway for what seemed like hours,

Her stomach started to growl. She went and ate more donuts. She was beginning to lose faith. Then all of a sudden he was at her back door. He looked unsure of himself. Anna opened the door and gave him a hug. They both began to cry. Neither really knew what to say. She spoke first "I'm glad I am the person you are turning to." He shifted nervously from foot to foot. "You heard what happened" he shyly asked. "Your car got stolen, and someone used it to commit a crime." Dan's face looked blank.

It's more complicated than that. I knew her. I helped her with her schoolwork. She had told me about her dreams, and her life plans. I think I knew everything about her except who she was dating and who she was in love with. I have no idea who would kill her and blame it on me. Why would they use my car?

Anna felt lost, she did not know the people in this town. How could she be supportive? She went and got her purse. They were going to the only place she did know. They were going to Matt's bar. She hoped the bar and made a lot of food because after only eating donuts and coffee she was starving.

The place was jammed when they entered. She noticed people looking at her oddly. She felt like she did not belong there but Dan was clinging to her hand. He was scared, she was scared. She wanted to leave him there with his friends, but his grip got tighter.

On the TV they were interviewing the victim's school friends. She had been planning that night to tell someone that she was in love with him. But she had kept the man's name a secret. She must have been uncertain that he felt the same way. Ann said what she was thinking "She must not have been dating this man. He must not have known she loved him until that night. Why kill her all he had to do was tell her that he didn't feel the same way. I realize that is hard to do, but it is easier than killing someone."

The whole bar was staring at her. It was as if they thought she was the reason. She was trying to give emotional support but she really felt like she was the one who needed it. She could not see the expression she had on her face, but Matt came to the end of the bar and offered her something to eat,

You look like you are having a rough time. I have some meatloaf. Maybe if you eat something, the night will go better. If not I can give Dan a ride home. I know this is not the way you thought things were going to go. You look like your fun vacation has turned into hell.

Anna ate her meatloaf supper. Dan was over in the corner reading his book. She wondered what he was thinking, or was he thinking? Was he reading to calm his mind? After she finished eating she went over to say goodbye to Dan. When she got closer she could see that he was crying. She went and took the book and led him out of the bar. She knew the whole bar could see his tears, but he needed emotional support, not a book or a tv screen revealing his whole life. The people in the bar were not supplying the support he needed.

Boston was about an hour away. Anna thought that both of them needed a night outside of New Hampshire. She called the local police and told them where Dan was going to be. She gave them her phone number.

They did not go directly to her apartment. She stopped in Boston by one of the luxury hotels. Dan seemed bewildered. The doorman parked the car, and the couple went in to eat. She ordered a Mimosa and a huge hamburger with fries. No one seemed to recognize him. He ordered a Bloody Mary and a New England Clam Chowder.

After a few minutes, the two of them relaxed. She started teasing him about how now he was a tourist. It was her time to show him her favorite spots. After a few drinks, both of them forgot about his notoriety. He finally started smiling. He seemed like the man she had originally met.

In her heart, she knew that he was not going to be her perfect lover. He most likely would not be her lover at all. All she really wanted to do was help him get through this. Sooner or later he would have to face his friends without tears. He needed to be stronger.

Her neighbor was surprised to see her but smiled when she saw Dan. Dan fell onto the couch and slept immediately. Anna was actually glad to be back in this apartment which she had wanted so badly to escape. Sierra her cat, seemed surprised that Anne was back.

She changed into some conservative bed cloths and cleaned up for bed. It was amazing how fast life had changed.

She was awoken the next morning by Dan. He said he had to get back. He had to resolve this problem. He couldn't just run away from his life.

Anna gave him a hug. She got him a clean towel and a new bar of soap, and a toothbrush. She also gave him one of her teeshirts, She offered to drive him back to New Hampshire. She figured it would only take her two hours to get there and back. He said he would rent a car "Do you feel strong enough?" she asked "Do you have the support that you need there? You were crying and nobody went to help you"

Dan looked embarrassed, but Anna knew she would be in the same situation if it had happened to her here.

She knew he would have no idea where he was and most likely get lost in Boston. Even with the GPS. The two of them walked out to her car.

Anna ended out driving him to the New Hampshire border, where he rented a car. He could return it to his hometown.

When she got home she curled up in front of the tv watching the New Hampshire news. Dan had gone directly to the police station. It turned out he had known more than he had told Anna. The man that the victim had been secretly in love with, was Dan. She had told him that night. He had had no idea she felt that way. He had told her that he was too old for her. He was not the person who was meant for her. As Dan was leaving he saw one of her male friends walk up to her door. The man had been spruced up as if he was going on a date. Dan had been confused but he had just wanted to get out of there. If she was in love with him why had she arranged a date with this other guy?

In a later news broadcast, Anna learned that the police had composed a drawing of the man and that he had been arrested. The young man, Jeff, had stolen Dan's car to divert suspicion. He had thought he was the one she loved. He was going to propose and had already bought the engagement ring. She had told Jeff that she had declared her love to Dan and he had turned her down. She did not love Jeff and did not want to marry him. The broadcast did not describe the details of the murder, but Anna had heard enough.

Anna turned off the tv. What a mess. In our society love has become a hurtful game. If you love somebody, why waste your time chasing after them or having them chase after you. That is precious time that you could be spending together. Why all the games, why not be honest and enjoy the experience. Anna felt numb.

She looked over the photos from her trip. The pictures reflected the joy she had been feeling. Even without the physical intimacy, it had felt like "Love in the afternoon"

'

Horror
2

About the Creator

Antoinette L Brey

I am an elder in a time of freedom. I am now retired. All i want to do is have fun. Without a daily routine, my imagination is one of my only salvations. I am not planning on writing a book, it is just for my own pleasure

Reader insights

Nice work

Very well written. Keep up the good work!

Top insights

  1. Compelling and original writing

    Creative use of language & vocab

  2. Excellent storytelling

    Original narrative & well developed characters

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Comments (1)

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  • Mike Singleton - Mikeydred2 years ago

    Absolutely excellent challenge story, and some good points made in the last two paragraphs

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