Growth and Setbacks

Recently, some things happened around me, let me on the growth of some ideas burst into concentration, I think it should be recorded, so write a short essay, while writing and introspection.

Growing up is a long road.

There is so much talk about growth, because people are always moving forward. In theory, people should mature more and more. Read ten thousand books, travel ten thousand miles, read countless people, always choose one of the road to go forward, through these roads, is the cornerstone of growth.

The ideal is always good. Take myself for example, I always think there is truth in reading and truth in working. I can learn truth from communicating with others. Like most of us, when we look back at our former selves, we find ourselves laughing, annoying, or embarrassed. Nothing else, just feel before said the truth, now think carefully, a little shallow. It's like a kid coming up to you and saying solemnly and proudly, "Tell you a thing, you know, the earth is round, it's never too old to learn ~ ~ (final exclamation is important)" example may not be accurate, is actually his understanding to some "life experience", think "too deep, too his mama makes sense, I really is a man of thought deep", and then jump to the fart share with people - "discuss without doing", little imagine, Others have already "got up and gone."

Embarrassingly, this process repeats itself as you grow up. Speaking the truth is still quite hit me, from "deep thinking", into "shallow and do not know", in a long time I do not dare to identify with their own truth, afraid of it two months later, look back, laugh at themselves.

Think carefully, in the long growth road, I did learn a lot of truth, every time the deep is the real inner experience at that time, the truth is not wrong, just want to shallow.

Now growth in my opinion is a long road, the same truth in my life on both sides of the road, with different flowers, bearing different fruits. When I was a child kind to me is a dollar to the roadside grandpa, grew up kind to me is a smile on the roadside performer; When the bad man is murder and arson, after growing up the bad man is facing the abyss to choose destruction...

Now I am not as complacent as before, certainly do not belittle myself. When I really need to reason with people, I will carefully add: I think, in my opinion... To represent personal understanding, after speaking naturally will reflect on whether the expression is accurate, whether some shallow, this should also be a kind of growth!

Setbacks are not just setbacks.

There are many topics related to growing up in "weirdo". Two of the most memorable are "Should we be thankful for the blows we get in life" and "Is it a bad thing that we all end up being people we hate?" In fact, neither of these two topics is directly related to growth. What sets me thinking is the recent events that happened to my long-time friend Q.

Mr. Q has recently suffered a series of setbacks in his life, or suffering would be a better word to describe the extent of it. At the age of thirty, his father died of illness; In less than half a year, because of his "loyalty" and "naivete", he carried off millions of debts. Heartache, want to have a good chat with Q gentleman. It is difficult to express face to face, so write down what you want to share.

As for the setbacks in growth, what the textbooks teach us is to give us the experience of growth, the courage to overcome difficulties, in line with the socialist core values. There is an impressive summary of this strange saying: I don't thank setbacks, I only thank myself to overcome setbacks. Many people fall down in the setback, did not stand up again, he will thank the setback? Straight to the heart, if you fall down in frustration, that also TM will appreciate it to give you the experience of growth and unyielding courage, should only leave a sentence "to the fuck".

Yes, we should see ourselves, not setbacks.

In everything, the "cause and effect" theory tells us how to think about the "effect" of a setback, but I want to think about the "cause" of a setback. Again: "We should see ourselves, not setbacks".

"Setback" is not a disaster that falls from the sky and cannot be avoided. Life's "setbacks" often have a pattern. As an interesting online response to "When I go out to a food stall with my girlfriend and get molested by the next table" : "Try to make money to take her to a western restaurant." The message is not infallible, but it is a message that we should look at ourselves and see if we are doing the right thing to save ourselves from getting into trouble.

About Q into debt setbacks, because of their "friendship" and "naive", by a friend of a series of traps, from Banks and bank colleagues borrowed millions of dollars in succession to rectify, finally lost friends, left a heap of completely unable to repay debts, suddenly enlighted, remorse, troubled family friends and colleagues together.

In retrospect, the setback itself is enough to wake people up. Unconditional trust in others, self-righteousness and subsequent luck in debt are the immediate causes of the predicament. That would have been enough to justify the whole thing, but I'm sorry, the truth hurts. I talked with our mutual friend Mr. C about this matter. I told him that the reason behind this matter was that Mr. Q had been taking emotional factors as the criterion for doing things for a long time, that he did not have enough sense of responsibility for himself and the people concerned, that he was greedy for the temporary comfort of his heart, and that he did not have enough profound review of his own code of conduct and values. Whether we like to admit it or not, it is the accumulation of past experiences, not the "mistakes" of the moment, that create setbacks.

As mentioned above, if we don't understand the real cause of our frustration, then we will face the next "flirting at the next table."

Is growing up a bad thing?

The second topic, "Is it a bad thing that we will eventually become the people we hate?", the strange flower said that several teachers had great achievements, and in a few words, "we will eventually become the people we hate" into "growth". Can growing up be a bad thing? Of course not. So, do we all really grow up eventually?

I don't know if we have this idea: I experienced setbacks, so I grow; I have experienced loss, so I have grown; I grew up, experienced the vicissitudes of the world, so I grew up. The experience is real, but the growth is not always what we want.

For setbacks we try to roll over and climb out of the hole, but we don't change ourselves to avoid the next mess; We deplore the past for loss, but we fail to understand the meaning of life and cherish what we have now; We become cynical about the world and drift with it, losing our way and losing ourselves. Not all experiences lead to growth. They can lead you away from happiness or even into the abyss.

When we think about ourselves, are we really growing as much as we want?

I think the best answers are inside you. As the ancient saying goes, "the day is three provinces on oneself", my understanding of growth is to be able to maintain doubts about themselves, often examine themselves; For external things, keep open-minded and good heart; For the gray in life, step past at the same time do not lose their own direction; I think at this point, "growing up" is "growing up" for us.

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