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Expiration dates: A Series

After a decade of silence, two friends are brought back together. But can they rebuild their friendship? Or will they become acquaintances relegated to living in the past?

By Chris Powney Published 2 years ago 3 min read
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"From somebody you used to know, and to somebody, I thought I knew"

___________________________________________________To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: Thank you. ____________________________________________________

It's 11.35 PM, and before I start whatever I am about to write, please be advised that I might have had one or two red wines. Firstly, thank you for the flowers you left for mum, she would have loved them had they not come from the florist in Chelsea she hated.

I've tried to write this so many times. Still, the words fail me. I don't know why seeing you at the church struck me. Maybe it's the grief of mums passing, perhaps anger building inside because after ten years of silence, you turn up and on the day my mother is being buried, you don't utter a single word to me.

I've never understood why you just cut me off without a single word. What happened, Smith? Where have you been? I heard rumours that you'd become a late-night shopping channel host, someone said you gained a hundred and ten pounds and become a cook in Hongkong, Tina who was the makeup girl on that Sitcom you did, said you married again and set up home in New Zealand and become a sheep farmer. Still, I didn't take notice. Tina is, after all, a recovering alcoholic, and she had just downed half a bottle of brandy. I had also taken an orange pill. I found it in the clutch bag I took to Ibiza in the summer of 2004, so who knows what that was. All I know is the buzz lasted longer than the Ibiza trip.

The point is, Smith, you were my ride or die, and you abandoned me.

Do you know how many times I have needed you over the past ten years? How I had needed you to tell me it would be O.K, to say, "Caggie, you're being a spoiled self-entitled pompous Twit". But for the last 3,650 days (Give or take), you have been somewhere else.

I don't even know why I am sending this.

After the deafening silence from the past decade, you'd think that would have been hint enough.

Maybe I just wanted to say a final goodbye.

From somebody you used to know, and to somebody, I thought I knew.

Best wishes,

Caggie.

____________________________________________________ To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: Re: Thank you. ____________________________________________________

I wanted to call, to write to make contact with you. You'll never know how much I wanted to reach out.

At the church, I desperately wanted to put my arms around you. All I wanted to do was make it better. I wanted to let you know how sad I am about your mothers passing. I wanted to say just how sorry I am for how I handled things all those years ago. I wanted to, but I didn't know where to start; I still don't.

All those years ago, the person I was, isn't who I am today.

I walked out of my life, and I didn't want to acknowledge even a moment of that chapter for such a long time.

Somehow, you became a casualty of those decisions.

That time in my life was such an overwhelming, confusing blur. I didn't know left from right.

So, was Wanting to apologise to mend the wrongs enough?

The damage seemed simply irreparable. How was sorry going to take the pain I had created away?

When I returned from L.A. after my divorce, I was in such a crazy place I felt everything was entirely out of my control. I'd spent eighteen months in L.A., and all I had to show for it was an unaired T.V. pilot, a tiny part in a box office turkey and a divorce from a woman who was old enough to be my mother. While I stayed silent, she was running around badmouthing me to anyone who would listen, skimming a neat profit off the back of it. What was I going to say anyway? as far as they were concerned, I was the Brit kid riding her movie star back to further my career.

Everything accelerated so fast. I felt swept away and then cast aside in a blink of an eye.

I wish I hadn't taken her advice to sack Joan as my agent. Not in the way I did anyway. I owed your mother more than that.

I am genuinely sorry.

Love,

Smith.

P.S

I didn't become a sheep farmer or gain a hundred and ten pounds. I'm now an English and history teacher at a state-run comprehensive school.

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About the Creator

Chris Powney

Actor & Writer

instagram.com/chrispowney

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