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Enough Is Enough

Sometimes you have to take what is yours.

By Anu SundaramPublished 3 years ago 9 min read
2
Enough Is Enough
Photo by Khadija Yousaf on Unsplash

I butchered the marigolds while weaving them into a garland for my daughter - Anju's wedding. Marigold garlands are my speciality. I was so good at this skill that I made them for my and everybody else's weddings. But for some reason, I was having a hard time making garlands for my daughter's most important milestone. My smart, beautiful lovely daughter was going to marry a guy eleven years older than her because she believed we - well, her father knew what was best for her. If it were up to me, I would have let her do what she wanted and what she was really good at - engineering in computer science. Her teacher at the school had said she had the potential to be a hotshot executive someday. And I knew Mrs. Banerjee - she was not one to boast idly. I looked around in the kitchen - there were signs everywhere of my daughter's tech skills - the smart home gadgets, the timer that sang 'You can bring me the food - mummy' in her voice instead of the shrill alarm. And most importantly, a male voice for Alexa - because she wanted to order around a male in the kitchen, much to her dad's chagrin.

My son, Abhi - was cooking in the kitchen. He was an excellent chef and was making Ladoos for his sister's wedding. All he wanted to do was to become a chef, but my husband refused to hear it just as he refused to hear about my daughter's excellent coding skills.

My mother-in-law, or Ammaji as we called her - walked in - my best friend. We bonded. I guess women in similar situations connect more naturally. She gave me a rap on my head and said in her scratchy voice, 'What's got into you? You are killing the garlands - looks like you are ready to strangle somebody with them.' I ignored her and kept on the facade of weaving garlands. She made chai and handed me a glass forcefully and said, 'Out with it. It is not good to bottle these things. And you are lucky you have me. I had to suffer these by myself.'

I rolled my eyes at the drama. She was the biggest drama queen I had ever seen. I took a sip of the chai. It was so hot it burnt my tongue. I set down the chai cup and sighed. 'Not much. This morning Anju's dad wanted to discuss finances for Anju's wedding with the accountant. Accountant complimented on running a successful online creative drawing class. And how he was jealous that I was making money while literally doing nothing.' My mother-in-law nodded to keep me going. And Anju's dad laughed it off and said, 'What's the point? She is a housewife anyways.'

I looked at my mother-in-law and said,' You would think twenty years of marriage and such comments won't bug me. But they still do, and for some reason today more than ever. ' I gulped down the rest of the chai. 'All I want is an acknowledgement that I am more than just a cook and house cleaner. I have brains. I got better grades them him in our commerce classes. Is it too much to ask?'

Ammaji looked at me and said, 'It is your daughter's wedding, and you are just more stressed. You know he appreciates you even if he does not say it.'

I nodded - this is how our conversations go all the time. I complain. She listens and makes excuses. Will I do the same for my daughter-in-law? I asked Ammaji on a whim, 'How do you do it? Does it not bother you?' She looked at the window - chai cold in her hand and said, 'I kept hoping that others will recognize what I do and one day appreciate it someday - until I realized it was futile and made peace with what is. A woman can accept things, make peace them and men usually struggle with it.' I gave her a look and said, 'That's not fair.'

She gave me another rap on the head and said, 'Now, don't go there. Focus on Anju's wedding. Be happy - this will also pass.' I nodded, but the rankling didn't go away. And as I went about the day, everything bothered me - how people expected me to make chai, but not one person even acknowledged it. Everybody complimented my husband on such a lavish wedding, but not even one of them knew that my investment strategy kept us afloat. Or, worse, none of them knew or appreciated that Anju had a full scholarship from a top university in the US.

The auspicious wedding time was 5:30 pm - There were a lot of things yet to be done. I busied myself with all the activities even as my mind kept compulsively thinking about how it is not fair.

Around 4:00 pm, the photographer asked me to check and see if Anju was ready for a pre-wedding photoshoot. I handed the wedding gifts to my aunt and ran to her room. Anju was not there. For a brief second, I felt happy that she had run away to a better future, but then reality sank in, and I went to the terrace. That's where she and Abhi spent most of the time. I was about to knock on the door when I heard them talking.

Anju was telling Abhi, 'Listen, I know you like cooking and want to be a chef. But papa wants you to be a software engineer. Why don't you just do the course? And I can help you with homework and exams. And once you are done, you can enrol in a cooking class in Paris? Papa won't be able to stop you then. ' Abhi sniffled and said, 'I do not want to study. I love cooking. Why cannot you do the coding - you love it, and you are good at it.' Anju replied, 'Because I am a girl and life is not fair. I have to make do with what I get, even if I am intelligent. '

I took a few minutes to gain my composure before I knocked and asked her to come down for the photoshoot. I was in a daze afterwards - I wasn't even aware of what people were asking me. I made my way to my bedroom, locked myself in, opened up the locker and looked at my degrees, 'Distinction in grade 12th. Graduated top of the class - Bachelors. And there was more - first prize for creative rangoli, first prize in drawing.' And I remember my mom saying, 'I was lucky to have had a chance to study and now I should be grateful that I have such a good groom.' I don't know how long I stayed there - when I heard Ammaji banging at the door, 'Come out - Beti (daughter). It is time to welcome the groom.'

I opened the door and pushed Ammaji aside, and strode to welcome the groom. Ammaji ran behind me, saying, 'Whatever you are thinking of doing - do not. Think of Anju's future.' I strode amid all my family, aunts, uncles, cousins and took the welcoming plate from my cousins' hand and threw it down. It shattered into a stunned silence. Nobody said anything. Ammaji came over and said, 'It must have dropped. All the stress of the wedding...' Everybody started nodding and murmuring in agreement. I started tearing down the marigold garlands and said, 'This wedding is not going to happen.' I raised my hand as Ammaji began to say something.

I looked around and said to myself more than others, 'My daughter is talented. She has a full scholarship to the top university in the US. And I will not ask her to waste her talents and get married to a guy whose IQ is not even 1/10th of hers. She will do what she wants.'

I looked at Ammaji, aunties, womenfolk and said, 'We all have crushed our dreams so that our daughters may have a better chance, but if we never speak up, we will keep dreaming. I have had enough, and I want to end the cycle today.' My husband came over and grabbed my wrist and said, 'What are you saying? I do not know what has gotten into you - just go to the kitchen and make a new welcome plate.'

I looked at him and said, 'Tell everybody that I manage the finances in the house, and that's how you got your new shiny car.' Some people gasped. Ammaji looked at both of us. Abhi had dragged Anju, and they were both standing there shocked. My husband's nostrils were flaring, and his cheeks had gone red. He grabbed my hand and tried to drag me back into the house. I struggled and felt myself losing against this strength. And then a hand caught me - it was Ammaji.

She said, 'Drop her hand. She is right. It is because of her that we are where we are today. The least you can do is apologize.' My husband looked around and said, 'Amma, are you crazy?' And then he addressed the crowd, 'If we let this happen, imagine what will happen next - we will be cooking, and they will be running the house.' My uncle spoke up and said, 'Yes - enough is enough.' My Auntie walked up to him - looked him in the eye, and said, 'Yes - enough is enough. We cook in the house and also run the house. About time you guys did something - acknowledging and appreciating is the least we can expect.'

And just like that, the tide has turned. I did not know if things would be different in the morning, but it did not matter because Anju was smiling genuinely for the first time. She came over and hugged me so hard that we almost fell into the pile of marigold garlands. And then me, Ammaji, Anju, Abhi and all the women and some men started tearing the marigold garlands and showering them on each other.

Abhi came over and said, 'Well, it's a good thing we kept the scholarship letter. And tonight, I will apply for the cooking school in Paris.'

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About the Creator

Anu Sundaram

My vision in life is to be a Better Version Of Myself Every Day. And my purpose in life is ‘Learn, Grow, Inspire and Contribute’.

Everything that I do ties into this vision - including my writing. Check out anumorris.com for more info!

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