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Elsa May Green. Chapters twenty- two, twenty-three, and last Chapter.

A twisted tale of want.

By Peter CulbertPublished 3 years ago 17 min read
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Elsa May Green. Chapters twenty- two, twenty-three, and last Chapter.
Photo by Vladimir Yelizarov on Unsplash

Chapter Twenty-two.

The birthday boy.

September 25th, 2007

Even though a bomb had exploded in my head and my tongue was drier than the Sahara, I felt excited, not just because of my birthday and the thought of spending the final day with my favourite four people but because I would get to speak the words to the woman I adored. No matter who interrupted or the setting, my voice would be heard. One thing haunted me somewhat, If I had seen Camilla last night and it was not a dream and agreed to her inviting herself to our soiree, then I had to be honest with her. I recognized that her being at the boatyard would disrupt my aims, as I picked up the receiver to ring her. She deserved to know the truth, and I hoped by telling her straight she would make alternative arrangements. The phone rang out as a dead tone echoed through my ear.

‘What the hell is happening!’ I thought, placing the receiver back before heading into the bedroom.

We agreed to meet each other at the Kings at our customary time for a quick drink and the clock was ticking, so I gathered the oils and potions for my birthday transformation. Six cosmetic products, a handful of shave gel, and a squirt of aftershave later I was ready, ready to take on the day. My mind was still with Camilla and whether she would turn up as I headed into the hallway, noticing an envelope on the carpet. I picked it up and retreated into the kitchen for my standard caffeine fix, before tearing at the paper to reveal a card.

‘Dear Tom, happy birthday, lots of love, Aunt Mary.’

There was a monster within me that still held anger toward my aunt, but also a part of that loved her deeply. I knew it time to see her and offer an olive branch. I couldn’t spend my birthday not visiting her, so I picked up my keys and headed outside and down the street towards where she lived. The house looked desolate and without life as I trod the garden path and rapped my knuckles against the woodwork. The door creaked open. It was my Aunt Mary; she appeared worn and tired.

‘Thomas, I am so sorry, sorry for the things I did, but I was so scared of losing you. When my sister, your mother passed away you were the only family I had left and stupidly I thought I could keep you for myself. I should have never behaved that way. Could you ever forgive me?'

‘You hurt me so much and stole my opportunity of seeing dad. I never got to tell him I loved him and missed him. I understand you assumed your actions to be correct and honourable. I am confused though why you believed they would help. I know you wanted me in your world but by doing what you did you took away my chance of being a son to him in his last years of life and that is not excusable. I will always love you; I came here today to say these things to you. I do not wish to come inside. I cannot spend time with you, but I hope as times go by then things may change, who knows.'

‘I understand, I love you, Thomas. I hope you have a lovely birthday,’ she said bowing her head.

I left my Aunt’s house satisfied that I spoke with her and to a degree buried the anger I felt under the rosebush in her garden. Today was my day, a day of celebration, and The Kings Head was beckoning.

I could see Michael, and Elsa stood outside the King’s head as I approached.

‘Happy birthday mate, come on, bring it in!’ said Michael, placing his arms around me and squeezing the life from me before handing me a Tesco plastic bag.

‘There you go, open it, open it!’ he said excitedly.

I reached inside to pull out its contents.

‘Err thanks, Mike, what is it?’ I asked.

‘It’s your kite, it's princess Elsa, I found it at the Toy shop on Smith street!’ he replied excitedly.

Only Michael would think of buying me a kite for my birthday last year he had given me a bag of conkers and a ball of string because as a youngster I loved playing the game. The thought was there, I suppose.

‘Thanks, Mike, I will fly it with pride,’ I beamed.

‘This is from me Thomas’ said Elsa handing me a gift wrapped neatly in gold paper, I carefully pulled at the package to reveal a silver frame. It was a picture of the five of us taken by my dad outside our house all those years ago on my sixteenth birthday, only hours before our moment at Badger's rest. We looked so young, so innocent, so lustful for life and everything it had yet to offer.

‘Gosh Elsa, what a wonderful gift, so thoughtful, thank you,’ I said, as she placed a gentle and scented kiss on my cheek.

‘You are very welcome, Thomas.'

‘Not as good as the kite though, hey Tom,’ laughed Michael.

‘Has anyone seen or heard from Ruben or Gabe?’ I asked, still puzzled as to their vanishing.

‘No, I have heard nothing’ replied Elsa, Michael acknowledged by shaking his head.

‘Come on anyway, if we see them then we see them,’ said Michael opening the door to the pub lounge.

The King’s Head was empty as Dave had only a few minutes before unlocked the main door.

‘Happy birthday, Tom, first round on me!’ he cheered from behind the bar.

You could have knocked me over with a feather, Dave was, to put it mildly, the scrooge of the town. There was talk that he used to pour the remaining peanuts from the bowls on the bar back into the bags at the end of the evening until that is the local environment officer had a quiet word with him.

‘That’s very kind of you, Dave, three pints of beer.'

‘So, Tom, another year older, none the wiser’ announced Michael as we took our seats at the table near the window.

‘None the wiser, Mike, just a couple more lines on the old face.'

Elsa was, as always, looking impeccable, donning a white fitted silk blouse which tucked neatly into a pair of flesh clinging black jeans. She smiled at me, turning her head to the side.

‘You still look fantastic Thomas, to me anyway.'

Her words offered me my moment, my chance, and a million obstacles would not stop me, not again.

‘Mike, I am just going to steal Elsa from you, we will be back in twenty minutes’ I said taking her by the hand. Michael nodded, he knew exactly what I planned to do, and with his agreement, we rose to our feet.

‘No problem, see you in a while, I will sit here and get a few more pints down me, hopefully, those two reprobates will turn up!’ shouted Michael as we exited the pub and onto the street.

‘Where are we going, Thomas!?’ asked Elsa as we ran hand in hand.

‘Elsa, there is something I have wanted to say to you for an exceptionally long time, but I cannot express it yet!’ I said, leading her by the hand along the street. Eventually, we arrived at Jackson’s boatyard.

‘Why are we here Thomas, I thought we were coming here later?’

Taking her by the hand, I lowered her into a boat and set sail on the river. I was so nervous and yet so confident; I didn’t know how things would turn out once I said what I had to say, But I knew I would not spend another moment waiting to tell her. I rowed vigorously across the water before ending up at the ultimate destination, Badger's rest.

‘Me, Lady!’ I said, taking her by the hand and leading her to the place that I held sacred in my mind for the past sixteen years. Her favourite flora the daisy brushed against my feet as I stood before her and then.

‘Elsa, there is something I need to tell you, something I should have said many years ago, but the pact I created left me voiceless.’

‘Tell me, Thomas, what is it?’

Chapter Twenty-three.

The darkness wins.

'Elsa May Green, I love you, my entire existence spent wanting you. I sat for fifteen years in silence. The pact made me silent, and it frustrated me. I couldn’t exhaust another moment on this earth without confessing. You are everything to me. You carry my heart, and you are unaware. You capture my soul and yet you are oblivious to it. I have yearned for you every day and every night for all eternity. Today is my birthday and it is also the anniversary of a moment in my heart and mind, the day we kissed on Badger's rest. I am sorry if my words come as a shock to you, I just needed to unload my feelings toward you. The silence has been killing me.’

I watched her and waited. The look in her eyes did not reveal any answer as to the feelings in her heart. I knew no matter what transpired, the heavy anvil of secrecy that weighed me down for so long ejected itself from my soul and onto the breeze and my moment had happened, I was free, I could speak again.

Elsa gently placed her finger on my lips

‘Thomas Atkins, I adore you, I am in love with you. I watched from the sidelines for so many years as you grew from a boy into a man. The only reason I never dared to tell you was because of the agreement, the contract we signed, a pact you stood by for all this time. Why do you think I have always been single, it’s because of my feelings toward you. I knew I could not feel the same way about Ruben, I was living a lie. I spent my life imprisoned, yearning to say those words,’ She replied as she removed her finger from my lips and moved in closer to me.

I sank into the abyss of her eyes as our lips touched later again, sending my body into spasm. I gripped onto her closely as we ascended to the stars. My heart was thudding through my chest as our souls joined in union and our lips sealed seized the moment as our tongues caressed.

The two of us now one, a harmonious togetherness. I embraced this beautiful woman in my arms as our mouths departed and our vision locked.

‘Elsa May Green, I am so in love with you and so relieved you feel the same way, I can breathe again. I am the happiest man in the universe!’ I hailed, holding her close to me and taking in every moment.

‘Me too, Thomas, my only regret is we waited all these years to say anything to each other.’

‘No regrets Elsa, we have our entire lives ahead of us, if you will have me?’ I asked, pulling her into me tightly.

‘I will Thomas Atkins forever!’ she replied gently.

I was whole. For the first time in my existence, I had everything and more. This beautiful soul that fell into my embrace was part of me, and I would love her with every ounce of my being for the rest of my days.

I held Elsa’s hand as I placed her back into the boat; I felt born again, my life could start. This moment heralded the beginning of a love that would last an eternity.

Suddenly I sensed a much more powerful and almighty deathly darkness, far beyond anything I had experienced before.

‘Thomas are you okay?’

I could not move; it paralysed my carcass; I was too late. My heart exploded in my rib cage as the blackness yanked me away from her, crashing through the fence and into the weir. The flood turned blood red as I scrambled hopelessly to paddle to safety, to find my princess. The more I struggled, the further the darkness pulled me under the water. I tried to breathe, my lungs were flooding, my fear consuming. A terrific pain smashed into my mind as my bones snapped against the rocks. My body twisted and spun violently under the deathly white waters as the image of Elsa disappeared, then an almighty roar.

‘Thomas look at me!’ the blackness roared.

The final chapter.

Realisation and regret.

My soul screamed out Elsa’s name as a distant light infiltrated the darkness that had surrounded me and entered my vision. I felt broken, weary, and unable to move.

‘Thomas, look at me,’ said a voice.

My vision was blurry, my body ached, my mind confused.

‘Thomas look at me, try to look into the light,’ said the voice again.

My ears picked up what sounded like footsteps running frantically. No matter how much I tried to lift my head, it was useless. My body felt paralysed and yet my vision became clearer. My eyes focused, a blinding light entered my pupils. I could make out a silhouette of a woman standing before me. She was moving around me, touching my skin, and lifting my arms. Her face came into focus. Stood before I was a lady I had never seen, dressed in a white coat.

‘Thomas, look at me, it’s okay, please don’t alarm yourself, my name is Dr. Nicole Smith I am the consultant in charge of the ICU unit at Kings Head hospital, do you remember your surname?’

‘Yes, I am Thomas, Thomas Atkins,’ I replied wearily.

‘I told her I love her, it was my time, my chance,’ I said as a single tear fell onto my face.

‘Thomas, it’s okay, please do not get upset,’ the doctor said.

‘Shirley could you check his blood pressure for me please’ she said to a lady in a blue outfit who was busy checking the plastic lines attached to my veins.

‘Yes Doctor, it’s good to see you awake again Thomas,’ she said with a smile as she placed the blood pressure monitor on my arm.

I was so confused, only what seemed like moments before I was embracing the woman I had loved for a lifetime.

‘It is good to have you back with us, Thomas’ said Doctor Smith, who was holding my hand.

‘His blood pressure is quite low,’ said Shirley.

'Why am I here?'

‘Thomas, I want you to relax but there is something I need to tell you. Many years ago when you were sixteen, you and your friends had an accident at the river, the boat you were in became trapped in the weir close to Badger's rest. You suffered severe head injuries and damage to your left leg, we had no option but to amputate. The severity of your head injuries forced us to put you in a medically induced coma and you have been here for a long time,’ said Doctor Smith as her eyes expressed a look of sadness.

‘Please tell me, how long have I been here?’

‘Thomas, you have been here for fifteen years, I am so sorry.'

‘I don’t understand, my friends and I were celebrating my birthday, and we were going back to the King’s Head for...’

It then dawned on me she had said I was in the Kings Head ICU. My eyes left her face for a moment, desperately searching the room for some answers. I stopped at an old clock on the wall, the minute hand at number five and the hour hand at noon.

‘That still clock has stayed at twelve o five since the day they admitted you, I didn’t want to put another battery in it until you woke,’ said Shirley, taking a little battery out of her pocket and smiling.

‘I have carried this battery into work every day, Thomas as now I can start that clock up again,’ she said before lifting the clock from the wall.

I turned my head toward the bedside cabinet and upon it sat an old brown paper boat, like the ones myself and my dad used to set sail.

‘Ah, the infamous boat, it was in your pocket when you when the ambulance brought you into us, I didn’t have the heart to throw it away,’ said Doctor Smith.

‘Thomas you must relax now, I will send a member of my team in to check on you in a moment,’ said doctor smith.

I needed to know what had happened, and I needed to know now.

‘Doctor, please don’t go, please tell me what happened,’

Doctor Smith paused for a moment before sitting back down next to me on the bed.

‘You had an accident Thomas, they dragged out you of the water, but you are safe now Thomas,’ she replied.

It all made sense to me. The clock on the wall stopped at five minutes after noon. Shirley and Nicole, The King’s Head, the paper boat, everything I have been experiencing was a coma induced dream.

‘You have been drifting in and out of your comatose state for months Thomas. Each time I sat with you urging you to look at me, to focus on me. I thought we were going to lose you for a while but you battled the darkness and returned to the light,’ said Doctor Smith.

The blackness that had pursued me in my dreams was not a dreadful gloom seeking to harm me, it was a message, a voice struggling to wake me from my slumber. It was the doctor working to get me to come back.

‘Could you tell my mother and father I am awake, also my friends?’

I watched Doctor Smith's face as her look of empathy turned to one of sadness.

‘Thomas, I am so sorry, your mother passed away not long after the accident. I am so deeply sorry,’

‘How did she die, please tell me?’

‘Thomas, following your accident, your mother struggled, struggled with living without you. Her body was discovered at the top of the hill down the road from here, she passed away there. The police said it was quick and painless, a drug overdose I am so sorry, I truly am.'

‘It’s all my fault’ I said, choking on my tears.

‘Thomas, listen to me it was not your fault, something of that nature was bound to happen. They erected fencing following your accident to protect people from entering the weir. You cannot blame yourself.'

‘My friends, please tell my friends I am awake, please.'

Doctor Smith’s face became sullen as she struggled with her composure.

‘Thomas your friends, didn’t make it, they tried to pull them from the weir but it was too late. Many people including a young lady who sadly perished came to help but the waters were too powerful I am so sorry.'

Her words crashed into my heart and soul like a meteorite hitting earth, leaving behind a vast crater that left me broken. It finished me, I could not go on, Gabriel, Ruben, and Michael, now lived only in my mind and waited for me on the other side. Elsa, the woman I cherished since her first smile as a little girl, the angel loved for so very long, no longer remained. This was not the life I wanted, this reality, the stark awareness that I was alone was not how it was going to be. An ocean of sadness washed over my soul and drowned me as darkness grasped my body.

My heartbeat slowed, as I fell deeper toward obscurity with one sole purpose, to discover her, to seek my Elsa. My existence on this cold and lonely planet without her was not an option and I would be with her no matter what. She was my life, the reason that my heart had a beat and her death, the reason I was slipping away. I would find her again; I would tell her I love her and hold her close. The darkness shrouded me as my body became weak and my mind calm; I accepted the fate that awaited me, knowing that I would be with her, to touch her, to embrace her. To kiss her as we had all those forgotten years ago at Badger's rest, and with those thoughts, I closed my eyes for the very last time.

‘I am coming for you Elsa, I love you,’

The phone call from the hospital left me overjoyed. He had woken; he was back with me and I could live again, to love him for real. I waited for fifteen years for my moment, my chance to tell him, to give myself to him. This man that had stayed in my dreams every night since our first kiss would now hear what I have to say, no matter what the consequences. Thomas Atkins, I love you and if you feel the same way, then our lives can start. I am coming for you, Thomas.

Elsa picked up her car keys and a glass jar containing a daisy chain she stayed behind to make for Thomas while they went back on the river. That fateful afternoon all those years ago at Badger's rest.

The End.

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About the Creator

Peter Culbert

I am a fifty three year old father of three. Diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder late in life I have struggled at times with the road on which I tread. I have a real passion for writing, I may not be very good at it but this will never stop me.

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