Dreamer

Alice filled her lungs with the cool breeze that wafted in through her dark basement window. She’d been renting this dank dungeon suite for nearly five years, but the house had been rooted here since 1946. Though the ceiling came down to just a few inches above her head, this was the one place where she felt she could stand tall. This was her sanctuary, her bat-cave, her anything she needed it to be. When the world outside felt like chaos, she could always slump solidly into her favourite chair or snuggle with the many pillows and blankets on her soft bed.

This night was one of those chaotic shifts that seemed to make the world spin and scream around her. Now centered in her safe place, the echoes of demanding patrons yelling orders at her like a vending machine could be put away. Her shift wasn’t terribly different from the many she had served before, but Alice found it difficult to wind down tonight. Nothing extraordinary had occurred, but every little thing seemed to compound together, reminding her that this was not what she came here to do.

Every day this month had felt the same. She’d moved to the city a few years ago, excited and eager to follow her passion. This city was supposed to be the land of opportunity, Hollywood North. It was filled to bursting with artists and creators and projects to be a part of. On nights like tonight though, Alice wondered if she’d ever get to realize her potential. She’d known her whole life that acting was what she was meant to do, but it wasn’t until she was twenty-five that she decided to seriously pursue it.

She had stayed in her hometown to save money while getting her commerce degree and then got a job in a small office in that same small town right out of school. At the time, she had felt fortunate to have found a stable career so fast and was even thinking about buying her own home. After a few years though, Alice found that she was depressed, unfulfilled, and about forty pounds heavier than when she had started university. She still couldn’t afford a down payment on a house, she was single, her best friends had all moved away, and she couldn’t even get a cat because her crappy one bedroom apartment wouldn’t allow them. It wasn’t until she realised how low this point was, that Alice decided to make a change. She saved up enough money, moved to the city, took classes, found an agent, and turned her life around! Alice did everything she had always wanted to do!

Things seemed to be going great at first, but now it was nearly five years later and she had little to show. She had to work in a bar to pay rent and that rent was for a crappy basement room in a crappy house with three at least not so crappy roommates. She was still overweight, though thankfully healthier than before, and still single, but now she had the added layer of not feeling good enough to succeed at her dream. At least in her hometown she had been a big fish in a small pond who hadn’t succeeded only because she hadn’t tried to.

Oof. Slumped in her favourite chair in her room, feet throbbing and back aching, Alice wondered when the hell she would finally be too old for this. Her thirtieth birthday was now creeping closer, and she wondered if she even deserved to achieve anything significant. What was significant anyway? Money? Fame? A mark on history? Maybe her purpose was only to live and then die, with no meaning or impact.

Oof again. That’s a dark thought, even if it’s true. Her agent barely ever sent her on auditions, and the roles she found for herself were small and infrequent. Was it time to give up and move on to something else? Alice wondered if she had made the right decision, throwing away all that boring stability just to be here in this city, following some crazy dream. It might have been a colossal mistake, but something in her gut told her that this was where she was supposed to go – and hey, at least now she had cats!

I really hope I’m not becoming a crazy cat lady. Alice thought to herself as she tickled the cheeks of Sam and Steve who had come into her room expecting attention. They were two giant, long haired, tuxedo cats, and Alice was completely in love with them both. She crawled into bed, put one pillow between her knees, clutched another to her chest, and tucked her blankets all around her. Sam took his spot sprawled at the foot of her bed, and Steve curled himself into her now vacant chair. Even with those two supportive fur balls so close to her, doubt clouded her mind and filled her with anxiety, and she counted the tiles on her ceiling until she fell to sleep.

~~~

Alice’s eyes flashed opened to a familiar sight, her room just as she knew it. She could hear footsteps and loud voices from her roommates upstairs. It sounded like they were having some kind of party, but she could not recall being invited. It might be something she ought to go and investigate, but her bed was warm and she knew that if her feet hit the cold floor that she might never be able to get back to sleep. Besides, it was beginning to feel like she was underwater and the voices were far away on shore.

Suddenly, a jolt went through her like an electric shock in the water. It stopped her heart for a moment and then ramped up its beats until she could hear the blood pounding in her ears and she was wide awake. Alice’s heart thumped with adrenaline and fear began to wash over her. It crept in from her toes and quickly settled in her gut, spreading out to every part of her and flushing heat to her face. She was certain that something was in her room with her, but it was nearly pitch black and she could barely make out the faint glow from the streetlight outside her window. The shrieking voices and footsteps pounding upstairs got louder and Alice tried to call out to them for help, but her voice was hoarse and raspy and she couldn’t make a sound. Panic took over and Alice thought if there were ever a time she needed to scream it was now. Something was here, and it wanted her.

She couldn’t move. Oh God, she couldn’t move. Alice tried to lift her head, to see the thing that was here for her, but her neck was locked to her pillow. All she could see was the tiled ceiling that had once been so comforting, and the faint glow of the streetlamp in her peripheral.

No, no, no. Alice thought as sweat soaked through her cotton pajamas. I have to move, I have to get up. No matter how much she tried to will her limbs, they would not budge.

The presence in her room was moving closer. She couldn’t turn her head to see, but Alice knew that it was in the left corner of her room and she could feel it creeping closer. It seemed to move out of time, like a needle skipping on a record, jumping forward out of rhythm. When it reached the foot of her bed, Alice finally saw it. It floated up above her, no longer skipping and hiding in the shadows. It was here for her. It wanted her to see it and even in the inky dark, she could.

The first thing she noticed was the yellow dress. Such an out of place colour for such a terrifying creature. It billowed and flowed about, as if caught in some sort of wind surrounding only itself. A dress like the ones worn in the summer to chase rabbits through fields of buttercups, or to sit on a hot southern porch sipping iced tea. This simple, happy dress was so out of place here floating above her, and yet the thing wearing the dress seemed to match it perfectly as though it had only ever worn a yellow sundress. That thing above her in the yellow dress though, was anything but sunny.

It had pale, grey skin that stretched so thinly over its sharp bones that veins were visible pumping dark blood through its emaciated body. Curly, white hair sprung from its head and went untamed in all directions. Alice was locked in to its eyes and saw that they were sunk into the sockets, two dark pits pulling her in. There was something so familiar about this corpse in a yellow dress, floating above her. She knew that it was female, and that she had met it before, but she couldn’t remember when or where, and could feel herself being pulled in. It fell closer and unhinged its jaw, its mouth opening wide to a dark empty space that went on for eternity. Alice knew that she would be sucked in, and she was certain that would be the end. She couldn’t move or scream, or do anything to stop the abyss from taking her in. She was powerless, trapped in her own body. How could she stop this thing from taking over her? If only she could move just a little, even to turn her head to the side, but it was useless. There was nothing she could do to fight this thing off. She needed help, but who could help her?

Alice tried again to call out to her roommates upstairs, but her voice was paralyzed just like the rest of her. She could feel the room shifting as she was pulled deeper into the being’s void. Her efforts were futile, and angry tears fell down her cheeks. This was not how she wanted to go, she had so much more left to do.

“GOD, HELP ME!”

The words flew out of her, fueled by rage and frustration. They were louder than the voices upstairs, maybe even louder than any voice Alice had ever heard. The woman in the yellow dress stopped, and her jaw snapped shut. Where she had seemed so sure and intent on her prey a moment before, she now seemed hesitant and began to float back up into the corner of the room. This fearsome creature that had filled Alice with complete terror moments before, dissolved into the dark as though it had never been there at all. The voices upstairs faded away. No footsteps could be heard pounding and dancing above. The air was silent and still in Alice’s room once again and she felt her body relax, though her heart was still pounding. Alice knew how close she had come to the abyss and was certain that she had just cheated death. Carefully, she let herself drift back to sleep, praying the woman in the yellow dress would not return. Praying that if she were to write this all down, that it would just be a story with a clichéd ending. That it was all just a dream.