The Bread Diaries: I've Bun Defeated

by Amber Van Wort 13 days ago in diy

A beginners attempt at baking buns

The Bread Diaries: I've Bun Defeated
The buns on the right were my only success

If there’s anything I’ve learned in my six months as an average, self-appointed quarantine chef, it’s that some recipes no matter how easy they appear will get the best of you.

These recipes will lure you in with promises of being quick, easy, and delicious, but don’t let them fool you. Soon you’ll be dumping your flat ass buns into the garbage as you weep uncontrollably over the trash.

Now, I’ve had my share of successful buns, but these super soft subway buns have left me sobbing in the kitchen on five separate occasions now.

I originally tried the recipe after a week where we ordered Belly Buster Submarines three times in one week (shout out to the super stack!)

After realizing what a horrifying toll those Uber Eats orders took on my bank account, I decided it was time to make delicious drool-worthy subs at home on the cheap.

Armed with beginners’ luck I managed to whip up these bad boys like I was the Picasso of sandwich artists. And to my surprise, the buns turned out beautifully. (There’s a ‘The Weeping Woman’ joke in there somewhere, but I am too lazy to make it)

So, we ate subs for another three days in a row (more on my potential addiction to sandwiches later) and I was beaming with the kind of pride every mom has while watching their child grow up into the chewy, soft, and flavourful buns they were always meant to be.

Am I claiming that I love bread the same way a parent loves a child? Yes, yes I am.

A few weeks go by before the urge to eat a week’s worth of subs hits again, but this time neither I nor my bun babies rose to the occasion.

This time I went into the recipe cocky. I’ve already done this once before, no problem. I even added garlic, herbs, and cheese to the mix to get that Italian herb and cheese vibe (a.k.a the only worthwhile option at Subway.)

But, before I even put them in the oven, I knew the buns were doomed. They had barely risen and I thought, okay, maybe it’s too cold in here.

This was the beginning of a very strange habit I’ve developed where I cuddle my rising dough to keep it from getting too cold. Because a mothers love knows no bounds.

After three more failed bun attempts on the same day, I decided to blame my potentially expired yeast for the multiple failures and I headed to the store.

Kneadless to say, my final attempt determined that it was, in fact, not the yeast.

Upon reflection, a few other things could have gone wrong. Maybe my water was too hot or too cold for the yeast. Maybe I wasn’t (I definitely wasn’t) kneading the dough properly. Maybe I’d added too much flour to the mix. Who knows?

What I do know is that one day I will work up the courage to try again….

That said, stay tuned for more editions of The Bread Diaries because I will certainly give these ole’ buns another go soon enough. You know, once my pride has healed a little more.

I also plan to share more failures, some of my bread success stories, and tips I’ve picked up along the way that can help you break into the world of breadmaking.

I am by no means an expert, I’m just home and hangry with a craving for bread.

P.s. this is in no way an insult to the recipe I used, which is great and available here for you to try as well.

Amber Van Wort
Amber Van Wort
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Amber Van Wort
Probably introverting // Freelance writer // Shower singer // Kadri’s eyebrows enthusiast
See all posts by Amber Van Wort