Single guy food for him and his Crew..may it be the guys or the munchkins

So there are few things as annoying as cooking for most guys..add in single dadhood or a demanding job with little time do much than grab and go and we all need a few shortcuts..Not the Nanny, but the Logical Guide to making sure you eat in a crazy world and the kids are fed before the they make a statement like "Daddy didn't feed me" mostly because they want McDonald's and didn't mean to be sending mom off to courthouse with his/her kids say the darndest things but that the ex wife/baby momma was just waiting for such a statement to drag the ex into a legal battle because they want Prada for the 2 yr old. In case anyone is interested I solved child support last year ..How to handle your Ex paralegal edition which is contained in my Vocal articles. This can also be used for the single mom who has an actual asshole of an ex..no ladies I didn't forget about you ..just behave as if you aren't a crack whore on PCP and it is ok.

Back to the case at hand..There are two options: "I am starving myself to look good because the the Book of Love is truth in my life" or "The hand me the carbs version." I will always opt for the carb loaded version.

For the guys on the Atkins Diet- aside from my personal dislike of it and when I was forced to do it as a teenager would drive myself to McDonald's for a Happy Meal because adults need French fries to live (but I have also added Iphones, internet, Netflix, coffee, external validation, pizza, make up and love to Maslow's base hierarchy of needs..Don't judge me - seriously it's 2021 everything needs an update.

Breakfast food that fuels justice and common sense.

Breakfast Boxes

I added fried potatoes and bacon into the mix , along with some extra cheese ..cholesterol be damned .. you only live once. Add a second Grands biscuit on top, close and seal for the morning shift, or Breakfast at Midnight.. however you don't have to break out into Taylor Swift's 22, but dance like no one is watching, because seriously we don't live in Footloose.

You can pop them in the microwave ..as you stumble to the coffee pot-that if you were smart you set up the night before. You can skip the potatoes and biscuits for the carb conscience or look into getting low carb tortillas ..

Another easy trick... instead of making Grands biscuits as they come out of the can smush them into oval shaped food ends (yes I am aware food end is not an actual word but if the idiots can use bae and shortie which I hate, I can invent food ends) ... bake as directed.

Layer with scrambled or fried or whatever way you like them eggs. Load up on the shredded cheese.

And on the 2nd day God invented Breakfast Pizza...

Not rocket science. Grands biscuits flattened into a round shape, loaded with scrambled eggs, and shredded cheese. They can be cut in quarters for little hands or to prevent adult choking hazards...unless you are having a very lonely day and just need to see a cute firefighter or paramedic..in that case I would just recommend walking by the local fire department during shift change or when they do PT runs. No false reporting to get the hot deputies to come do a meet and greet either. Just get a really good pair of glasses they can be spotted outside LEO parked outside the local pizza joint and at the local grocery.

The trick: Partially cook the Grands biscuits (the bottoms should be done and the biscuits half way cooked , dab some butter on and load the mini puffs of heaven with the ingredients before you cook them completely . Note- you have to cook the sausage before you put it in the oven, and the eggs.

Next up the Bacon wrapped omelet...

Quick and easy... Make an Omelet, lay sliced cheese of your choice- I used pepper jack on top ..Cut into either bite sized pieces to wrap with 1/2 a slice of bacon or larger pieces if the bit sized ones get to tedious for the impatient.

Take slices of bacon (to allow them to be wrapped add a table spoon of oil to the pan before frying. I keeps it soft enough to be wrapped but doesn't prevent it from being cooked properly.)

Always a coffee girl..it's my blood type. It's a rare condition that only afflicts the busy and underpaid. Medical researchers have yet to understand it fully, but from anecdotal evidence it is a result of long hours spent chasing bad guys and building an empire. It also dispropotionately effects, first responders and those weary of corruption as they burn the midnight oil, or the candle at both ends..It is a rare mutation of the human DNA that can only be detected by those afflicted with the same condition. Symptoms include mounds of paperwork, judicial inefficiency and annoying supervisors. Only when two or more of the afflicted meet can they recognize each other. Always looking for the solution, they know their tribe.

In order to spark a conversation, a simple modification of the tried and true to add a little spark to the world I added both Cayenne and Cinnamon to the syrup ( Just 1 cup water, 1 cup sugar) after the sugar had dissolved in the pan. It can be made in bulkish and stored in air tight container.

Lunches

Brunch tacos - For those of you in love with Taco Tuesday..here is quick fix that you really can make for anytime..I would say pass the Mimosas but no alcohol until after work..unless you work in a bar, or make six figures.

Simply scrambled eggs in place of the traditional hamburger, add in crumbled sausage or strips of bacon, slices of cheese and decorate accordingly. The possibilities are endless but these are the basic version so you have a template.

Lunch Boxes on a Budget

Bacon wrapped hard boiled eggs and cheese slices..to keep them from getting all icky..just slice them while in the wrapper and leave them there until lunch time.

Great for the kids and not even close to the price of my beloved Starbucks boxs...Not that the kids can really tell the difference. Just throw in some apple slices please.

Tired of the same old, same old deviled eggs.. monotony is a bitch even when it comes to food.. Despite what I have been told that the same foods can be eaten the same way over and over. Not true. Not true Not true.

Replace the Mayo with a dash of avocado oil mayo- just for the thickness. Use more Herdaz Guacamole Salsa and La Mexicana Salsa in place of the mustard. Sprinkle with Cayenne pepper to taste, you also add in thinly sliced avocado in the mix to help with the consistency.

Everyone and every man alive (and his bros) love finger foods but really why go with the boring..

The requirement her is the ingredients.. No you can't use any brand of of hot dogs and no you can't use any brand of Crescent rolls.

Hot dogs must always be Nathan's ... the Crescent rolls always Pillsbury but I have discovered this amazing brand Annie's https://www.annies.com.

I have always been a diehard Pillsbury fan but seriously organic can taste good. These were made with the Annie's brand (tangential plug- the Oatmeal Raisin ones put my homemade ones to shame and I pair mine with Jack Daniel's) .

Slice the hotdogs in half, place a 1/3 of a slice of pepper jack cheese on the inside of the Crescent roll, roll them up and bake as directed. Once they are done and perfectly golden brown, place the remaining 2/3 of the cheese on top of the perfect little piggy wrap, pop him in the oven for a few more minutes and there you go.. Pepper jack mini piggies in a blanket. Obviously you can change out the cheese based on preference but some amazing gourmet thoughts are also possible.

Until later my fantastic friends .... Keep Calm and Foodie On

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