Merry Christmas to Me

I’m not spending Christmas like most families this year. I’m not even sure what is “normal” for most families.

Actually, I'm spending Christmas like any other day. This year, I'm not obligated to anyone or any organisation, which is quite refreshing. It was probably the first in my ten-year career.

A part of me is curious, and I'm wondering if I should go to Costco on Christmas Eve just to soak up other people's holiday vibes and feel like I'm a part of the festivities... Is this what it's like to get older and lonely?

Then there's the risk of public health implications... Costco? Is the area crowded? Should I go but disguise myself? It's getting really hot in Australia, and I'd rather not do that... However, Covid numbers are increasing once more... Maybe I should be more cautious... Then the thought is, "Too hard" - let's stay at home and watch Netflix... Let's just keep quiet while the rest of the world goes shopping.

My refrigerator is well-stocked. I had my groceries delivered. I've even made a quick trip to Coles to replenish my supplies. I don't need to go to Costco right now; I'd just go out of curiosity.Why not spend some time outside? It's far too hot in Australia, specifically on the Gold Coast. No way am I going to the beach. During the cooler months, I walk my dog around the neighbourhood, but I'm not going hiking or anything.

I've got a brownie cake mix... I had planned to bake it because... well, it's Christmas, so why not? Is it just me who eats these brownies? Sure thing.

I can't give it to my dog...

I do have a book to read, Michelle Obama's latest - yes, Michelle Obama appears to be a better friend than most others in my real life... Nobody else around me has such thoughtful insights or lived such interesting lives...

Tik Tok is the most bizarre addiction. I'm still attempting to strike a balance between self-indulgence and constructive contributions to that platform.

All of this alone time causes me to reflect on my goals and priorities for the coming year. What else would I like to manifest? To accomplish?

We barely have enough energy to get there...

I want to navigate something both steady and exciting. I want real, genuine, sustainable cash flow so that my talents can thrive and excel, and to resonate with audiences who are meant to resonate with them.

I don't mind working part-time... whatever other corporate job I might have...

When will it be next year? I'd like to live in a little more luxury, with a little more decoration around me, basking in a little more abundance flow... But, aside from that, I'd be grateful if everyone in my family and loved ones stayed healthy, safe, and happy.

I'm not prepared for a sudden illness in a family member. I'm not prepared for a friend's sudden death, an accident, or any other career setback... That has worn on my heart. I need a year of hope, healthy optimism, and genuine appreciation for myself.

I'm not sure if it's just my family and me. We're scattered this Christmas - some have only recently caught Covid - and it doesn't really matter, it never did. We are not religious, and we have no steadfast family traditions around this time. (Yes, we would have had a family lunch, but that has now been cancelled!)

We usually use this time - prior to the pandemic - to travel, to see other parts of the world... hang out in places that don't care as much about Christmas... or take on more shifts, the ones that no one wants, to get a little more pay at this time... Immigrant family vibes.

It's Christmas week, and I'm actually relieved. It's refreshing to have alone, down time in a Western country at this time of year - I don't need to prove my sense of peace or calm to anyone on social media.

I prefer my solitude most of the time. I genuinely enjoy being in a peaceful home.

I'm writing this to let others know that if you're alone this Christmas, it's actually quite refreshing.

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