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How to Get Brunch at Calico Cupboard

for Devin & Elizabeth

By Katherine J. ZumpanoPublished 4 years ago 3 min read
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1. Don’t be ashamed—admit it, say, “I am a brunch girl.” You read some article that painted brunch in a harsh, sunny-side up light, one that made it sound shameful to be a millennial woman who enjoys brunch, and now you feel a tinge of self-consciousness each time you walk into the cozy café. Push those thoughts aside and repeat: “I am a brunch girl.”

2. When you arrive at your corner table—on time, and before your habitually-late friends—cast a cursory glance towards the menu. You always get the same thing, because Calico Cupboard makes the best eggs benedict in the county. You branched out once, ordering too-sweet French toast, so now you play it safe. Don’t mess with a good thing.

3. Order a mimosa while you wait. Mimosas are a must. Which one you order depends wholly on the season: refreshing Lavender Lemon in summer, spiced Apple Cider each autumn, surprisingly tart Cranberry for winter, and the simple and sweet OJ in spring. There are no rules for the second (or third, if you get that far) mimosa.

4. Before you take a sip, snap a pic for Instagram. Take a few minutes to edit it before posting—adjust the brightness, increase the saturation, find the best filter. Then, finally, taste the drink. Let the bubbles dance across your tongue and down your throat. Savor it.

5. Your friends have arrived! Spend the next twenty minutes catching up; fawning over the newest baby photos—although she’s hardly a baby anymore at two-and-a-half, and you can’t believe how big she’s getting and how curly her hair is and you would love to see her next time; gossiping about former coworkers, like who quit and who had a baby and who disappeared off the face of the earth. Each time the server comes back to the table—the nice one, the one who put a candle in your birthday cinnamon roll—tell her, “We just need another minute!” It’s been months since you all saw one another, and you’re relishing in this late-morning ritual.

6. “Sorry—just one more minute!”

7. Finally, when you’ve caught up on the most urgent news, order the Calico Benedicts, replacing the traditional English muffin and ham with a buttery, house-made croissant and vibrantly pink smoked salmon. Don’t forget to order that second mimosa.

8. While you wait for your food, talk more. Ask if you should get bangs. Complain about the roundabout being built on D Street, the ferry traffic that doesn’t seem to end and stretches the whole way into town. Pass your phones around the table and share photos of your cats, text messages from that argument last week with your significant other, that new game you can’t stop playing. Reminisce about the days you all worked together, how you used to see each other every day and now you’re lucky to find time for a phone call. Talk about new jobs, family, school, finances, trips—anything and everything that’s happened since you last saw each other.

9. Once your food arrives, let the conversation grow lighter. Fill your bellies with food, your souls with love, and your feeds with #brunch photos.

10. After your meal, suggest splitting a cinnamon roll or ordering a few cookies—anything to sit there for a while longer. Resort to small talk, if you must.

11. When you tip, tip big. The server allows your reunion to run on, never rushes you.

12. As you exit—through the side door, closer to the parking lot—make plans for the next time. Suggest in a few weeks; they’ll agree. This won’t happen, as life finds a way and you’ll inevitably find yourselves without a babysitter, swamped with homework, covering shifts to fix a car. That’s okay. It might take weeks, even months, but eventually you’ll be back, mimosa in hand as you partake in your favorite ritual.

You’re all brunch girls.

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About the Creator

Katherine J. Zumpano

writer 🖌️ reader 📖 pnw 🌲

wwu alum 🎓

pisces sun ♓️ taurus moon ♉️

pieces in southchild lit, jeopardy mag & more

social media: @kjzwrites

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