What I Learned From Dealing with Child Abuse

This article will be a little similar to a previous one I wrote about being raised in an abusive household. However, I want to discuss specific examples of some of the abusive behaviors I endured from my mother. My mother in particular was no stranger when it came to using a belt. Some people feel like corporal punishment can help keep a child in line. Some also feel that the only thing a kid needs is a spanking. Then there are those who feel as though a belt or spanking could do justice. Nowadays, the ideology behind corporal punishment is pretty controversial. Plenty of people feel like it's child abuse or close to it. I can understand their sentiment. I personally don't think I'll be able to use corporal punishment if I were to have my own children.

As I got older, my mother had no problem roping me in whenever my older sister messed up. My older sister in particular had many boyfriends in high school and became sexually active in 10th grade. Before long, she was sneaking guys in the house while our mother was at work or going over to their homes to have sex. She also had a habit of cheating on her boyfriends by hooking up with other guys. One evening, my mother's boyfriend came home earlier than usual. It was the same day she snuck her boyfriend into the house. I told him my sister's boyfriend was upstairs. To make a long story short, he told our mother after she came home. Our mother caught him in our bedroom closet, he got out and then she proceeded to beat both of us for something my sister did. This same type of scenario played out before and after this particular scene. My mother hit me because I didn't call her cell to tell her what happened. Honestly, I was scared of my mother growing up. She was intimidating yet probably ashamed of me because I was "her retarded child." I now realized that my life with my mother and sister between the ages of 4 and 18 was all a lie.

About a couple months later, my mother found a hole I ripped on the couch in the living room. Her ex-boyfriend showed it to her while he was looking for the remote to a VCR/DVD player we owned. She yelled at me to come downstairs. I knew I was in trouble. She asked me if I put a hole in the couch. I lied and said no. That's when she began to hit me with her belt. She told me I should've came to her when I ripped a hole in the couch. She claimed she wouldn't have given me a whipping. But, I didn't believe her and still don't to this day. I was permanently banned from the living room just for putting a hole in the couch. The worst thing about this was how it happened on the last day of spring break. I think she tried to permanently ban me from the living room as payback for all the times I covered for my sister. I thought the punishment was unfair. I would often sneak into the living room to watch TV while she and her ex were at work. Plenty of times her ex-boyfriend would come home early from his job most likely because of his seniority. He would catch me watching TV in the living room and would often take the remote or the digital cable box out of the house. I felt like my mother would often look for ways to punish or mistreat me. Despite trying to get close to her during my high school years.

It seemed like no matter how hard I tried to be good I still messed up. I realized no matter how much I tried to get into her good graces, she still saw me as less than and tried to control me. About a couple years later when I was in high school, I accidentally put a hole in the bedroom ceiling jumping on the bed. I also put another hole in the wall a year earlier. This time around my mother not only gave me a beating but she and her boyfriend decided to unplug both my computer and radio. She said how I wasn't going to listen to it for a while. This time I didn't get my computer privileges back until my sister returned home from Texas. She briefly lived with one of my uncles. If that wasn't horrible enough, I was forced to use my allowance to pay for drywall and other painting supplies to try and "repair" both holes. I had no idea how to do it. These are just many examples of how my mother mistreated me as a child.

I also realized no matter how much my sister messed up my mother somehow had a special place in her heart for her. She accused her own mother of having favorite children yet she did the same thing. I personally feel like my grandmother doesn't have any favorite children and loves all her family equally. My mother never realized this nor did she want to. I also learned not to be like my mother. If I were to have children, I'd treat them equally. If anything, I'd tell them they're all winners. I wouldn't try to play one off against the other like my mother did to us. If another child had nothing to do with what their brother or sister did, I wouldn't punish them over their siblings' actions.