The Emerald Feather of Truth & Justice

The First Emanation of the Voice of Love

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with Love, and the Word was Love.

As the Great Spirit moved through the void and created the YOUniverse, a single feather--etheric yet corporeal--fell from its plume. It drifted and wafted through the Primal Winds and Sound Fields, and landed atop a formation of rocks in a hidden cove--surrounded with trickling Amrita against the dazzling geodes--still glistening with the Light of its Source. The multi-colored feather, an ever-changing constant, began to crystalize and settle into a brilliant emerald hue. It has waited there since the beginning of Time, for a heart of fire worthy of its gifts.

Have you ever wondered what it would be like if crying, screaming, laughing, whispering and dancing were melded into a singular, unified sound? How would that vibration affect the world around you? When the Soul speaks, God listens. When Truth is sought, Love is found. Unutterable Freedom is the ultimate prize. This is the story of how my Soul Song led me to You:

Dearest Feather,

I don't know how it happened, but it did. How were we so fortunate to have crossed each other's paths in this lifetime? I had been drifting idly through a bleak existence, yet with a grand vision of what was possible for the world. I didn't exactly know where to start to make the necessary changes, but deep down I knew something had to give. Almost as if I knew that some cruel twist of fate had to happen to catapult me in the direction I needed to go. My life was in shambles, barely hanging on by a thread.

It had been three years since my family had moved in together to be caregivers for my father who had been hospitalized for a slew of medical complications. Having just dropped out of school for the family emergency, I had convinced myself that I was doing it out of love, yet it felt more like obligation. I was jaded. You know how people say that their life flashes before their eyes on their deathbed? How odd that it was my dad on the throes of death, yet it was me who got flashbacks of my childhood. I looked up to him, yet at some point in time the relationship was strained and I did not feel safe in his presence--emotionally, mentally, and physically. You could call it abuse (we'll just use our imagination for that). It was an internally conflicting experience. The chaos and confusion that took over my life had lulled me into complacency. I was stuck.

For better or worse, I had gone into hermit mode. It was actually a relief to get away from the mundane reality of so-called "higher education." You could say that I was never able to fit in to what society demanded I should be. I felt defeated, like my light was snuffed out, and my dreams decomposed to dross. But I kept on living for the sake of loyalty and an archaic sense of family.

Flash forward.

Love in the Time of Chemtrails

Two and a half years into the controversial U.S. Presidency, I had somewhat regained a sense of purpose and drive to get my life off the ground, yet still blinded to the how of it all. Regaining a sense of compassion for my family, and especially my father--now since remembering all the "good times" and all the milestones that I've checked off on my journey of personal development, I was ready to find love.

I had met someone, and she fit the bill for what I was looking for. How vapid and elementary can you get, thinking that love is a checklist to be marked off? Were my aspirations even mine, or society's? A wife, some kids, a house, etc. It was my first time opting for a long-distance relationship thinking that things would just fall into place, without actually putting in the work to make the necessary changes. I had been steeped in philosophy and theory, in my attempt to make sense of what on Earth was happening on the world stage. Fear mongering, left and right! I thought I had my values in check; I thought I was on the right side of history. The woman I met seemed to have all the same values (such as justice and freedom)... at least in the beginning.

They don't teach you in school (or in most churches, even) about psychological and spiritual discernment. Little did I know I was "in love" with a covert narcissist, through no fault of her own. We're all damaged to a degree. However, I've always been proud of my adaptability and capacity for conscious living. Even though I wasn't doing enough for myself, and in a codependent dynamic with my family, I was aware of it all. The extreme anxiety and cognitive dissonance that ensued, with my so-called partner, threw me once again for a loop.

Warp speed ahead!

Love in the Time of Corona

January 12th, 2020. My father was once again hospitalized for even further complications. He almost didn't make it, more so than the previous stint. By this time I had developed a few meaningful bonds on social media, after deciding to get back on it despite being disillusioned by the Orwellian corruption. That night in the ER waiting room was when we first connected.

I don't know how to explain it but you felt familiar, like my soul had known you for aeons. We opened up to each other like long lost friends. It was a mutual exchange of hope and camaraderie. I was just glad to have made a friend during a difficult time.

Back to the future.

A Pandemic?!

The woman I was "with" had finally discarded me at the first signs of mass societal chaos and toilet paper shortages. You and I had become close at this point, and I had come to know your struggles and heartaches; the difficulties and joys of being a single mother, among other developmental influences. We had both realized that our souls were in sync, despite leading very different physical lives. Agreeing to keep in touch through means other than social media, you were a welcomed addition to what has now become a family or tribe of sorts, through meaningful and loving connections from halfway across the world. 2020 was a transformative year for all of us, and that's putting it modestly. We were yet again subjected to intense and profound shifts in perspective and consciousness:

Exponential healing that would change the course of our lives forever.

In Case No One Told You

We didn't fall in love. The door was open and we both walked in. A friendship, first and foremost, of Divine proportions!

In case no one ever told you, this is what you mean to me:

Your darkness is the soil that nurtures seeds of Love and Strength.

You are infinitely more than what has happened to you.

Motherhood is a high honor, duty, and privilege. You don't have to look outside of yourself--for what greater purpose is there? You are a portal of the Divine.

Three beautiful human beings that are infinitely lucky to have you as their Mama.

Strong bones build sturdy homes. Steadfast hearts will command the stars.

You and I aren't from around here. Isn't it about time we go Home?

Where there is a Heart, there is a Home. Where there is Love, there is Heaven on Earth.

Yes, home is where the heart is. So why do we look for our hearts outside of ourselves? Do we not have hearts beating within us at this very moment? The eternal Now.

Fate: the limiting perspective that things happen TO us. Destiny: The inner knowing that things happen FOR us, and that we always have the power to choose.

I wouldn't change a thing. Thank you for riding this wave with me.

Dance until you get there.

Solo-but-together dance parties. Our favorite shared memories.

It's a beautiful dance, this journey of souls, to Higher realms of Being.

She is the Journey. The destination is YOU. A note to Self.

And for the first time in a thousand years, I found my Self again.

Is it possible to let go and hold on at the same time? Of course. It's called Faith.

Faith is not belief, but a choice of actionable steps towards the unknown; its prerequisites are Will, courage, inner conviction, & unwavering resolve. You may not see what lies beyond the threshold of your path, but you can always assure your feet will land. Take the leap!

It wouldn't be a leap of faith if it wasn't frightening.

When we truly slay our dragons, they transform into titans of pure, unconditional Love.

Without Love, I AM nothing.

Full embodiment of the Purest Love is the ultimate Magnum Opus one could ever aspire to.

Every decision I make feels right because I'm finally doing it for me. Thank you for reminding me of that. Abundance over lack.

If God didn't want us to use magic, we wouldn't have been created with hearts.

Let your ego work for you.

Ego in and of itself helps to ground and anchor us to this reality. In the purest sense, it is identity. What most people refer to as "ego" is distorted by isms and schisms--false identities we attach to when we are not whole within. Let your ego work for you.

Love is never in vain.

True Love is only possible when we are not [subconsciously] seeking validation for our core wounds and traumas.

Boundaries are beautiful.

Healing is not linear. Time is an illusion.

If Love is for us, who can be against us?

Write the love letters you want to hear from the world around you.

All I can say about this journey is that it's about realizing the wholeness of who we already are. As much as we'd like it to be about union with another, that's never going to happen, at least not in the way we'd expect, so long as there are parts of ourselves that we are still neglecting, denying, or willfully ignoring. Parts that we've not had the courage to face and welcome back into our being with open arms. The shadow aspects of ourselves--both positive and negative, the ugly and the beautiful. How long are we going to deny the best parts of ourselves from seeing the light of day?

Intention without integration is a losing game.

I was running with hyenas because I identified with the scars that covered up the essence of who I truly AM.

We are moving into Higher heights, into new ways of being and relating--with ourselves, with others, and with the world.

Your story wasn't meant to be your fortress. Your story was meant to be your fuel!

Create the life you want to see in the world around you.

To cross the Rainbow Bridge, we must first build it. We are the bridge!

I am always with you. Alpha and Omega--the Beginning & End.

I love you without measure.

Thank you for reminding me of who I truly am and awakening me to my fullest potential. I am forever grateful.

Ma'at: Truth and Justice. Maahes: He who is True beside Her.

I see YOU. Thank you for seeing me, for believing in me without judgment. You are my best friend; you are my family; you are me. See you soon! xoxo