Families logo

Nose Hair

Wisdom lost in translation!

By Ewa RitchiePublished 3 years ago 3 min read
Like
Nose Hair
Photo by Braydon Anderson on Unsplash

Just like many other coming of age stories, my story starts the same. My family immigrated to Canada when I was six, at the height of 80’s glamour. Fluent in German and Polish, English was something they saw on television. They walked into Canada expecting so many things and learned that expectations are not always as they seem.

Over the years, the suggestions my mother would pass on were lost in translation. From colours to animal references, the initial words of wisdom would be obscured or misinterpreted as gibberish. This advice would still be very fruitful but sometimes mistimed. Understanding how culture entwined in the meaning was lost to a teenage girl trying to fit in. At what point would a chicken and a farmer anecdote fit with my need not to be laughed at by my budget wardrobe.

Other things were used as triggers for advice giving. Was it a rainy day? What time of year was it? Was today the day that you wore mismatched socks? These triggers were markers of change and disruption. Would this moment change the direction of your day, your year or even your life? Like wishes you make, sometimes you get more than you were expecting.

Like watching a sitcom on television, these moments of advice were given at the dinner table, mostly. Eating polish dumplings enrobed in thick beef gravy, you were too busy trying to get the food on your fork rather than paying attention to a parent’s moments of knowledge. This often led to rolling my eyes or, even worse, crossing my eyes. “You know when I was a girl,” she would start, “my mother told me that if you crossed your eyes, they would stay that way!”. Wait what? Hold on a second, my eyes could get stuck? Why was I just getting this information now? I could have been hurt or blinded myself by not knowing this information. Luckily, my mother never could prove that could actually happen but the threat hung over my head for decades to come.

Once puberty hit, the volume of advice got out of control. Stand up straight or you will always walk with a hump. Don’t chew on your pencil or your teeth will fall out. The best one was an American reference, always wear clean underwear in case you’re in an accident. None of these made sense. My mother was an educated woman, science was not a myth to her. She understood the power of nature and the strength of a good education but still, a pencil would change my life? Saying all that, it was one of those instances that was true. I have uneven teeth to this day, thirty years later.

But I do have a favourite. As many kids do, we tend to experiment with body parts. Your ears, your eyes and your nose. Stories have been told of plastic bricks, pencils and even small cars being rammed up kids noses. Its a trove of wonder! I believe my mother had heard of such things and tried everything to ensure that my nose was obstruction-free. She warned me that, “if you start putting things in your nose or even picking your nose, large nose hair will appear and you will never be able to get rid of them.” This stopped me in my tracks. Visions of Bigfoot hair coming out of my nose terrified me. From that moment forward, nothing was anywhere near my nose. Even when using tissue, when I had to blow my nose due to excessive amounts of snot, it was applied in a delicate and entertaining manner. Never touch the inside of my nose! Only later in life did I realise that one had nothing to do with the other. Fingers and noses could go together quite easily with no hair ever to be seen. That nose hair has never appeared but time will tell.

humanity
Like

About the Creator

Ewa Ritchie

A Canadian in Scotland with stories to tell ..

Reader insights

Be the first to share your insights about this piece.

How does it work?

Add your insights

Comments

There are no comments for this story

Be the first to respond and start the conversation.

Sign in to comment

    Find us on social media

    Miscellaneous links

    • Explore
    • Contact
    • Privacy Policy
    • Terms of Use
    • Support

    © 2024 Creatd, Inc. All Rights Reserved.