Married Women Should Not Listen to Single Friends

Changing values

Younger women today have different views on relationships, love and marriage than older generations. Even so, I share my story in the hopes that it will help someone who really wants to save their marriage. In my opinion, the one thing that wives should be careful of is seeking advise on their marriage from single friends. Keep your friendships separate from what goes on in the privacy of your home, and you will cut down on a lot of drama.

My mother and grandmother told stories about women who discussed their husbands with their female friends, and when the marriages fell apart, those friends ended up with the husband. If you ever watch crimes shows on television such as Till Death, Happily Never After, Love Kills, and For My Man, in a lot of cases someone ends up dead because the spouse and the best friend wanted them out of the way. That's pretty extreme, but still the common denominator was a female friend hanging out with the married couple.

Bad advice

I once worked a job where I went on the night shift, and when things were quiet the employees would talk. At that time my husband and I had been together for 17 years and married for 12. One co-worker was bragging about dating a married man and how much money he spent on her. Another woman chimed in with her tales of married men and various sexual acts. Two other women laughed and nodded in agreement and then one of them turned to me. She said she bet my husband was the only man I had been with and I needed to have some fun. I replied yes my husband was my one and only and I had no plans to cheat.

Another co-worker said that life was short and I needed to experience what it was like with other men and I just looked at her. I was stunned that these women were telling me to commit adultery. I thought of the tales my mom and grandma told and said to myself that if I were dumb enough to cheat on my spouse and come back and tell them, one of them would probably be the first to tell him, and if my marriage ended she might try to date him. The idea that women would actually try to break up a marriage really got next to me. Most vows back in the day ended with "What God has joined together, let no man put asunder." I wondered why people don't respect marriage as they once did?

Wrong motives

A young woman confided in me that her husband had begun staying out late and sleeping on the couch. She asked him to talk to her, and even suggested counseling. Instead he one day walked out on her and their three children. It later came out that he had been discussing his marriage at work and single female co-workers told him that he should not allow his wife to remain a stay at home mom. He listened to these jealous women who said that his wife was taking advantage of him, even though he chose to work two jobs and let her raise the children. It really was nobody's business what arrangement this young couple had, and now they are divorced.

There really is no way to know the motivation in someone's heart when they give advice. My mother divorced my father and later my step dad. She really had no clue about commitment and was always telling me if my husband did this or that, I should leave and did not have to stay in the marriage. If any couple truly desires to remain married, seek advise from couples who have weathered the test of time. Your friends and co-workers who are single really cannot advise you on how to maintain your relationship. Be careful of crying on their shoulders and discussing your spouse because what you tell other women may come back on you and end your marriage.