I used to subscribe to the “Claire Dunphy School of Parenting.” The one she unapologetically shared in Season 2, Episode 2:
Your parents brought you into this world. They cared for you, fed you, and clothed you. They made sure your homework was done, attended all your dance recitals and sporting events. They were there for you through every important milestone. Losing that first tooth, getting your driver's license, graduations, and even your first heartbreak. They were there for you when you got married, and shared the joys of you giving them grandchildren.
When I was very young, I adored my parents and looked up to them so much. Over time I started to see all the lame quirks, and I found them to be quite simple people. I would later realize that human experiences can change a person’s perspective.
When I was four years old, about the time any other kid would be bragging about being four and a half, I was told by my parents that my mother was pregnant, I knew what this was because my cat had already had two litters and my parents were always honest with me. I was, unlike many of my friends who had siblings, excited.
Presently, I am looking back to years lost in my life. Chunks of time that I can not remember, some wishing I could forget. I was a reactive person, meaning not thinking about anything before I had time to make a rational, thought out plan. This on more than one occasion has landed me places most people see on television and confusion sets in. I've seen the dirtiest intentions of people who claimed to be a close friend. The wheels turning in the mind of a manipulator trying for another big score while standing side by side pretending to give a fuck about someone while leading them into a negative situation. Only pretending to console the hurt while pulling the strings in the background to benefit from the trap they set for you to walk into initially. The conniving slick plan of a person who has been a con artist simply waiting for your demise. Circling like a starved desert vulture, waiting for the right time to pounce on a carcass that has been picked over by bigger, stronger creatures. Creatures that have just taken the good parts and left this shell laying there with no regard to the respect that once beating heart deserved. A quick dive towards the dirt, gliding to the nearest spot with easy access to feast and flee when satisfied.
I had a moment with my almost three year old grandson yesterday.
The late great master Leonard Cohen from 'Democracy'.. “from the homicidal bitchin' that goes down in every kitchen to determine who will serve and who will eat."
FACT: Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the U.S.