How To Cope When You Hate Your In-Laws

Not everyone likes their in-laws, but sometimes there's no avoiding them!

How To Cope When You Hate Your In-Laws

Nobody gets along with everybody. It's human nature to dislike or even hate someone and sometimes that someone is an in-law (or in-laws). But hating your in-laws can make for some very difficult and uncomfortable situations unless you handle things properly.

When you are trying to keep the peace and get along with your in-laws, for the most part, you are not really doing it for them, you are doing it for the sake of family harmony or for your spouse/partner. Always keep this in mind when you are dealing with difficult in-laws, it's a good motivator to keep it shut and act like an adult.

Dealing with dreaded in-laws isn't easy or fun, but it is possible with some patience and creativity.

Figure Out Why You Don't Get Along

It might be obvious why you hate your in-laws, it might not be, sometimes personalities clash and you just don't get along with someone, and that's not a crime. Other times there is a clear reason for any animosity. But figuring out why your in-laws are annoying you quite so much can be a key to gaining some perspective and moving forward.

Talk to Your In-Laws

This one only really works if both of you know that you don't like each other. So unless you are certain they don't like you, don't tell them that you don't like the! It could be a nasty surprise which causes more problems than it solves! But if you know you don't get along with your in-laws, then talk to each other about it, make it clear that you need to be civilized for the sake of the family and try to agree to be grown ups about it.

Consider Your Partner's Reaction

If you think that talking about your in-laws in a negative light will cause problems, don't do it. I would not normally encourage people to hide their true feelings about something from their partner, but people can be very touchy and over-sensitive about their parents and it could cause some serious issues. Realistically, you need to deal with the in-law situation without involving them. On the other hand, if your partner has problems with them too, then this is an ideal time to present a united front and deal with the situation together, it will hopefully make you stronger as a couple.

Avoid Your In-Laws

Organically, of course, you have to make it look accidental, like you just keep missing them. If it doesn't and they notice you are avoiding them, the in-laws will become suspicious and start asking awkward questions, and believe me, they are awkward.

Don't Ask for an Argument

If there are certain topics that cause friction with the difficult in-laws, then try to avoid them when the family is together. This may not seem like the healthiest solution, but if it helps you to get along then you should try it.

Vent to Someone Else

Not having someone to talk to about something that is upsetting you can be very isolating, particularly if your partner is very close to their parents. Find someone you can unload your frustrations about your in-laws to, even if it is just an online forum; venting helps to release the pressure and minimizes the risk of you snapping at anyone.

Be Nice

Try to see things from your in-laws point of view, look at your situation from their perspective and think about how it would make you feel. If you feel any kindness towards them over this then cling onto it and remember that feeling the next time you are together.

Anything for a Quiet Life

Dealing with in-laws and getting along with them can sometimes be necessary for a harmonious life, so if this is something that you want then you are going to have to work hard at it and figure out how to go along to get along.

adviceextended family
Claire Raymond
Claire Raymond
Read next: Understanding the Effects of Addiction on the Family
Claire Raymond

I have been a writer for 14 years now, I'll figure it out one day.

See all posts by Claire Raymond