Confessions of a Hot Mess Mom
"I want to always be transparent with my readers, so there is something I must confess."
Hey Y'all, Hey!
I want to always be transparent with my readers, so there is something I must confess.
I AM A HOT MESS MOM!
I am always late for EVERYTHING! When we finally do arrive, we stumble out of my suburban like a bunch of drunk clowns. The boys are normally swatting at me while I try to tame their hair that looks like it hasn't seen a brush since the day they were born. As if the bed head isn't bad enough, they normally have some kind of wild-colored food mustache to accompany it. I have used my tongue and thumb more often than not to scrub those mysterious mustaches because where the hell is a baby wipe when you need it?!?
My expectations that I had before having children have gone completely out of the window. Despite what my Facebook newsfeed may look like, I am no Carol Brady.
My house is always in disarray. I have OCD about dirt, so it's never dirty, it is just a hot mess. There are toys EVERYWHERE. Seriously, if you look hard enough, I bet you'd find little army men in my vents. Unless of course, company is coming over. In which case, I scream at my children for 45 minutes to get their bedrooms clean while I dash around like a madwoman getting what I can picked up. With five minutes left to clean, I just start stashing stuff in closets and drawers.
I would lose my hands if they weren't attached to me. I was gifted an Apple watch this year and it has saved me from asking people to call me every 10 minutes because I lost my phone. If only they had an app for my glasses and keys.
I live on reheated COFFEE!
On occasion, I will go on a health kick and we will eat nothing but organic, gluten, dye-free, or whatever the hell the new food trend is; BUT, most of the time, ravioli, chicken nuggets, and PB&J keep my kids alive. I am a great cook and we do enjoy a great deal of home-cooked meals at my kitchen table. During those meals, you can usually hear me bribing my children with dessert and candy.
I cuss A LOT, and have a swear jar that could probably pay off all of my debt if I actually gave the kids a quarter for every time I said a bad word.
I wear a messy bun 99.8% of the time because styling my hair takes time, and I'd much rather spend that time doing something else.
I have learned to dress my yoga pants up or down to fit whatever occasion life throws my way. They are the only thing this less-than-perfect mom bod feels 100% comfortable in.
I despise laundry! I don’t remember the last time that I was caught up on it. I usually have six baskets of clean clothes sitting beside my bed and I am famous for saying, "I'll fold them tomorrow." I just never specify which tomorrow.
Sometimes, I need five minutes of peace and quiet, and I am not too ashamed to admit that I use tablets AND television as a babysitter.
Sometimes, I hide in the bathroom so that I can have 10 minutes alone. It usually doesn't work because apparently the bathroom is no longer considered a place of privacy once you become a mom.
I wear my parenting mistakes like a badge of honor. Usually, its some type of food or dirt stain on the front of my shirt, but who's counting anyway?
This one is a real doozie...
Sometimes, I don't think I like being a mom. I question if I am a good enough almost daily. I fuss too much. I am short-tempered and I yell a lot. Some days, I feel like I am failing at this whole mom thing.
My biggest fear is not being enough for my boys, I wish I had more patience and less anxiety. I’m pretty sure that I am judged by other moms constantly, and I don’t care.
I may be a hot mess express, but I wake up every morning and make an effort to be the best mom I can be. I make sure to tell them I love them a thousand times a day. I snuggle them, hug them, and kiss them any chance I get. I love them unconditionally!
So, from one hot mess mom to the rest of the moms out there, STOP BEING SO HARD ON YOURSELF. None of us are getting out of here alive. Be yourself, and stop reading all of the stupid "How-To" articles that make you feel inadequate. Enjoy your life and those babies, and on the days when you don't want to enjoy either, use the television as a babysitter and attempt that 10 minutes alone in the bathroom. I promise that even on the days that your children don't like you and you don't like yourself, YOU are ENOUGH and you will always be their favorite mom!
Until next time,