A Messenger and a Stone

The last couple of months have been trying to say the least, and the last few days have been an accumulation of faking smiles, holding my tongue, and acting like everything is just peachy, and keeping the reasons for all that to myself, that is until the 'shit happens' stuff happened! When I dropped my phone at the end of an already 'shit happens' filled day, and my screen shattered, holding it all in was no longer an option, and I was all but ready to just hit the road and not look back. As it goes Grief and Despair, remind me that they are ever so close and will stay by my side like a loyal friend always.

The tragic loss of my youngest child, killed by his so called friends who then covered up the truth, and law enforcement's mishandling of the investigation and their willful misconduct that deprived my son of the Justice that was promised by both the State of Idaho and the United States constitutions has devastated my family, my stability, my career, and my life. The legal system that claims to be impartial and uphold Justice failed miserably at both and revealed to me a system that has interests other than pursuing Truth and Justice for 'We' the people.

As you can probably tell, my present outlook is quite bleak and dismal. But, once upon a time, I had hope that moved me forward, belief that me strong, and faith whose light I could always see even in what seemed the darkest of times. Now, all of that exists with the dragons and knights written into the fairytales that are read to children, and I fear the memory of my son will soon follow.

Sitting alone starring into nothingness and wanting to have nothing to do with anyone or anything physically or virtually when all the sudden I looked down at the shattered screen on my phone and saw a messenger chat bubble that I did not immediately recognize and went to swipe it off the screen but instead of dismissing it the chat message opened and I immediately saw the name of my son ‘Seamus’ written in the message and immediately my focus was now on the message. I cried out, “ Oh! My God!” “Oh, My God!” almost disbelieving my own eyes and read the message again and then again just to be sure I read it correctly. This is what was in the message that took my breath away;

Hi Michelle. How are you doing? I was thinking about you and your family today. And wanted to reach out and see how you are doing.

I also have something that Seamus and Conn made a long time about when we lived by each other and I think you’d really like to have it. It’s a cement block and it has their hand prints in it when the concrete was wet with there names on it. With a bunch of other cool things you guys put on it. Thought it would be good for you to have ❤️

I messaged back and asked when we could meet up. He gave me his address and within a half an hour I was walking to an address which was only a few blocks away from my house. It just happened to be next door to my Grandpa and Grandma Divin's and it is a house where a childhood friend of my both of my sons had lived for many years.

I knocked on the door and recognized Anthony who had been a childhood friend of my boys and a student of mine at Franklin Middle School. I met his two dogs, one of which was a rescue dog, and a young lady, whose name is Faith.

The stone was sitting on a table and when I saw it I said “ I remember this! I remember making this with my kids! It has all if thier names and handprints on it! I always wondered what happened to this!” with tears filling my eyes.

Anthony told me his grandma had given it to him because he knew the boys. He wrote to me on messenger because he thought I would want it. He had cleaned up the stone and took a picture and video of it and sent it to me. I said thank you with tears in my eyes and gave him a hug saying thank you over and over again.

That evening as I walked from his house holding the stone close to my chest and as tight as I could I cried.

That evening, I was given more than I could explain in words, but I want this young man to know he showed me hope when I had none (especially in his rescuing of a dog who had been so abused was almost dead gave that dog a home and the scars of abuse are almost invisible now), belief ( in taking his younger brother in and believing in him), and he introduced me to Faith, who I gave a big hug to and told her thank you.

Thank you Anthony. You are one that makes this world a better place and you showed to me that hope, belief, and faith still exist!