Why Frosh Week Was Awesome and Showed Me Why High School Sucked

Frosh week or O Week, whatever you may call it, is the university way of welcoming students to campus by showing them all that’s available to them in the most hyped up fashion possible. Now say what you will, but my experience was truly astounding. I met the most genuinely welcoming people I’ve ever encountered, and was able to step up and out of my comfort zone because as soon as I set foot on campus I knew I was home. I know starting a new chapter in life can seem daunting and literally paralyzing. If you read on though, I promise you’ll have an awesome first week at university, hopefully a better high school experience, or if neither of those apply to you perhaps you’ll get something out of this anyway.

If you didn’t particularly love high school much like myself you’re reading the right post. High school for me was like a huge rollercoaster that indeed had its ups, but often felt like I was plummeting to my death in a sketchy, open-air cart, trying my best not to look like a basket case because of my whacko emotions. HOWEVER, that was because of many factors that were nearly entirely my fault, which I have noticed and dealt with in my own ways. Like thinking popularity exists or is important in any way. Funny joke, man. Yes, from the outside, some people can seem pretty cool and high up on some so called food chain, but you come to realize that just like you, they are people with flaws and fears. Maybe unlike you though, they learned A: How to hide their insecurities well and are still actually just sad, scared people (which I don’t recommend being.) OR B: How to be truly comfortable in their own skin and be genuinely happy people (which I highly recommend being.)

I think why high school sucks for a lot of people is because of all the groups, student councils, and cliques that seem so important. Even in 2019, especially at a smaller school, it’s easy to not be yourself. Or like me, to become a sad watered down version of yourself, but still feel like you don’t belong. I spent a lot of my high school days resenting genuinely decent people because I was just jealous of their “popularity,” and being ungrateful for the friends I actually had. I was jealous because, even though it was subconscious, I was not being fully honest with myself. I wasn’t being the me I really wanted to be. And I think that’s common with not just teens, but most people. It’s not even intentional and it’s crazy how it happens. My understanding is that I got really distracted by things I wanted to think were great but really weren’t. I wasn’t living my truth and doing the things I really loved. Actually, that’s not entirely true. The things I did were all things I’m literally doing at school now, but there was too much external pressure on me to do said things. The rebel I am inside hated that I had to do things, instead of learning to want to do them and realizing I get to do them. So I tried to distract myself with other things. I don’t understand either. I’m complicated.

It’s really weird to actually talk about this because the activities I did and people I spent time with were wonderful. Yet something was off. I still don’t know why my life “flow” if you will, was so off kilter very often, but I know that I just wasn’t embracing who I was. I lacked confidence. I constantly criticized myself, didn’t celebrate all the victories I had. As a performer, people just assume you’re outgoing and happy. Not a chance son. It was usually quite the opposite. I could hide on stage as a character. That’s literally performing: not being yourself.

So I took some time. I dealt with some issues that were deeply tucked away in me. Created a couple issues in the meantime, but I acknowledged what was really bothering me. I became more aware of every single thing in my life. Little did I know, I was basically already trying to do this before but like that half-assed way people go to the gym for a month then stop. But sometimes. Just sometimes if those people realise the good it was doing them, they keep at it. They listen to their own advice, and the advice of others (which for me is a hell of a lot of good stuff,) and eventually they get the results they need.

So here I am now. Once again writing a cheesy blog post spewing out a bunch of shit I realized about myself… but with a twist this time. I’ve realized I’ve said, done, thought some shitty things. It hasn't been pretty. However, I’ve also said, done, and thought many great things. And I know from my past that the latter side of me is better. I’m choosing to embrace who I am, and to quit lying. Lying about who I am and what I want to do with my life. I’m Zach and I’m a human. It’s not that complicated. You’re you and you’re a human. It’s not that complicated.

So listen here you spring chicken. Any new thing is a chance to redefine what it means to be you. If you don’t like the way your life is going, maybe it’s time for a change. Or maybe it’s time to accept who you’ve always been. So get out there, be bold, be you, and don’t apologize. Just don’t be a dick. That’s all you need to live in this world.