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When Being Black Isn't Enough

A middle school teacher's rude awakening

By Xavia JohnsonPublished 4 years ago 6 min read
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I remember the stale look on my friends' faces when I told them that I wanted to become a teacher. I remember the dry response my mother made when I told her the same. This was no surprise to anybody that knew me. Not because they always envisioned me to be a teacher, but because I was as flighty and impulsive as can be. One day I wanted to be a counselor. I remember wanting to attend hair school. I can't forget about the time I was determined to be an esthetician. So, of course I would go to college for four and a half years majoring in Journalism and Mass Communication, only to decide during my super-senior year that I wanted to become a teacher instead.

My motivation stemmed from witnessing the disdain from reading that my younger cousins had. It downright baffled me. I was the kid who started reading at three. The kid who gave herself homework during the summer so that I wouldn't lose anything. The kid who enjoyed looking up words in the dictionary. As an adult, I realized that of all the things that people can take from a person, knowledge isn't one of them. Therefore, teaching had to be my way of giving back and helping to develop sharp minds, especially in minority children.

I entered a lateral entry program called TEACH Charlotte approximately four months after I graduated from North Carolina A&T State University. I was so excited about embarking on this journey. The main mission was to close the achievement gap in the high poverty areas in a major city. This aligned with my personal mission because as a minority, I feel obligated to ensure that children who look like me are able to rise above the institutionalized discrimination with which we collectively face. I soaked up all of the strategies and practices that I could. I made sure to keep in mind what the instructors would always tell us. "Building relationships comes first. You will get the content later." During the course of the program, we were instructed to go on job interviews. I was so nervous about not getting a job come August, so I accepted the first offer that I got.

This school was very affluent in the community, the opposite of my mission. Again, for fear of not being employed, I made an impulsive decision. My experience there taught me so much, such as speaking up for myself and not allowing anyone to dictate my outcomes without my permission. Also, I was able to see how minority children were treated. I recall a moment when the dance teacher's son stabbed a kid in the hand with a fork and got a day of ISS. Black boys with attitudes got multiple days of ISS and even handcuffed for walking away when being yelled at by their teacher or the security guard. Talk about disheartening moments.

During my second year teaching, we got a new principal, and he most definitely had a hidden agenda. Ultimately, he got his wish, which was to get me to leave and hire someone working at the school from which he came. It was so unfortunate because he used punitive tactics to create unnecessary stress in my life. I can say this confidently because my observations proved me to be a good teacher. This was a perfect opportunity for me, though, because I was able to apply to schools where I felt like they would actually want me. I'm very intuitive and good with picking up vibes, so I know where I'm not wanted.

I worked at a different school in the city for four years, a Title I school where 100% of the scholars had free lunch, and the scholars primarily were minorities who lived in high poverty and high crime areas throughout the city of Charlotte. This school felt like home. I grew the most as an educator here.

Nevertheless, a personal situation arose, and I ended up relocating to Virginia. I was on the same mission to make an impact in the world of children who look similar to me, and I was faced with the biggest challenge of my life. At this school, I was disrespected from day one. These children couldn't care less that I was black. They thought I was lame because I loved learning. They found no connection to me at all initially. For the first month of school, I had headaches, and I would cry profusely when I had a moment alone. I'm pretty sure depression was creeping back into my life. I could not understand why they were not receiving my approach. I never had this issue before. I often found myself entertaining conversations with other teachers where we complained about them and said all types of things regarding their behavior. Over time, however, I realized that I had to give them something more.

I acquired a little more respect over time when I showed them more of who I was and that I actually cared. It took a lot of work, but my slight insecurities were what they positively responded to for some reason. They could relate more than ever. I had been bullied for being gap-toothed, quiet, and far from wealthy. I told them some of my life stories, and they realized that I was a survivor. Maybe not from detrimental situations that they had witnessed in their young lives, but in different ways that proved my resilience. Additionally, there were things about me that made me different from them. I was able to show them new things, and I allowed myself to be a student to their differences. I made it a point to use more real life situations to connect to literature from other walks of life. I used, and still use music to reach them, as I am still working at that aforementioned school.

I know someone will think, "Okay. That's not a black thing, though." Obviously there are always exceptions. 21st Century learners in general appreciate music, technology, and real life connections in the classroom. What I'm saying is that educators in general have to be aware of how to properly reach minority scholars. This includes myself, someone who thought that just because I looked like them, they would accept me right away. I may have my own misconceptions about race and education, but there is one hill I would die on, and that's the fact that there is institutionalized discrimination in education. Think resources. Think sports teams uniforms and training facilities. Think PTA's and the desire for parent involvement in general. I know, I know. A lot of that is a socio-economic issue, but we know the root of said issue.

There should be more cultural awareness training for teachers, and in effort to truly close the gap in education, no matter the color or background, teachers need to make sure that they really care about minority children. Leave preconceived notions at the door. There are always reasons behind "behavior problems". It's the dirty work in a thankless profession, but we shape their lives. We become their inner voices. Just like I was told in my lateral entry program. Building relationships comes first, and sometimes, relationships are built from differences, not similarities.

teacher
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About the Creator

Xavia Johnson

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