Teachers Will Return to the Classroom

From spit wads to shooters and now the Killer Cough

I remember my first year of teaching 35 years ago. Entering the classroom, I feared my youthful appearance would be a barrier to gaining respect, so I created a sophisticated style that I hoped made me look older. Oh, to have that problem now.

Dressed in a conservative skirt, collared blouse, high heels, and pantyhose (remember those?) I hoped to broadcast the message, I am an adult. Unfortunately, the limitations of technology in the 1980s transmitted an ambiguous message interspersed with static. In reality, I was a kid, not much older than the students, dressed in high heels.

My journey through the first year proved difficult, riddled with boulders that tripped me up and stood in my way — probably because of those heels. Years later while drinking coffee with the school counselor from that time, we laughed as she shared her memories. “You were a shitty teacher that first year.” Wow, the truth hurt but it remained the truth.

In the beginning

Back then, at the end of each day, I allotted time to pick up the scraps of paper on the floor, peal the spit wads off the walls, and remove the pencils from the ceiling. For the naïve reader, let me explain. Students threw pencils in the air to see if they could stick them. Like playing darts. Somedays the ceiling resembled an acupuncture patient. It amazed me how students caused so much destruction while I stood beside them; it’s not like I sat at my desk drinking coffee. In fact, the evidence of blisters on my toes and feet proved I seldom sat down. (Damn high heels!)

As time went by

Years later my attention turned from spit wads to new security issues. Between classes, we stood in the halls monitoring student safety. I don’t remember a class at the university titled, “Using the Body as a Human Shield 101, but believe it would be beneficial. We listened for threats and negative comments. Once when a fight broke out, I yelled, “Stop!” made loud noises to defuse the situation and finally stepped between the flying fists to interrupt the altercation, only to receive a blow to my cheek. Two girls didn’t realize I existed or had entered their battleground. My first and only school fight, I lost; however, when the culprits were suspended, I felt vindicated. It helped when my mother called and complained.

The turbulent times

Security threats became critical when school shootings became a reality. Interesting choice of words because it wasn’t the schools that were in harm’s way; it was students who were shot, wounded and killed. I wonder if the public response would have been different if we had called them child shootings. Oops, this is supposed to have a humorous slant and that’s not funny. Sorry.

In those turbulent times, the four-minute passing periods required choices: check that the outside doors remained locked from intruders, go to the bathroom or stand by the door and welcome the students so they felt secure and ready to learn in a welcoming learning environment. Usually, I would check the doors, return to my guard station, and cross my legs. I often wonder if teachers have more bladder infections than other professionals.

The new normal

Now, 2020 presents a new concern, the Killer Cough. Similar to another assassin of our time, the murder hornet, the killer cough sneaks up on its prey. It resembles other species (such as a sneeze, wheeze, hack, hawk, or bark) so is often ignored or seen as non-threatening when, in fact, it produces negative medical conditions possibly leading to death.

Teachers who return to the classroom must protect themselves, peers, and the students from the effects of the Killer Cough by arming ourselves with masks, sanitizer, cleaning products and strategies for social distancing. Many suggest investigating the props used in the hit movie, The Boy in the Plastic Bubble.

Educators adapt. We grow eyes in the back of their heads, acquire the ability to maneuver better than Keanu Reeves in The Matrix, cultivate enhanced hearing and develop hardened hearts to combat youthful negativity. We will acclimate to the new normal, adjust to the changing needs of society, modify expectations as well as our approach to instruction.

For the love of the children

Teaching is a public service job. Teachers choose the profession to share their love of learning and support children. Few, if any, have ever decided to become a teacher for the money.

Just like in the past, teachers will tread water while we learn to swim. This August, we are ready to jump into the deep end. It is what we do, for the children.