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My Best Inebriated Essay

Silencing Doubt

By Amanda McNeillPublished 6 years ago 5 min read
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My professor told me to drink.

Now, that’s not to say that he was encouraging alcoholism or trying to influence a room full of young, impressionable minds, but he did suggest that us students take a drink. Or several.

The reason he said this was because of the time of the semester — it was time to explain the last assignment before break. The big one: the three-thousand or more word essay that needed to be handed in by the end of the first semester. It was a full-year course, which meant that there was an exam at the very end of the year and one big-ass essay just before winter holidays to throw one massive wrench in our lives. However, I found myself pretty lucky to have one less exam while still earning six credits toward my necessary hundred and twenty for graduation.

The fewer anxiety and insomnia incusing exams, the better; in my opinion, at least. I would much rather spend my time slaving at my laptop to write an essay, no matter the length, than study to the point of possible brain-damage and caffeine overdose — all of which leads up to the grand finale of “oh crap, I don’t remember anything.”

I was in university for a Bachelor of Fine Arts, so that means a lot of studio art classes like painting and drawing, and very few studies courses that spawned my addiction to coffee. The longest essay that I had to worry about writing was a 3,500 word requirement — and that was the minimum.

The day came that the professor was explaining what the requirements for the essay were — there weren’t many to worry about aside from word count and validity — and the one thing that he deeply encouraged to all of those above the legal age was to drink.

In my honest opinion, this man was a genius and a bit of a nut-job, but he is still my favourite professor after four years of exhausting courses. He proposed that the students who were able to should drink a bit before they start working on their essay; only their rough draft, mind you. He wasn’t encouraging everyone to get drunk the night before it was due and whip out a slurred, half-coherent opinion piece. He was suggesting that we all drink just enough that you don’t overthink; you don’t second-guess every other sentence, or worry about how much you’ve written and if you have enough points for your argument.

He wanted us to relax, to set aside the panic that accompanied writing such a long essay and to just write.

Write for the sake of writing.

I can’t speak for everyone, but it definitely worked for me.

As much as I prefer an essay over an exam, that does not mean I am a fan of writing them. I love to write — just not essays.

Writing this essay was a drastically different experience and I honestly wonder how I hadn’t thought of this before. I’m prone to overthinking when it comes to essays, especially when it is not one that involves actual research. This essay was a comparative essay between two out of several fantasy books that we had read earlier on in the semester. Comparison is a blessing and a curse; I enjoy expressing my own thoughts in an intellectual manner, yet I always panic about whether or not I am expressing those thoughts correctly.

I decided to give what the professor had suggested a try and nursed a few glasses of liquor and ice before I finally sat down to write, all the while thinking about the two books I had chosen.

And everything flowed out of my brain freely and unrestricted, much like how I tend to blurt out whatever I may be thinking after I have a bit of alcohol in my system. Goodbye second-guessing, hello blissful aloofness. I just typed and typed, not once stopping to reread my work to make sure that it was in order, or that things flowed nicely, or that my "hook" for each new point was effective enough.

I did not overthink.

I wrote whatever came to mind, almost as though I was having the discussion aloud and my fingers were automatically typing everything out.

When I finished, I closed my laptop and went to make myself dinner. I did not look at the essay until after work the following day, when my mind was sober and awake — thanks to a large cup of coffee — and I was able to see it not from the aloof, relaxed perspective but instead from the analytical and focused one.

I aced that essay, and that’s not something I have ever done before. Usually my essay’s receive a decent mark, but this was the first time that I ever succeeded in getting an A on a written assignment — like I said earlier, I was an art student, so my A’s usually went toward my art projects. I did not waste time on second-guessing myself or fretting over having every word perfect and every thought in just the right order.

There’s only one other time that I have been so relaxed when working, and that is when I listen to music; classical and orchestra are my art/writing muse. Writing stories in my free time is always more enjoyable and natural for me when I’m listening to music. Your words flow alongside the notes, giving a rhythm that I can’t seem to break once I’m overwhelmed by the music. I can’t say that listening to music will help with an essay the same as alcoholically releasing inhibitions, but there are many ways to complete something in a fun and free-flowing manner.

My best essay was written while I was tipsy-drunk, and my best stories have been written while I was half-conscious of the words my fingers were typing out, distracted by the lilting sounds of whatever orchestra I’ve selected on my playlist.

Sometimes, a quiet, controlled environment is not what’s best for students and workers. As a previous retail worker, I can vouch that my work life would be much more enjoyable if I was able to listen to my earbuds as I was stocking or cleaning — the static-filled radio and constant commercial breaks is just not the same. As an art student, I am confident that the creativity of another feeds my creativity in amazing ways. For example, what would be a movie be without the music chosen or written to accompany it?

Overthinking and second-guessing is my worst enemy, but I am finding interesting and entertaining ways to combat it. I’m not telling anyone to drink to be better or become an alcoholic for any reason, but sometimes the strict, silent school system isn’t always the best way to go.

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About the Creator

Amanda McNeill

Amanda McNeill began her love of writing in the fanfiction community, honing her skill with the hopes of following her passions for writing in the future.

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