Do Not Give Up Until You Are Proud

I am originally from a small town in Southeast of Minas Gerais-Brazil.Both my mother and father were illiterate and could not give us a fair education.

I started going to school when I was 5 years young because I wanted to take advantage of the free breakfast/lunch given there. I was always very shy as I was very poor comparing to my fellow colleagues. However, it did not stop me from achieving good marks at school.

My six brothers and sisters did not finish high school or even primary school because there was no pressure from my parents but I was different. I had a vision that education was the key to escape poverty.

I managed to finish high school when I was 18 years old and had to get a job in the fields to help my parents with the bills and food. I remember when my father used to collect left overs from a local butcher so we had something to eat. It was very agonising for me to see that.

I did not like the house that we lived in either and I recall crying in rainy days because it used to leak when raining. To make it worse, we had one large mattress made out of palm tree leaves dreaded together and we shared it.

Anyways, with my first salary from working in the sugar cane fields, I bought my first mattress and paid in instalments as this is how the lower class live in Brazil. I was very happy and felt accomplished.

One day I told my mother that I had to leave to find my way out of poverty. I was not unhappy with my life because I did not know much about what the world had to offer. I used to watch soap opera at one of my neighbour's house and had an idea of the outside world.

When I was 20 yo, I decided to move away to another small town near Porto-Seguro-Bahia to find a better job but it did not work so I went back to Nanuque and got a job in a slaughter house called Frisa.

I was earning enough to help my family but it was never enough to go to University so I gave up on further study and just kept working. Years passed and nothing changed. I could never afford to save up for anything.

One day a friend of mine Ricardo invited me to go to a metropolitan city in called Vitória-Espirito Santo, I remember that I was 24 and very naive. I did not have a girlfriend and my neighbours used to say that I was ''viado'' meaning faggot.

Ricardo was the only person that I trusted at the time so I moved away with him to Vitória. When we arrived there, I lived in a very dangerous favela where I saw people shot dead on streets. We lived in a rented room that was full of rats and used to get flooded when was raining.

The best thing was that I had the privilege to see the coast for the first time and go go out and do stuff. I got a job as a laminator at Fortlev a producer of water boxes.

I was earning sufficient to pay the rent, send money to my parents and save a little. Ricardo also got a job at the same company but 1 year later one of his aunty's invited him to go to New Zealand in 2005. He went to New Zealand and I stayed there in Vitória alone.

He never forgot about me and invited me to visit. I was so excited about the opportunity that I started saving for a ticket. It took me 2 years to save $4000 reais which is equivalent of a ticket to New Zealand.

I finally managed to buy a ticket and go to New Zealand in November 2007. When I arrived at the immigration, they assumed that I was going to stay there illegally and did not let me enter. So they took me to a room and asked me questions that I could not understand. Off course I could not speak English and got very nervous.

I managed to call Ricardo and he explained everything so finally after 2 hours of questioning they let me enter in New Zealand.

I started meeting new people and self-learning English online. I learnt the basics and got a job as a kitchen hand. I know it was ilegal to work but I had to.

I had a return ticket but I did not want to go back to Brazil. I did not understand the immigration process to apply for work visa or anything. Fortunately, I came out and was dating a guy for the first time and he researched and found a way to sponsor me.

Next I realised that I needed to study English but could not afford. Years were gone and I learnt the language on my own. After a while in NZ, I had numerous jobs in hospitality and kept helping my family back home. I was happy, however I had a dream to go to University.

In 2012, Ricardo had to go back to New Zealand as his visa expired. He was very sad. I was unhappy with all the situation and could not help him. I had my hands tied-up. He went back home and got caught in a cultural shock and developed depression. Without any help, he committed suicide and I left a massive empty space in my heart.

I went to Auckland University of Technology (AUT) in 2013 and enrolled myself in Business School. Unfortunately they refused my application because I did not meet the language requirements for academic study.

I went home very upset and felt like a failure. I did not give up though, I kept self studying English online. In 2014, I went back to AUT and asked if there was anything I could do to be accepted in Business School. The university coordinator asked me to sit in a room and write an essay about 'New Zealand being the best place to live and explain why'.

I did it very nervously and gave it to her. She read and said: Where did you learn your English and what school did you go to?

I said quietly, I learned on my own. She was very surprised and congratulated me. Although, my English was not academic yet so she asked me if I wanted to go on a foundation course, Certificate in English for Academic Study. If I passed in 4 papers with an average of B or higher I could go to Business School.

I accepted the offer and studied hard. One semester later from February to July, the results came and I passed in all 4 papers with B+. I was so proud of myself and started Business School straight away.

I was already 31 when I started Uni, but I did fit in very well. I chose double majors in Management and Business Information Systems. I thought that a bit of technology would be beneficial with my management skills. The course was difficult, I even developed anxiety I think.

I had sleepless nights, fear of not passing and becoming a total failure. I liked it so much that I did summer school in 2014 and 2015. When I next realised, I was achieving my dream. I even finished 1 semester before thanks to summer school and my eager to grow personally and professionally.

I finally did it guys, I graduated last year in December 2016 and in the same day I had my New Zealand citizenship ceremony. It was 2 ceremonies of a lifetime. Now I am living in London with the love of my life and my message to you is:

Do not give up until you are proud!