Can You Say, "A W K W A R D"?

I'd like to share three experiences where a former teacher did something that made me feel uncomfortable.

In high school, a young physical education teacher asked us to dress in the school’s required black one piece swim suit and walk in front of our female classmates. I was short, fat and under-developed. We were asked to critique each other’s physical attributes. Can you say “awkward”!! After the first few classes went through this process, there was a parent uproar and the process was stopped. Thank God! I have never gotten over that humiliating squid in my stomach.

Another time, a high school teacher passed out “food” from a store-bought bag of “snacks”. He would not tell us what the food was until the next day. This was a comparative cultures class, and he was conveying the effect that an ethnocentric attitude can have on a person. The next day he announced that we had eaten fried caterpillars. Several students left the class to throw up. When they returned, he announced that they were not caterpillars at at, but fried rice. He went further to say that it had been more than 12 hours since they had eaten it, that it had already been digested and would not have affected the students stomachs’ at that time. His point was made: ethnocentricity is in the mind of the beholder. (ethnocentricity is the attitude or belief that one’s culture is better or superior to another culture; ie eating caterpillars or insects is practiced in other cultures, but generally not in the United States. Believing that it is not acceptable to eat caterpillars and that it will make one ill, is in the person’s state of mind.)

I became a teacher, and I strive NOT to humiliate or make my students feel awkward in any way. I mind my p's and q's as well as my PC's, no matter how much they change. I am bothered by one incidence that happened over 15 years ago. I still search for meaning in a two second, one line sentence.

I was the science laboratory teacher at an urban city school in the midwest. Many of the children had never been to camp, let alone a camp in the winter. The day's activities included casting animal tracks in plaster when we found them in the snow. Just as we had entered the woods, there was a flash of lightening and a clap of thunder. Our students did not need any more encouragement to head back to an activity hall. The camp owners urged us to return inside until given the all clear from the storm.

The other teacher, a twenty-something, young handsome, blonde guy and I went to the game room. The third teacher, an older female, had disappeared without a word. Later she was found sound asleep in a bunk in a cabin. The kids dragged out a ping pong table and a few board games. Another group of students began to play music on a player. I was keeping an eye on the game playing kids and happened to glance over my shoulder. I saw a group of girls taking turns sitting on and in his lap, "dancing" their bums to the music as well as rubbing his shoulders. I slowly moved toward him and whispered, "I don't think this is a good idea." He didn't acknowledge me either way. Eventually, he got up and walked away from the girls to the ping pong table.

Two days later, we were back at school and stories were flowing about the things they did at camp. Word had gotten around quickly and by noon, I found myself summoned to the principal's office with her, a pastor's wife and the vice principal, a cop by profession before his stint as a vp, and a good friend of the male teacher. I was asked if anything unusual went on at camp. Talk about being put on the spot!

I related that the girls had tried to get a little too close to my colleague when dancing. They asked if any had sat on his lap, if he touched any of them inappropriately. I related to them how they sat in his lap, and how he got up and moved to the game table. I stated that I did not see anything inappropriate but the girls trying to sit on his lap. I felt like a tight rope walker without a net.

Later that day, after school let out, the male teacher came to my door, leaned in and said, "Hey!, a small grin on his lips. "Thanks for having my back!" he said loudly and quickly moved on. To this day, I am not sure exactly what that meant. Was he truthfully grateful? Was he sarcastic and had been disciplined? I never asked. We have 'friended' each other on social media, but he rarely replies to any of my comments, nor does he block me.

All three situations: uncomfortable and a w k w a r d…yes.