The Life

When you are a child, life is simpler. You are dependent on other people for your food, clothing, and shelter. To instruct you about life. Although I am aware that not everyone may experience this, my remarks are more general.

Nothing seems simple or easy when you're a kid, which is hilarious. You pick up skills like walking, knowing when to say no, and interacting with people. As time passes and you get older, everything seems to get more and more complicated and grandiose. Every choice seems to be the one that will always matter the most.

We believe that as I get older, things will be simpler, I'll know what to do, and I'll realize what my mission is.

But the reality is that as time goes on, life simply becomes more challenging. Your life is no longer the only thing that decisions affect. The feeling of purpose that you believed would guide you in your profession or employment is lost. Only now, it's difficult to do anything else even if you wanted to. Because of the fact that you have only ever pursued this one route, you not only lack the prerequisite skills for other jobs but are also seen as having excessive qualifications in other areas. Then there's the money; it's impossible to start at the bottom since you've built a life and a way of living around this income.

My bright red hair and buck teeth made me a target for bullies, and even the instructors found methods to make me feel different as a child, so I was in a rush to grow up.

In elementary school, my only goal was to go to middle school where I hoped to blend in with the other students after moving from a class of sixteen.

I go to middle school. All I wanted was to go to high school, when I believed the bullying would end and I would suddenly be among the attractive girls.

All I wanted in high school was to be recognized as more than just the coach's daughter. To enjoy "the finest time of my life," I wanted to attend college.

The issue with attending college when you come from a really low economic family is that you'll tell stories about the idiotic things you did and the time you should have spent at parties for the rest of your life. The issue is that you have to work two jobs to make ends meet. Therefore, you have no life outside of job, school, and studying.

Given what I had to go through, it took me over 30 years to feel beautiful. When I look in the mirror, I don't always see what other people see because of bullies and bad relationships.

I also believed that by the time I turned 30 I would have found my calling and be raising a family. I've been yearning for the next phase of life all these years... I had the idea that once I got married and had kids, everything would be OK.

“What if life could be this way? Only the happy parts, none of the terrible, not even the mildly unpleasant. What if we could just cut out the bad and keep the good? This is what I want to do with Violet - give her only the good, keep away the bad, so that good is all we ever have around us. ― Jennifer Niven "

Well, after getting married, I later got divorced. The only child I ever had was a blip in my tummy that fled as soon as it appeared.

Even though I often feel like I'm not very successful at my profession, I know, at the age of almost 40, that the career route I eventually took made sense at the time.

But when you consider what life's true purpose is—to generate more life—none of it really matters in the big picture. Therefore, I can't help but feel that my life lacks a meaningful purpose in that aspect.

I've wasted so much time attempting to get to the subsequent task or objective in the hope that eventually everything would make sense. As an adult, things would be less complicated.

When you realize how simple childhood was after you are too old to enjoy it, it is very depressing.

“Most of us must learn to love people and use things rather than loving things and using people.” ― Roy T. Bennett