The Cat Did It + Other Dumb Excuses Pervs Gave When Caught With Child Porn

Criminals come up with some of the dumbest stories I have ever heard in my life. The stories either are so incredible no one would believe them even if they were true or so dumb you lose brain cells just listening to them string together the first thoughts that come to mind.

Sometimes both.

Ronald Martin is one of those people.

Man Says He Was Possessed by a Bug

In 2017, 54-year-old Ronald S. Martin from Elizabethtown, PA was sentenced to 3 to 6 years in prison after his wife became fed up with him viewing child pornography.

(How long did it take this woman to get ‘fed up’ with this nasty act? Why wasn't she charged for obstruction or some type of crime?)

Martin told police that he was not responsible for the images because he fell down onto the ground one day and a bug with six to eight million legs crawled out of his mouth.

(Impressed that he could count eight million bug legs while the insect crawled away.)

He said the bug possessed him and caused him to download the images. The courts should’ve given Martin another 3 to 6 years for telling that story.

More Dumb Excuses People Gave When Caught With Child Pornography

The Cat Did It

In 2009, Keith Griffin was arrested, charged with 10 counts of possession of child pornography after police found more than 1,000 pornographic images on his home computer.

Griffin denied any knowledge of the images.

He told detectives that his cat had a habit of sitting on the keyboard and that on several occasions, he had returned to the computer to find the cat had downloaded strange material.

Obviously, police did not believe the story and arrested the man. He was sentenced to 12 ½ years in prison.

The cat was placed with a family friend.

West Nile Virus Responsible

Irving Jose Marquez was sentenced to 20 years in prison in 2019 after he downloaded and distributed child pornography. Lawyers for the man said that he was not in his right mind and could not be held accountable for his actions because when he contracted West Nile Virus in 2009, it made him sexually aggressive.

My 80-Year-Old Dad Did It

In January 2020, Florida-man William Brian Slader was busted with 79 child pornography images on his computer when the FBI tracked them back to his IP address. The man was arrested and promptly blamed his 80-year-old father who was visiting from Pennsylvania. A judge did not believe the story and convicted him on child pornography charges.

It's My Coping Mechanism

Another Pennsylvania child porn image incident occurred in 2016 when Kaitlin Plascjak was found with 100 videos and images of child porn on her phone. Police arrested the woman who shocked them by saying the images were her “coping mechanism” from being sexually abused as a child.

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder

Joshua Adams told a federal judge that he was asexual and had no interest in sex during his 2018 trial after he was caught with 10,000 images of child porn on his computer in 2017. Adams told the judge that he has obsessive-compulsive disorder and could not stop hoarding the images. Less than one year later, Adams was arrested for sexually assaulting a child.

The judge sentenced him to 5-years in federal prison.