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Underneath it all

by Heather Hubler 2 months ago in Humanity · updated 2 months ago
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The Un-Experiment - Post #2

Just a little food for thought.

The Un-Experiment - Post #2

Underneath It All

I love to laugh. There is something so freeing about releasing pent-up emotions by full-on belly laughing. I’m talking doubled over with tears streaming down my face. Or just a burst of laughter or even a simple chuckle over something I’ve watched or read. 

The older I get, the more I tend to shy away from drama and heavy feelings, at least for forms of entertainment. 

I’ll readily admit that I prefer laughter to experiencing most other emotions and use it as a crutch more often than not. If you know me, you may have heard me say on more than one occasion (okay, probably a lot of occasions) that "if I don’t laugh, I’ll be crying in a corner." It’s true.

Anyone else feel that to some degree?

I'm that one person in your friend group that's more likely to mask pain with a bit of levity, tell a joke in the midst of tragedy. I remember when the song "One Week" by Barenaked Ladies came out, and I heard that line for the first time, "I'm the kinda of guy that laughs at a funeral." I was like, yes! Me too!

And it's not because I'm callous or cruel but rather the opposite. I feel too much when I let myself. I've got empathy on hyperdrive and need to constantly take an active role in muting it, or I'll go crazy.

Underneath it all, I'm a raging mass of emotions that are constantly trying to escape. I let the laughter through most often, bubbling up to the surface to release the pressure of everything else I'm feeling trying to break free.

I don't know if I'm alone in this or other people do it too. It's not like many of us sit around talking about true emotions and feelings all day long.

No, sadly the world I tend to see every day likes to perpetuate heaps of fakeness. (Lol, see what I did there? Fakeness is a fake word. Yeah, I know it was lame, but I just can't help myself.) People are out there like look at my fake day on Facebook. Look at my glamorous life on Instagram. Hear how amazing I am on TikTok. See how outraged I am over some sort of injustice I should care about but probably don't.

I'm not downing those out there trying to spread positivity on those platforms by posting happy or uplifting material, or people truly fighting for equality and respect, or people just doing what they love. Kudos to you for trying to make an impact in this world. I sincerely hope you are a success, because we need people like you. Don't give up!

Yes, you!

But let's be real, there's also a wealth of content out there that seems an awful lot like staged perfection meant to make people appear superior, like they have it all together. There are those I see in person too that make me feel the same way, and honestly I don't feel the want or need to interact with any of them, but I probably should.

What if, like me, some of them are using their fake perfection to mask their true emotions? Maybe Organized Olivia or Perfect Patty or Home Chef Hannah don't want to let the other emotions through either. I imagine Weight-lifting Wade and Protesting Pete could be just like me, only letting one or two feelings bubble to the surface while suppressing all the rest. Unable to handle all the things we can feel as humans.

How then do we drop the facade? How do we put away pride? How do we be real with each other?

I honestly don't know.

I'm not even sure I can handle the answers to my own questions.

If anyone out there feels how I feel, maybe we should just try being quick to extend a little grace and slow to throw down that judge's gavel. And maybe we don't have to let all our emotions out, but we can at least acknowledge that we're all in the same boat trying to navigate this rarely easy life.

I think for now, I'll keep enjoying my comedy and my ill-mannered jokes all the while toasting to Comedy Cameron and Exercise Edna out there getting after their own brand of happy.

Because if I can't laugh, I'll be crying in a corner. And I don't want to cry today.

Not today

* * *

Here's the one that started it all! Post #1


About the author

Heather Hubler

Coffee/reading/writing/family–they get me up each morning and keep me up late into the night. I have a degree in Biochemistry, but my split personality loves Creative Writing just as much!

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  1. Heartfelt and relatable

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Comments (7)

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  • Sarah Faith Ethridge2 months ago

    Is it bad that I started to cry after I read this, and then laughed about it? Thank you for the great read!

  • Feeling too much was very relatable. And I'm also a raging mass of emotions. But unlike you, I do not release it by laughter or any means. It gets all pent up and every once in awhile it erupts. Most of my days are very overwhelming. There's nothing much that can make me laugh for me to even try what you do. But I'm so happy laughing works for you! 💖

  • Paul Bruce2 months ago

    This is so true. Keep enjoying comedy.

  • Carol Townend2 months ago

    Its depressing when you have to be that 'fake' someone who never shows their feelings, and it's unhealthy. Keep being yourself and never be afraid to show your true emotions.

  • Amy Thomas2 months ago

    Really enjoyed your story! And completely agree, that people should feel free to share their true feelings & be their authentic selves. We all have those ick days, it's ok just be you!!

  • Caroline Jane2 months ago

    Congratulations on the top story! Continuously c-nackered Caroline here.. with you in the forever fight for the freedom of funked up feelings. #laughandhaveatit. (Careful how you read that ha ha ha!!) With you all the way! ✌️❤

  • Babs Iverson2 months ago

    Excellent story! Congratulations on the Top Story too!!!

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