The Hurt of Not Writing

Yesterday I didn’t write , but I wanted to . This wasn’t writer's block (I have written a piece on how I deal with this here), this was something else. Normally I can write about anything , a piece of junk I found in the street , something I found at the bottom of a rucksack , a person I have met , an album or book I like , or something that happened to me in the past.

So you can see I have lots of starting points for writing and I just couldn’t write , something was stopping me. I knew I should be able to write but I couldn’t.

There was my evil demon , who said I couldn’t write anyway and no one would be interested in what I had to say. My Vocal posts get a hundred reads a day so I know that is not true, but that is one of the ways bullies attack you, they put you down with lies and you end up believing their lies because they continually hit you with them.

Maybe it was that I wasn’t listening to the right music , maybe it was my first day back at work and getting severely overwhelmed with tasks which I am still dealing with, and not being able to talk to my Vocal friends (we have to work to get paid to pay for our internet access) all these probably contributed to the feeling of being pushed into a corner by my demon. There were other unrelated issues as well which are ongoing and need to be addressed , and added together this all stopped me writing , and that saddened me.

This morning I woke up and thought I should write about this , because others might be hit in the same way.

So how was I going to get back writing?

Talk with someone you trust , and I talked with my Muse about the situation, and she does spark me to create.

The thing is after chatting with my Muse I chatted with other mutual friends and was given a lot of love, encouragement and support from them.

Sometimes I write a poem , but as I have three waiting to be published, maybe I will wait. One of those got rejected for being less than a hundred words, and that also upset me because it was wrong. Poems are allowed an explanation and you couldn't write a haiku or crown cinquain and make the poem a hundred words or more long.

However I do have a lot of mundane everyday work to do , and many things can actually stop us from doing our writing or creating, but we should try and create a path to do what we want to do.

This is actually a confession of how I often fail and I hope it lets other people know that they are not the only ones who hit these ruts.

You can pull yourself out and it shows how minimal mine was that it only lasted a day , but not being able to write still hurts me. It is a way of connecting with friends and people who matter to me.

I was speaking to a friend who had not been able to write since October , another who’s work training had stalled her writing, so my issue is not much , but an issue can stop you in your tracks.

Not Writing Hurts , letting words flow makes me feel good and this has been a wonderful release for me. I am sorry if it just seems like I am complaining and moaning but this is just the way of fixing myself and becoming what I should be , a writer.

We got to have a song and I think I will share “Sunrise” by The Grateful Dead from “Terrapin Station” just because it is beautiful and that’s how writing makes me feel inside.