The Haunted Mystery Box

I recently joined the notorious internet craze and ordered a Haunted Mystery Box. The reviews we're eccentric and enigmatic to say the very least. My curiosity was heightened and I found myself entering my payment information before I had entirely thought the situation through.

Here are some of the reviews that lured me into making such a nonsensical and preposterous purchase.

This is the sweetest seller ever!!! My box arrived in a timely fashion, and as soon as I opened it, I could feel loving energy radiating from its contents; It has only been 24 hours but I'm already beginning to see activity around my home, I couldn't be happier with my purchase! They truly care for their customers, 10/10 would recommend!!

Ordered it on the 1st, got it on the 6th (with the 3rd and 4th being weekends.) I did a blind unboxing which can be seen here. I thought it was a pretty cool box, I do have some strange vibes from 3 of the items and some strange things have been happening around my house ever since I opened the box, so just for that alone I'd say...it's worth it :)

Here is the actual video that was linked to the review.

When I received my box in the mail I immediately felt something pulling me to it. There were supernatural vibes right away. I am sensitive to things like this and the feeling was almost overpowering. Out of 3 items, I can say for a fact that at least 2 of them are highly haunted.

How could I possibly resist having my very own haunted box!? Did I actually believe that I would unbox an ancient ghost from the past? No. But I did expect it to be an awesome form of some spooky entertainment.

I waited each day for my box to arrive. I'll admit that when the delivery man actually came carrying my suspicious package wrapped in brown paper. (it truly was a box wrapped in plain brown paper) I had a slight case of nerves. "What if I actually do unleash a demon into my home?" "What if there really is a very pissed-off ghost inside of that box?" Then I laughed and hurried to the living room and settled in for my grand unpackaging.

After tearing away the fresh, clean brown wrapping I noticed that the box itself had an eerie musky smell. I envisioned it sitting in someone's attic, forgotten and molding for ages. It was time to go find some rubber gloves because I certainly was not willing to start digging into this mystery box with my bare hands.

The seller claimed (quote) :

"I am an experienced seller and I have some special psychic abilities. I am an Empath; sometimes have Premonitions; I can "read the history of items and info on former owners, and I can communicate with spirits attached to vessels. I have always been drawn to the Strange, the Paranormal, the Unexplained. I 100% guarantee that the items you receive have spirits attached to them. Beware that not all spirits are good and some may be malevolent. I am in no way responsible for what happens once these items are in your possession."

I was intrigued and hypnotized, a complete stranger on the internet would never lie about such a thing, would they? If they say that whatever is inside of this box is haunted then it must unquestionably be! Nobody would be shady enough to sell me a box of junk and lies for $150.00 I have faith in humanity!

I took a long, deep breath and broke the tape holding the box together, and slowly lifted the flaps. The smell of rotten chicken liver raided my senses. The items inside of the box were carefully blanketed with black wrapping tissue and an insanely thick layer of sparkly glitter with odd symbols. A handwritten note had been placed right on top.

"Please! I urge you to burn white sage or light some white candles before unveiling these items. I also suggest placing a circle of salt around yourself for protection."

Sage? I didn't have any sage laying around the house. White candles, YES! I ran to the bathroom and grabbed the white linen-scented candles from the cabinet. I also dashed into the kitchen and fetched a container of iodized salt. "Is iodized okay?" I didn't even know but it would have to work. I glanced out the window to make sure that my husband hadn't come home from work. The last thing I wanted was for him to barge in on me while I was conducting this most important ritual.

I need for you to take just a moment to picture in your mind, a 45- year old woman sitting on the living room floor, surrounded by salt and Yankee Candles with a huge, stinky box of evilness in front of me.

Here I go!

"Wait! What was that sound coming from the kitchen?" - "Satan is that you?" Nope, it's just the cat scratching in his bowl of kibble. I reach into the box and pull out item number one. It's an ancient Barbie Doll head with its hair shaved. There's a note attached.

"I feel that this doll once belonged to a sad little girl who met a horrific and forlorn demise. Her spirit is attached to this doll. You must immediately contain the spirit within a sealed glass vessel."

Oh Crap! I run into the kitchen and grab an empty jelly jar and shove the doll head inside. Phew, that was close.

I reach inside the box and pull out item number two. The phone suddenly rings and I almost pee'd my pants while trying to keep one foot inside of the circle of salt. It was just my husband telling me that he's running late. I stop and breathe.

The next item is an old jewelry box with several old coins inside. What does the note say?

"You must always keep the coins inside of the box, DO NOT REMOVE THE COINS NO MATTER WHAT!

I'm sitting there dumbfounded as I look at the coins in my hand. I removed the coins, crap! crap! crap! I look around the room, there's no sign of a ghost or demon. I hurry and throw the coins back into the box. "Am I safe? Am I alive?" Yes! I made it.

For the final item. Item number three is an old skeleton key. The note attached says

"I sense that a sickly young woman was locked inside of a closet, unable to escape she perished to an untimely and painful death. Her soul is linked to this key. To release her spirit the closet must be opened. Keep her spirit sealed in a crystal container. I sense that she is unrested and vengeful.

"A CRYSTAL CONTAINER!" I start throwing black tissue and scattering glitter, THERES NO CRYSTAL CONTAINER INCLUDED! Where's the closet? Europe? China? I have no clue!

I frantically call my husband. "Stop at the Curiosity Shop downtown and pick up a crystal container!" Within a few minutes, he calls back. "The only crystal container that they have is $500."

I sigh, "I'm so screwed, I opened a haunted box that had a key to a dead woman's soul in it, now she's going to kill me if I don't lock her inside of a crystal container!"

I heard myself speak and a wave of hot humiliation swept over me. My husband was silent. I turned around and found my 12-year-old son staring at me, he had just come home from school.

I'm stuttering, trying to explain myself as I see him pick up his cell phone and call his dad.

"Uh dad, you might want to hurry up and get home, I think mom is having menopause. She's sitting on the floor, surrounded by salt, and there's glitter all over her face and in her hair. She's burning candles and it's just really weird."

That was the first and last time that I will ever purchase another haunted box from the internet.

Update: No ghosts or demons moved into my house. I am perfectly safe. The only damage that was inflicted was the complete mutilation of my dignity and pride and the crippling beating of total humiliation.