The Astrology Community is Toxic.

The title of this might be the most hipster thing I've ever written, but in this case I'm rolling with it.

This is not about to be one of those rants where I talk about how back in the day it wasn't like this and everyone jumping on the bandwagon has destroyed this thing I like. Whine. Whine. Whine.

At least I really hope it doesn't end up being that.

But because context is so important I am starting this off with back in the day...Back in my day anyways. Which really wasn't back in the day. It was 2010.

2010 was when I moved to New York City and one of my roommates started getting into astrology. I was, truth be told, incredibly resistant to it at first. Partially because starting at around 13 years old my home rapidly shifted into a relatively conservative Christian household. A lot of Christians even to this day are wary of astrology.

The other piece of resistance to astrology was because without disclosing my sun sign, it's one of the more publicly hated on signs. From what I've seen anyways.

So I grew up somewhat resistant to taking any interest in astrology because quite frankly who wants to read articles in magazines about how I'm boring and shy and quiet and introverted but somehow also incredibly bossy and think I know everything at the same time. It wasn't so good for my already severe teen angst and damaged self-esteem.

However, when my roommate started finding her way into astrology she discovered the birth chart and hallelujah, it was like my whole life made sense now. Suddenly I wasn't just this sign I always resented. I was all these different signs strategically placed and each representing a different facet of my personality. All coming together like the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers to make one badass Megazord. Or in my case, one badass woman. Complicated sure, but badass nonetheless.

Pretty much from this point on I was hooked. Only, a decade ago there wasn't a ton of people to talk to about it. Now before you go "that's bs, people were into astrology before 2010." Yes, I know that.

From my perspective though there were 2 distinct groups of people interested in astrology, or should I say western astrology specifically, prior to this time. There were the people who used astrology simply for fun, i.e. your friend who made everyone give their birthday at the sleepover so she could tell you your horoscope and then tease you about it. These people didn't really know astrology persay. It wasn't meant to be a serious thing but just a fun hobby occasionally. We weren't doing deep dives into our birth charts with these friends.

Then there was the second group of people. These people I was extremely intimidated by. These were the people who grew up on astrology. The ones who by 2010 already knew their full birth chart, by heart. They frequently were the kids who grew up in a New Age household or just had super freaking chill parents. Many of these people were also openly advertising they were into witchcraft as well. They were in fact, doing it before it was cool.

I met a girl like this randomly when she came to my apartment with a couple guys my friends and I met on our first Halloween in the city. It was now November and it felt like it was still Halloween when they showed up. I was very into it.

She read my tarot cards and talked a little bit to me about my birth chart. It was amazing and yet I walked away from the interaction feeling a little like shit. Don't get me wrong. It was fun talking to her but I had this moment of inferiority, acknowledging that compared to her I literally didn't know anything about astrology and I wanted to change that.

Over the years I stayed interested in astrology and continued to study and grow my knowledge and became that girl at the parties who thought a good way to move along random conversations just might be to figure out as much as I could about everyone's birth chart.

Fun. I know.

Kidding. Most people probably thought it was weird and invasive. Sorry y'all.

But now, we are here in 2021 and this kind of interaction is pretty common place. I am fairly certain, unless I was drunk and hallucinating this, pre-panorama, in 2019, I met a girl at a bar who gave me her sun sign before her actual first name.

And I personally have been guilty of remembering people's signs, but not their names, the day after meeting them. Yikes. I know.

It's so deeply embedded now into general society it's harder to find people who don't want to talk about it then people who do.

So why is this toxic exactly?

Well I've been thinking a lot on how this idea of building "communities" around any one interest in general can get toxic pretty quickly, especially if these communities connect primarily on the internet, which most of them do, but that's a subject for another time.

For astrology it basically boils down to the fact that many people have taken their interest in astrology so far that they leave hate comments about people based on sun signs alone.

And I get it. I think it goes without saying that many people who leave nasty comments on the internet really don't deserve our thoughts or attention period. It's still deeply frustrating to see how far this has spread and how deeply it's begun to infiltrate the community, because at the end of the day I have to believe astrology wasn't meant to be toxic.

It wasn't here to make you feel like shit about yourself or make you feel immediately angry at a person you've never even met because you "don't get along with ___ sign."

When I first got into astrology it was healing for me. It was a way for me to more deeply understand myself and in turn how I was relating to others. It made me stop and think in a way I never had before about how I was coming across to others in everyday interactions.

It made me consider in a way I honestly hadn't thought through very thoroughly yet how different we are really are in the way we carry ourselves, in the way we see ourselves, and in the way we handle our emotions.

This is not a dig at the creators of astrology content for the most part. I can take a joke. If you want to guess my favorite sex position or how long I'd survive in The Hunger Games based on what you think you know about my sun sign then go for. Fire away. The toxicity occurs largely in the comment section where the worst of humanity often comes out to play en masse and especially in this community go frequently unchecked by said creators. (By the way. I get it. You get a lot of comments, who even wants to deal with it. Just an observation.)

I have seen everything from "everyone born at the end of the month of ___ are the most boring people ever" to "everyone who is ___ are the worst people ever, I literally don't talk to people of that sign." In actuality I've seen even worse comments, but I'm not going to go into those.

Why do we think it's ever okay to talk about anyone like that?

Have you actually met everyone who has ever existed or exists now of that sign? No you haven't. Take a seat and a deep breath.

We get it. Your ex was a ___ and he played you like a fiddle. Your former best friend ruined your life and she was a ___. You know a lot of people who are ___, and they all kinda do this thing that you can't stand.

Just stop.

At the end of the day we are all still people. Their sun sign does not define them and your sun sign doesn't define you either.

Not to mention, purely from an astrology as a study perspective if all you are basing judgements on is a sun sign, I hate love to tell you, you are doing it wrong.

And you are projecting your hurt onto millions of people.

Well, probably not millions. There are plenty of sane people who stay the hell out of Tik Tok and Instagram comment sections because they have learned their lesson and know what they will find there.

Maybe once I've got this off my chest I will be smart enough to do the same.

Also worth pointing out, western astrology is not the definitive end all of all of typing based on when/where you were born.

Chinese. Hindu. Celtic. Egyptian. Native American.

Outside of this bubble we are living in there's plenty of other cultures who don't even follow this and don't care. Some of them even think it is dead wrong and would argue, stole ideas from their culture. You can google the controversy surrounding western astrology as it stands today and appropriation. Pretty thought provoking stuff to say the least.

So how did we go from exploring a fun, introspective field of study to calling people names and deciding to group humans we've never even met in with negative stereotypes based on the date they were born?

Toxic is a strong word. Maybe too strong. If I had titled this "The Astrology Community is Kinda Not Nice Sometimes," let's be honest, you probably wouldn't have felt triggered enough to read it. And I think for anyone in this community this needs to be talked about one way or another.

Communities are meant to lift people up, not tear them down.

Have I noticed in my astrology journey I'm frequently drawn to people of certain signs? Sure.

Do I see certain traits repeated in people of certain signs? Sure.

Is this ever ALWAYS the case? Absolutely not, and it's silly to think otherwise.

I genuinely love all signs. There's positive and negative traits to each and everyone of us. Whether they stem from where and when you were born, or something else entirely at the end of the day it is a moot point. If the community doesn't exist to uplift, encourage, and just have fun with something we are all enjoying then what exactly is it here for?

To answer the question I know you've been trying to guess the answer to this whole time, you knew I wasn't going to leave you hanging.

- xoxo Virgo.