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School Lockdowns Made Me Feel Like a Fish in a Fish Tank

Humans huddled in the corner of a classroom

By Brenda MahlerPublished 2 years ago Updated 2 years ago 3 min read
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Author modified image of photo by Ian Schneider on Unsplash

Everyone sprang into action at the sound of the lockdown signal. With the depression of the button, a recorded message announced over the intercom, “This is a lockdown. Immediately, prepare for lockdown. Lockdown in progress.”

With those few words, our school changed from a learning environment to a survival mode. Teachers in one movement ushered students from halls into their rooms, and shut and lock doors. Without second thoughts, they grabbed the weapon they had stored to guard the door. In my classroom, I hid a baseball bat in the coat closet near the door.

Students understood their roles and acted as trained to barricade the entry with desks, and chairs, being sure to block the door’s window so nobody could break it, reach in and turn the handle. Teens rolled any remaining desks onto their sides, creating a barrier to hide behind in the corner of the room. Hands turned the overhead lights out, darkened computer screens, and silenced phones. The darkness camouflaged the existence of life or at least, we hoped so.

After preparations were completed, 30+ bodies huddled in the corner, silently waiting for whatever might occur. A deadly silence filled the room knowing the consequences of being discovered could be deadly. With the teacher remaining near the door with the weapon, the students consoled each other unsure of what would happen next.

At one point the door handle jiggled and the door hinges shook. As the teacher in the room, I felt like the shark in the picture above, protecting a school of fish from an unknown threat. At the age of 23 when I began my teaching career, this part of the job description remained undefined. Now, it was a reality.

Everyone remained in this position for 20–30 minutes until an announcement allowed normal breathing and movement.

This complete today’s drill. You may resume the normal day’s schedule. Thank you for your participation.

As the desks were righted and replaced to their original position, the lights came on and cell phones emerged to report to parents and friends that an event had occurred. I turned on the computer screen to check the email for a message that would appear to report the results of the drill and reassure teachers that the building was safe.

Everybody needed and deserved a few moments to process the recent event and I recognized learning would be out of the question. With only a few minutes remaining in the class period, we sat and talked. A football player in the front row joked, “Mrs. Mahler, you look pretty mean with that bat in your hand.” Though his comment attempted to make light of the situation, it put a lump in my stomach as I thought about the day I might have to use it.

Authorities prepared staff for an intruder each year. Current events required practice scenarios to be added to the fire drill and we complied knowing the threat was real. That didn’t make it easier and with each school mass shooting, it became emotionally more difficult.

Today while watching the news report on the 19 children killed in their classroom in Texas, an image of my children huddled in the corner haunted my memories. With a warning, the teacher might have been able to fend off the gunman and save lives. Without a warning, the kids were trapped like fish in a fishbowl.

What would I have done? Like any teacher I know, I would have placed myself in front of the children to guard their innocence. However, one bullet removed all security. In the Texas classroom, events occurred in reverse. The teacher and students never had a chance to create a barrier or fight. The intruder walked and blocked the entrance so nobody could rescue the students. He systematically fired shot after shot taking human lives.

This morning after a few moments in front of the news, I turned off the TV because it wasn’t a drill. Reality hit too close to home. Another school shooting took lives and destroyed homes. In response, I share my experience and feelings hoping to prompt readers to do something. Take action for the children.

Now, it is time to make a difference.

Read more lessons from a teacher.

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Brenda Mahler

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Books AVAILABLE ON AMAZON.

* Lockers Speak: Voices from America's Youth

* Understanding the Power Not Yet shares Kari’s story following a stroke at 33.

* Live a Satisfying Life By Doing it Doggy Style explains how humans can life to the fullest.

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