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It's Okay To Be Vulnerable.

Dreaming Of A World Without False Pretenses.

By Cathy (Christine Acheini) Ben-Ameh Published about a year ago 3 min read
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#vanaportrait

“One of the biggest surprises in this research was learning that fitting in and belonging are not the same thing. In fact, fitting in is one of the greatest barriers to belonging. Fitting in is about assessing a situation and becoming who you need to be in order to be accepted. Belonging, on the other hand, doesn’t require us to change who we are; it requires us to be who we are.”

Brené Brown, Author of "Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead"

As long as I can remember I always kept a journal but I always ended up destroying those journals because in a way I thought it could erase everything and start again. At a point, accepting so much of my reality at given points in time and, being vulnerable even to myself felt like a thing to be ashamed of.

Well, I started to journal again in 2018 and have filled 40 notebooks of different sizes ranging from 80 to 120 pages each. As I come to the end of book 40 I realize how important it is to not keep our thoughts trapped inside of us. That is where dreams go to die- in that silence, in that fear that a lot of the general public mistakes as self-respect and preservation.

I suppose, in a way social media gives many people the illusion that they are documenting their lives anyways but sadly, most of the time a very small percentage of people document the true pictures of their actual lives.

I have often been chastised for sharing too much information but in a world where our information most likely will be hacked or stolen, or even given away for free when we refuse to read the "Terms and Conditions," isn't it better to hide in plain sight and just be upfront with ourselves and others?

There is a place for silence. But how else will you control your narrative unless you speak (or write) out somehow regardless of who is listening (or reading, as the case may be)?

Sometimes silence is the lesser option. Silence often nurtures assumptions. People are more easily observed and predicted based on the information that they are given. And the informer understanding this understands their power. And the informer knowing the difference between when or when not to give information away has embraced a certain level of wisdom or cunning depending on whether the information is true or not.

Many of us are still stuck trying to affirm our worth through other people based on what we do for a living, who we date or are married to, whether or not we have children, what societies or churches we belong to, our sexuality, the brands of clothes we wear, the cars we drive, and the list goes on and on.

Imagine a world where nobody was afraid to be different and nobody judged what the standards of "conventional" should be.

To me, the reward for vulnerability is peace of mind because no matter how used you feel by how much information you give or the vulnerability you show, always remember that information is power- more to the giver than the receiver. The receiver in their greatest cunning can never contend with the giver in their full authenticity.

Shame cannot exist without secrecy. True vulnerability is the ultimate truth that repels shame and embarrasment.

In the end,

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.”

― Bernard M. Baruch

TabooEmbarrassment
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About the Creator

Cathy (Christine Acheini) Ben-Ameh

Bio:

Cathy Ben-Ameh has published two books; "The Impact of Music Streaming on The Music Industry: Case study-Spotify" and "'13- A Chapbook of 13 Short Poems". https://linktr.ee/cathybenameh

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