I was just fired for the first time in my life and you won't believe why

The blue flame in the image symbolizes complete combustion. I am completely and totally free to be me and you will find out as you read on.

As a freelance writer I cover many subjects and one of them is soap opera spoilers and breaking news. I would prefer writing from my heart but that does not pay the bills. Now that my husband has passed I no longer have his income so I have been writing night and day trying to survive. In addition to Vocal, I was writing for Hubpages and slowly increasing my earnings on both sites. A few months back a fellow writer suggested I write for a site that exclusively did soap spoilers and I cannot even give you the name. It's an organization that runs 5 of the hundreds of sites where you can check daily to see what is happening on daytime drama shows.

There was nothing in writing and no contract to sign and no rules except that I write in the format associated with the platforms. I appreciated the offer and the patience they exhibited because at 63 and dealing with widow brain I made mistakes. I would think one thing in my mind and then when I wrote it at times I got the actors names wrong or said one soap when I meant another. Many times after proofreading I still had mistakes to go through. I realize this was from the pressure I felt to perform and that nagging feeling that I should not be on that site anyway.

I went into this writing platform already writing for Vocal and Hubpages and never thought it would be a problem. Imagine Hubpages or Vocal telling me I cannot write for the other. This soap site paid $8.50 per article and it was good to have steady money I could count on. I was averaging $300 weekly and now that is gone. This morning it came to me what the "firing" was really about. A few days ago I shared an article from a sight called Soap Hub in one of my Facebook groups and I believe this was the so called "Competitor issue."

On the group Skype chat other writers said they reworded articles and put them on multiple sites so I did the same. I did not see any conflict in continuing to write soap spoilers on HP and Vocal. I believe my dismissal was more about my errors and the attitude was "You are the weakest link, goodby."

I was told that I was "fired" which is an inaccurate term as I was freelancing. I was told that my articles were all over Facebook and I was working for the competition. This is bizarre as there are hundreds of soap spoiler sites online that are writing about the same subjects. Someone reading my article on a subject does not hinder them from reading another. People including myself often go to multiple sites to see if they are saying the same thing. I don't have a website so I peddle my articles on Facebook groups and share on a page I created.

Had this site owner told me up front that I could not write my own stories I would have declined to work for her. Freelance allows me to write from my heart. On this particular site, I had to pitch ideas and wait for them to be approved or rejected. This was not a good fit for me and I should have listened to my first instinct. I initially had a feeling that this was not going to work but I needed the money and decided to give it a try.

This type of writing site may work for some and I am not putting them down. I just wish I had known up front that writing on my own was considered as competing. There is pressure in working for someone else and that individual telling you what they need or rejecting what you feel is a good idea. This takes away the spontaneity of being free to freelance. On Vocal and Hubpages I can choose what I want to write and not have to wait for someone else to tell me yay or nay. I am going to miss the steady money but I feel free as if a weight has been lifted for me. I have Faith, that somehow, someway if I apply myself to writing as I desire the money will come. I'm singing with Billy Joel:

I don't care what you say anymore this is my life

Go ahead with your own life leave me alone

My advice to those who are natural born writers is to follow your gut instinct. I wish I had listened to mine but I have learned some things through this journey. I have a new laptop and the keys don't stick and I can simply flow and write as the words come to me. Michael Jackson once said that God gave him songs that came to him at any time of the day or night. This is what writing does for me. Story ideas can come to me in the strangest locations and times of day.

I appreciate being able to put my feelings in writing without anyone else telling me I can or cannot. Creativity should not be stifled and artists should be able to create what is in their hearts. This is why I cannot write for a newspaper or magazine because I am not a reporter who turns in work to the boss by a deadline and if you are that is great for you. I am just sharing my truth.

Vocal means more to me now than ever and I am still thinking about being told that I was fired for the first time in 63 years and that my stories were all over Facebook. This is where the articles were supposed to be. I hope my sharing will benefit someone and help them identify whether or not they can write under pressure and only what someone else desires or if they need to be free like me.

In the eyes of the site owner where I used to write she fired me. I prefer to see it as she confirmed that I was not a good fit for that platform. I also look at it as having a fire lit under me and motivating me to be fired up and continue doing my own thing. Someone told me last week that you will never be a millionaire working for someone else. I do believe one day my articles and the books I plan to write will earn me that status just to know I can do it.

Thank you for taking the time to read my rant. Thanks to the Vocal team for allowing me to be able to vent. If you enjoyed my tale please leave a heart and a tip. I need encouragement and money more now than ever.