Growing Up Beyond Poor.

I am grateful for running hot water to do dishes in. No more heating water over the stove, pot after pot, adding what felt like forever to dish time. No hauling jugs of water from the spicket to the house, gallon after gallon. So much work for a kid on a hot Arizona day. Nope, now I just walk up, turn on the faucet, hot water appears.

I am spoiled now.

I even have an indoor bathroom and a tub with hot water that fills all the way full, not an inch or two. No fire is required under it to heat the water. No splintery board to sit on to keep from burning one’s skin on the bottom of the tub, where the fire licked the porcelain too long. My shower has instant hot water that runs for as long as I need. It is not a 50-gallon giant-sized can sitting on a stand, out in the sun, out in the open, trickling lukewarm water out of a hose.

Now as an adult, I have a great toilet. Not a piss bucket that has to be emptied daily. I am so thankful for a toilet that flushes the nasty away. My bathroom is in a room with walls and a door. My toilet is not a chore. It is a tool. My bathroom has privacy, the privacy I deserved as a young girl, as a teen.

I am thankful for the heat and cool air that runs into my room when I sleep... and the rest of the house. I am grateful for a door that reaches the floor, keeping the snakes and rodents out. I am so happy that my room is not a tent anymore, or a van, or a bamboo hut.

My stove works every single time I light it. I don’t have to worry about the money it costs to cook or if we can refill the propane tank. I don’t worry about a small leak that occasionally explodes fire out under the oven, scorching off all my leg hairs.

Now I just cook or bake every day, often more than once. I have food in abundance that I buy at the store. No more waiting in the food line for a box of everyone's unwanted, mostly expired, give away food. I am grateful that I no longer endure the glares of shame or glances of pity as I paid with a bright yellow “Free Lunch Ticket” or the monopoly money they called “Food Stamps.” Something my children never had to endure. I am so grateful.

I was an only child. My mother couldn’t afford me. There was no way she could ever afford another, it was just her and I. She worked or partied, was gone most of the time. I used to love Wednesdays because that was the day my mother always came home. All the other days, I was alone, always alone.

Now to my joy and horror, I am never alone. My children, husband, dogs, chickens, ducks, a mini-horse, dragon, and a tortoise keep me busy. If I get bored with all that crazy, I am an Aunt now too! I am loved and always connected.

Many say that my childhood from 8-18 was a horrible way for a child to survive, I do not disagree with that opinion. Our society at that time had failed single parents, especially mothers. It put them in impossible positions that not only made them live in horrible conditions, the children had to endure those conditions also. Not every parent has a family member to help. Not every parent was born with money or access to resources. Not all parents have another parent to help.

I do not feel I had a "bad" childhood. I will always claim that I had a great childhood. Although it was surrounded by less than ideal circumstances that once were considered normal. My experiences as a child has made me so grateful for things that everyone I know, take for granted. The experience has made me (as my daughter says) ‘basic’ and adaptable to anything or anyone. I am strong, brave, and independent. I don’t take no for an answer. “I can’t” is not in my vocabulary. I am me, and she is pretty fantastic.

Sometimes I just sit in awe, pondering it all. How hard it was, how easy it is now, how quickly it could all end. I am so thankful.