Becoming @Bosskatie

Finally. A pair of eyes has landed upon these sacred words that translate a beautiful masterpiece from my mind to your screen. Finally. A pair of eyes with a perception different from me, yet connected to me through the energy that makes up all things. Finally. An opportunity to be seen for the blueprint I have received from Source, the Great Creator, who speaks to me as I channel wisdom to humanity.

Finally, I can breathe. Knowing that if it doesn’t work out this time around, there will be another opportunity. For I am internationally known already, in another timeline, and as long as I stay aligned to my passion, my purpose, my mission in life, I know that when the time is right, I will fly.

So who am I?

That is great question, for identity is a fascinating thing. When you become one with your surroundings, your ego evaporates, and you are left breathing life into a nameless, faceless energy. However, to exist in this dimension we must take on a name. So, hello. My name is Katie Shay, but most people know me as-

Bosskatie.

In order to paint you a proper picture of who I am and why I came here, I must begin with the inception of the name, @Bosskatie.

Before I was given the name, I was Katie Katherine Kate. As a young girl, I could never make up my mind which name I wanted to be called, so my Pastor would always call me Katie Katherine Kate. I think I was wise for my age, somehow knowing that I was more expansive than a name. I remember at age 7, staring at the wall, running my finger over the shapes in the texture, thinking about humanity. Contemplating how I was going to save the world, or at least make it a better place.

My biggest concern as a kid was why people couldn’t all get along. I had such a big heart, and wanted everyone to be happy and feel loved, but of course as we all know that’s not how this world works. People have trauma, wounds, attachments, triggers, etc. We live in a world with lots of unconscious behavior. Something I didn’t learn until much later.

Growing up Christian, I always believed in something higher than me. God, if you will. I went on missions’ trips to serve, journaled prayers daily, and was active in youth group. However as I got older, my faith began to dwindle. I lost four friends to the Grim Reaper before the time I graduated High School, so by then I had lost all hope in God. How could a God exist, if such beautiful souls were taken away at such young ages? It just couldn’t be. So I became atheist. I ran from the words God, church, faith, etc. Don’t even bother talking to me about religion, I’m out.

Fast forward a couple of years and I began my career as a fashion model. I worked for clients including Amazon and Nordstrom, and I was making six figures by the time I was 21. Pretty awesome, right? The only problem was that I wasn’t treating myself very nicely. Constantly sizing myself up to the other girls, comparing my body to theirs, binging and purging to try and stay skinny. I would always get compliments at work about how good I looked after I would do a cleanse, basically after having starved myself for 10 days. I was addicted to cleanses and my bulimic behaviors. I had multiple nose jobs thinking that if I just changed this and that, that I would be happy. On the exterior, I appeared bright and happy, but on the inside, I was deteriorating.

During this time, however, I adopted the saying “fake it till you make it”. Even though I was insecure, I pretended to be confident. Some days it felt genuine, other days I just powered through. That is when I met CJ, Lauren, and a group of college kids, who started calling me, “Bosskatie”. You see, I was a very powerful manifestor, even before I knew what "manifesting" meant. If I had my sight set on something, it was mine. I just had a way with getting what I wanted. I appeared to be fearless from the outside, direct, confident, and certain that I could have anything I wanted.

The first time CJ called me Bosskatie, Instagram had just come out. So I looked up that handle and sure enough, it was available. Then I checked Snapchat. Available. Twitter? Available. Tumblr? Available. Even on Facebook, nobody had that URL. I had the impulse to coin the name across the board of social media, so I did. I had no idea what it all meant, but at 20 years old, I had a feeling it was meant for something big.

I was right, of course, but it wasn’t right away that I knew where it was all going. At the time, I was a lost soul. Stuck in my head, insecure in my skin, smart, yes, but without clear direction. Modeling started wearing on me and I wondered what I was I was going to do next. I graduated from college with a degree in accounting, but after being in the creative modeling industry there was no way I could sit at a desk all day. I laughed at the fact that I had at one point wanted to be a tax accountant.

Anyway, it was nearly impossible for me to know where I was going in life when I was so obsessed with my image. Food addictions and body dysmorphia are silent killers, slowly draining the life force out of you. It becomes hard to focus on anything else. I kept going to work, making anywhere from $1200-$2600 a day. So how could I walk away?

At age 23, I started to feel tingling in my hands and legs. I remember going to work at Nordstrom’s and being on set, prepped to model socks all day, but when I sat on the stool and went to lift my feet in the pointed toe position, I couldn’t lift my legs.

I literally could not lift my legs off the ground.

I sat there confused. I called my stylist over and showed her, trying so hard to lift them off the floor… nothing. “Honey why don’t you go lie down for a minute” she said. Somehow, I was able to walk, slowly, to the couch nearby. I phoned my physical therapist, and as the phone started to ring, my hand started to tingle. My PT picked up the phone and I started describing the symptoms. “Katie” he said, “if your right hand is tingling you need to go to the hospital right away.”

The phone slipped out of my hand, and my entire body went numb. I couldn’t lift a finger, I couldn’t move my head, I was completely paralyzed. I could hear his voice, “Katie, Katie?” as a silent tear rolled from my eye. When the stylist saw me she ran to my side and picked up the phone. She asked me what was wrong, and all I could do was move my eyes to meet hers. I was able to muster a tiny whisper, “I can’t move”.

The ambulance came to load me on a stretcher and take me to the ER where they pumped me with fluid and asked me some questions. The IV helped me regain enough strength to talk and move gently. They thought I was dehydrated, but I was always drinking water so I knew that wasn’t it. I went home that day feeling a little bit better and I took the next day off. However, the day after that, I went back to work, and the same thing happened again. I collapsed on set and couldn’t move. This time I had my boyfriend pick me up and take me to the doctor, where we started a series of tests. I had a neurologist tell me that he thought I was going to die right in front of him with the way I couldn’t keep my eyes open. I had to be carried in and out from the car. Multiple tests couldn’t determine what was going on. It was a mystery.

A friend of mine came to stay with me. She spoon fed me meals because my hand were too weak. One day I was trying to make it to the bathroom on my own and I collapsed. I started hyperventilating, so we decided to visit the ER again. As we loaded into the tiny elevator of my apartment building, which was really not the cleanest or nicest elevator in the world, I sat on the ground, unable to stand. Gravity pulled me down and I was laying there, limp, staring up at the florescent lights above, barely able to keep my eyes open.

I noticed the elevator wasn’t moving. “Leonie, did you push the button?” I asked. “Yeah,” she replied, “but it’s not moving.” The elevator, for the first time in my life, got stuck. She began to panic, and I began to hear the voice in my head say,

This can’t be how I die. I can’t die in this elevator.

I was trying so hard to keep my eyes open. I told Leonie to call the fire department, and while she dialed, I felt what it would be like to let everything go, and just surrender to death. But dying didn’t feel right. What about Bosskatie? I felt like there was something special there. I also knew that how I was living my life wasn’t good for me, and that I could do better. So I refused dealths knock at my door and I turned the other cheek. For the first time in 7 years, I prayed. God, I am so sorry I left you. I know I haven’t been treating my body right. I know that I can do better. Please, I’m not ready to die. If you give me another chance at life, I will change. I promise, I will- and as more silent tears streamed down my face, the elevator door propped open and a team of firefighters helped us make our way to the ER one last time.

I didn’t end up checkin in that d

ay. After sitting in the lobby, I knew what they were going to say, that I was a mystery and they couldn’t help me. So I tapped in to my intuition, and decided that the only thing to do now, was to rest. I was on bedrest for about three weeks. At first I did nothing but slept. Once I was able to move my hands again, I started my research.

I asked Google, "What is spirituality?"

I didn’t want to go back to Christian beliefs, and I questioned religion all together, so I started exploring this other realm of power, Spirituality. I began to expand my awareness of energy and the essence that makes up all things. I started listening to guided meditations for healing. Every morning I would wake up and try to move my legs, and in the beginning, there was no movement. The early morning was always the worst, the scariest, the silent tears streaming. On the days where my hands were working, I would put on my white light healing meditations, otherwise I would have my caretaker set it up for me. I would follow the meditations with such focus and intention, bringing white light healing energy to every area of my body. I visualized a day in which I would walk again, dance again, run again, cook again, and slowly, over the course of about four weeks, I was able to move my entire body.

Here is where the journey toward my passion really begins.

I was coming up on my 24th birthday on the Summer Solstice of 2014. I was walking again, though I was still very much healing from self-diagonsed Stage 4 Adrenal Fatigue. Your adrenal glands regulate your hormones, and when emotional, mental, and physical stress become too much, your adrenals can stop functioning properly. In my case, they had stopped functioning at all and had completely compromised my nervous system. Anyhow, I was feeling better, I was ALIVE, and I had a new outlook on life. So, my friend showed me the flyer for a music festival in Oregon over my birthday weekend, and we decided to go. I was a little bit nervous, but I knew that if I were going to die it would have already happened, and if worse came to worst, I could just relax in the tent and be with nature. Sounded like a great plan to me, and I had never been to a transformational festival before. They were offering yoga, workshops, art installations, two stages of music, food vendors, and even a hookah lounge. It sounded like the perfect way to celebrate my birthday, and my life.

The morning of my birthday, I walked into the forest where a yoga class was about to be held. There were wooden platforms for us to set up on, and huge dreamcatchers floating in the trees. As I laid beneath the branches, staring up at all of the beautiful dream catchers, I melted with gratitude. There just had to be more to life then what I had been living. As I looked around at all of the beautiful people dressed in all sorts of different ways, I felt for the very first time that it was okay to be me, exactly how I was in that very moment.

Life felt completely different then it ever had before. I felt like I could breathe for the first time. It was almost as if I could see magic floating in the air. A certain essence was dancing through the trees and feathers that hung from these beautiful art pieces. As I gazed at the dreamcatchers, I thought about dreams. What were my dreams? If I wasn’t going back to modeling, what was I going to do? In that moment it didn’t even matter. All of my worries melted away. I didn’t know it at the time, but a few years later, I would be the one making the dreamcatchers for that very forest.

That weekend at What the Festival was a turning point in my life. I fell in love with festivals, and I knew deep in my heart that I wanted to build a career in the industry. I had no idea what that was going to look like, only that I had found my home. I met a very cute man at that festival that I dated for a couple of years when I moved from Seattle to Portland, and his unconditional love towards me healed me in so many ways. I was able to heal from my eating disorder completely, started a yoga practice, practiced gratitude and self-acceptance, and used mirror therapy to deepen my connection to myself. I even went so far as to give myself therapy in the camera, talking to myself and then watching it back. This practice gave me another perspective of myself. It was as if I was observing myself from the eyes of Source. An outside observer.

This is when the downloads started pouring through. I continued my journey in festivals, first as an attendee, then a volunteer, a staff member, an artist, and eventually I began blogging and was attending festivals as media. I started to realize that this culture, this unconditionally loving, non-judgmental, expressive, artistic, supportive community, was something our society needed more of. I received guidance from Spirit that I would be the one (or one of the ones) to bridge the gap between festival culture and society. I saw a vision of a reality show about myself, and other conscious influencers who were here for a similar mission. Just like my 7-year-old self, I could see that the world lacked love. After having gone through my own journey of turning self-hate into self-love (and I’m talking deep self-love, compassion, and transformation), I knew I could use my story to help inspire others to do the same. My story of image and identity is something relatable to many, and I believe that everyone has a magical being inside of them waiting to be fully acknowledged and expressed.

So I started drafting this dream in my mind of becoming a world-wide influencer, a new-age celebrity, a famous YouTuber, and an author. I became so comfortable with my path and my process and my perceived flaws, that I made a vow to God/Spirit that I would expose myself, my raw, authentic, true self, in hopes that my full self-expression would encourage others, and make them feel safe to express themselves too.

Fast forward a few more years and I moved from Portland, Oregon to Phoenix, Arizona. This time I had a pretty clear direction, and a vision for the life I wanted to create. I knew I was going to meet powerful world leaders, because I could feel that I was cultivating that within myself. Bosskatie started to be known in the festival circuits, and people were starting to see my light and my influence. I began to develop a brand, @bosskatie, a social media icon, a festival influencer, and a reality TV star. I like to personify her as a 5th dimensional being living in a 3rd dimensional world, learning what it means to be human, while also teaching humans about their higher states of consciousness.

When I first moved to Arizona, things didn’t work out according to plan. Apparently, I still had a LOT to learn about the law of attraction and manifestation. I met my twin flame, which opened up another dark-night-of-the-soul story, and I encountered many roadblocks to making my dreams come to life. However, even whilst the roadblocks appeared, there were other signs from the Universe that I was still on the right path. For example, I met Aluna Dragon, another intergalactic influencer/musician with similar dreams of being a Star, and now we are on this journey together, creating a reality show that documents our growth in the entertainment industry, while storytelling our personal journeys and relating to our audiences.

My passion lies in my service to humanity through the unfolding of my true potential, and the willingness to put myself out there as a public figure. I never dreamed of becoming famous, rather it was an inevitable outcome of the work I am here to do. I had to make peace with it. I had to embrace Bosskatie, and everything that comes with it. Responsibility, a following, a platform, a voice for change (real change). Our society is deeply programmed with limiting beliefs. I was once programmed with limiting beliefs too. But over the years, witnessing the miracles and unfolding of a totally unique path, I have dismantled a lot of those outdated belief systems and I feel peace and harmony within myself, and that is what I am here to teach. How to find balance, truth, passion, peace, and love.

I am here to speak up for those who are too afraid to speak. I am here to create a platform for others to succeed. My dream is to help the dreams of others come to life, and the resources are making their way to me. In fact, this Friday I am hosting a party called “Is This A Dream?” and it is a content creation party for creative individuals to come together and make art. We will be filming another music video for Aluna Dragon (our fourth one together), as well as scenes for the fourth episode of Bosskatie Entertainment, which is the short film/reality TV series that you can find on YouTube. In episode 4, Aluna Dragon and Bosskatie are leaving Arizona to go on a travel adventure to specific destinations that Spirit is guiding them to. As we travel, we will be filming episodes and music videos along the way, meeting people, building our platforms, and connecting more dots on this mission to help save humanity.

One of the ways I plan to fund our travels is through a membership-based platform. I set up a Patreon a few years back when I first started vlogging on YouTube, but I didn’t stick with it. I haven’t built a fan base on any membership-based platforms yet, but it is something I am currently working towards. I would like to use a member-based platform for exclusive behind-the-scenes content, special merchandise, discounts on tickets to future performances, Live Q & A sessions, and editing tutorials. I am currently enrolled in a Media Communications degree through Full Sail University, so I am sharpening my skills and knowledge in all things media. I am passionate aboutcreating meaningful, purpose driven content, storytelling, and all creative aspects of video and film. I hope to share my knowledge in every way that I can.

I plan to use a membership-based platform so that my invested supporters can get involved in the evolution of the show. I love co-creating and working in teams. I have had dreams of my show being picked up by Netflix once I have enough episodes to pitch. I don’t know the exact timeline for this, but what I do know is that at some point in time, I will have a full-fledged media team that follows me around to festivals worldwide, documenting the culture and my personal journey towards becoming a performer and public figure. Eventually I will throw festivals around the world with the help of my team (which has been forming for years), and we will stay in each community to help build systems for better economies.

This blueprint in front of me is called the rest of my life. I have a definite chief aim, and am highly intuitive with my inner guidance system, which means that every day I am dedicated to making this dream a reality. I am passionate about helping people heal, and uncover the beauty and magic within. I can literally feel energy spiraling through my heart as I type these words, for it is these words being written that heightens my manifestations. For it is your eyes, your very eyes, that are integrating what I am saying, perhaps resonating in some way, and contemplating if this story is worthy. Is Bosskatie, a conscious creator, up-and-coming influencer, fearless leader, dedicated healer, someone you can believe in?

I know the answer to that. The question is, do you? Because no matter what, I won’t be stopped. This is happening, and every fiber of my being knows it. My frequency will emanate, radiate, and penetrate the darkness that has plagued this place we call home. My story was designed to relate. In fact, we all have so much in common, it is our personal stories that differentiate, but beneath the surface we are all the same. We all have fears, we all have faith, and we all have a body that tells us when something is wrong, or right. If only I could touch the souls of those in pain and tell them it will be okay. I have a video on Youtube called, Katie Shay Saves the Day, because I really do care. I’ve even had people tell me I should run for president one day. I don’t know about that, but hey, maybe.

So, I will take every opportunity I can get to put myself out there, knowing that the right eyes will see me. The right souls will recognize me. So thank you for being here today. I love you, as I love all things. The light, the dark, and everything in between.

Finally.

Xoxo,

@bosskatie

Linktree to all the things: https://linktr.ee/bosskatie