Beaver County | Andrew Lloyd The Man In The Mirror

A few years ago, as I waited in line at the Beaver County, PA DMV, I met an older man named Andrew. I thought it was weird because my name is also Andrew. Most of you reading this will know the pains of waiting your turn at the DMV, so you may imagine how frustrated I was to be there. I had scheduled an appointment and was angry that they had not respected it. I angrily looked at my number, B27 and took a seat. Andrew saw how upset I was to be waiting.

After a while waiting, Andrew started some small talk and shared some advice that I’ll never forget. He used to own a small convenience store and was no stranger to the casual angry tempered customer. Andrew then told me that he read something he wanted to try, in a book. The book said to place a mirror behind you on your store counter and to see the change. The book didn’t tell him why, but just to try it and see the results.

Not really sure of what would happen, Andrew went out to the nearest furniture store and found the largest mirror he could get. He placed it on the wall right behind his desk in his Beaver PA home and waited for his first interaction of the day. This would be calling Comcast about the internet bill. To my surprise, I was different than I had been before. I was calmer and nicer to the service rep on the phone, much more than usual. I had a more mellow attitude.

Andrew said he wasn’t really sure what it was about the mirror that made him act differently. That changed on the night his family came into his office to argue about how long he was working. Andrew walked out to the front of the desk to confront his family and that was when he saw his reflection on the mirror. He froze in place and paid attention to his reflection. His features were distorted and bent out of place. He slowly came to the realization of why his attitude had changed. Andrew told his family that he would shut down the computer and head for dinner.

“We all act on impulse but we act differently when we can see what we look like. I didn’t really like what I saw in the mirror,” Andrew had told me when I ran into him again in Beaver, PA.

I was the reflection in the mirror.

Honest-miss put it best:

"I think it's hard to step outside of yourself when you're in a storm of emotion.

A lot of emotions that you act on, like anger and joy and sadness, seem to come from other underlying, quieter feelings. Anger especially seems to come mostly from anxiety, depression, or frustration. That swirl in particular does a great job of shutting out any input from the outside, sweeping you up in emotion that just has to get OUT, OUT, OUT.

I think that a person in a real, loud rage isn't far off from a person experiencing a panic attack. They're swept up in the feeling. They're lost in it. And they're definitely not processing how they look to others, or what impact they're having.

Showing a person how they've behaved after the fact seems like a great way to influence their behavior, because it comes after the swirl. It gives them a chance to really process, when their mind isn't shut down."

Personal growth can be achieved through self-reflection. You need to be honest with yourself, notice patterns of behavior, set core values, be forgiving and keep track of your self-reflection. See yourself in the mirror to position yourself for growth.

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