Valentine Coaster

Valentine’s Day is a day every one of us either looks forward to with nervous anticipation, or dreads. Depends on our status – taken, single; and how long we’ve been there. Is the relationship or breakup new? Welcome the advent of Galentine’s Day – a day where women can gather with their girlfriends and be loved regardless of the presence of any significant other. In any case, here’s an anti-Valentine’s playlist. This was hard – as a metal lover, there’s a lot of anger and sadness to draw on, and what else can produce anger and sadness like being lonely after a failed relationship? I enjoy other genres so there’s a mix here that I hope everyone can identify with. XO, Felicia.

I’ll start by saying that I love and hate Valentine’s Day in equal measure. Surprisingly, I’ve always been single on Valentine’s Day for as long as I can remember – or maybe my memory is bad. I love that it’s about love – the mushy gushiness about it makes me smile. I like seeing my friends happy. I hate that it creates an expectation for our loved ones to come through, and ultimately makes us feel like crap when they can’t, or don’t. Even if we had agreed with them not to, sometimes we expect something anyways. Guess what? There’s a song for that:

“Don’t Let Me Drown” Tabitha Nauser summarizes how I feel when I think of my long-term, stable relationship that I ultimately ended because we were holding each other back. My partner was loving and I never questioned if he’d be there in an emergency. I felt safe and loved – and smothered. I saw him regretting good decisions he made for himself, and a lack of support for my growth. So I found a way not to drown, but I miss the safety and familiarity of someone who cared. Which brings me to:

“I Want That for You” by 3 Pill Morning, because we all want to be with someone who wants us too. It’s so hard and disappointing to be in a one-sided relationship; like we’re waging war on ourselves. Next on this music journey to:

“World War Me” by Theory of a Deadman. Lewd music videos and party personality aside, this song is as relatable as they come.

While we’re on the topic of Theory of a Deadman, I’d like to bring up “Bitch Came Back.” As tacky as I find this song in its heteronormative patriarchal sentiment, I find the absurdity of an old S.O., or worse – a repeat fling– coming back for another chance (as if there ever was one) extremely hilarious.

Speaking of hook-ups and being on different wavelengths – ‘you’ll never meet my mom/strings will never be attached/we’ll always get along because it doesn’t have to last…it’s just your typical hardcore Casual Sex’ by My Darkest Days. Can I just ask, what makes a person continuously come after another for five years in the face of being blocked? It’s annoying, bordering on harassment. I hate stupidity with a vengeance; and excuse me if I classify a response to “you’re an idiot, leave me alone” as a mentally incapable level of stupid, or just disrespectful.

Which brings me to “No More Little Miss Nice B*tch” by Kaleido. This one is for all the b*tches who know they look good, and can serve it up to any person who isn’t worth their time.

We all know we aren’t always able to serve it up, and it’s ok to step away and gather our strength. Manson isn’t in vogue anymore so here’s a Sepultra cover of “Tainted Love.”

After tainted love, who couldn’t do with a little, or a lot, of amnesia with Powerman 5000’s “Black Lipstick”? On the same note, let’s “Kill This Love” with some help from Blackpink.

Leaving a reminder here that we own our worlds with “And So It Went” by The Pretty Reckless.

Sometimes love is an addiction. Our experts remind us that this is a symbol of an unhealthy relationship where lust and obsession proceed logic. A psychology professor I once had said that love is an intention and follow-through, not lust. I’m sure we can all remember what it feels like to be a lust fueled teenager with Dope’s “Addiction” – and hopefully we’ve grown out of unhealthy addictive romances. If not, maybe “Always” by the same group is more the speed our nostalgia would prefer.

For those who maybe think about stepping out on agreed-to monogamous relationships, and choose not to, I applaud you and I proudly stand with you. I empathize with everyone who’s been in a one-sided monogamous relationship and found out some other way with “Rumor Has It” by Mushroomhead.

We’re all “Survivor”s – Destiny’s Child. No explanation needed. Can I just say that I reach my creative and productive peak after a break-up? There’s something extraordinarily therapeutic about pouring that energy into something new.

Perhaps amongst my favorite break-up songs include Asking Alexandria’s “I Don’t Need You” and “Antisocialist,” because, well, leave me alone. On those same lines are Wage War’s “Stitch” and The Browning’s “Disconnect”. Who really needs social media constantly reminding us of our ex’s anyways?

The most depressing part is watching someone be pushed around, which kind of reminds me of Mudvayne’s “A Cinderella Story.” Sadly, this song also reminds me of when my ex-fiancee accused me of manipulating him during my hypoglycemic seizure where my blood sugar was 20mg/dL and I really don’t remember anything except I woke up in a hotel room in a different state and he was angry. I still don’t remember much, and this is a particularly painful thing for me to talk about. At least while single, when I’m alone when I pass out, I don’t feel so abandoned when I wake up. Diabetes has definitely kept me in toxic relationships and workplaces in a country without universal healthcare, but nothing hurts quite like that.

Moving on; Bullet for My Valentine is notoriously good for break-up music, so I’m “Over It.”

We’ve all known the person who always goes for someone that isn’t good for them. I’m guilty of being that person myself – see “The Blues” by Self-Deception, since we were definitely lying to ourselves when we thought those relationships would work out.

Ill Nino’s “I’m Not the Enemy” is definitely one for those who have borne the stress of providing for multiple people with someone who isn’t pulling their weight.

Can I just take a moment to thank myself for making an “Exxxit” (3Teeth)?

The best part of being single is that it’s “My Life My Rules” (Combichrist), and I’m free to be on a “Treasure Chest Party Quest” (Alestorm). No more “Some Sh*t About Love” (Saliva) to interfere with my “All Hail Science” (Allegaeon) agenda. Just kidding, by the way.

I’m going to leave it there for you all to enjoy the rest. I know it’s very sporadic and there’s no continuity between the genres, but feel free to skip and re-organize! Happy Anti-Valentine’s to all.