The Renaissance Woman Sips Her Own Unapologetic "Accidental Wine"

"Accidental Wine" is not bold. Accidental Wine does not inflict uncomfort because it’s not in your face. Instead, the searing ebbs and flows of hope The Renaissance Woman finds herself in as an American woman who will not stand for her womanism to be silenced is the unapologetic statement we all need.

The Renaissance Woman "Play It Please" (YouTube 2019)

The Renaissance Woman lays it all out on the table in her latest project Accidental Wine. This selection of ten songs is curated to prominent piano chords and laced with heavy, but whimsical lyrics. Each track is like a diary entry, often recounting in vivid detail her questions of purpose, responses to unrequited love, the admittance of self-doubt, and the strive to be defined by more than just her body on the journey of self-empowerment. Accidental Wine is honest and heart-wrenching as The Renaissance Woman brings us to her pain and allows it to filter through us. While we stand to evaluate the aftermath, The Renaissance Woman leaves us on a reminiscent note, asking, “where did all the time go?” in her final track, “Old Houses, Empty Fields”. It’s an examination all too familiar to those in our early twenties. Accidental Wine is not bold. Accidental Wine does not inflict discomfort because it’s not in your face. Instead, the searing ebbs and flows of hope The Renaissance Woman finds herself in as an American woman who will not stand for her womanism to be silenced is the unapologetic statement we all need.

Here’s an unedited track-by-track breakdown of Accidental Wine by The Renaissance Woman, which I decided to include to express exactly how I was feeling as I listened to each song. There were quite a few lyrics that I couldn’t let go unnoticed:

This Body: Haunting. Sad. “I’m more than this body. Can I feel love again? Can I feel alright again? See me through the night again? Thinking God if I make it, I’ll go help the world. Can I feel alive again?” Piano echos fill the room. Imagine playing in an empty room. Grand white piano. Theatre lights down. Single spotlight.

Play It Please: “Pocketbook notes and American dreams” Quiet and pretty. “Pretend I’m free. If I sing about boyfriends and bass guitars will you play it?” Makes me nostalgic and long for something that maybe I’ll never get. Clawing at the ceiling trying to get someone to notice you. Changing yourself to conform just to make someone fall in love with you. Contorting yourself like an acrobatic. “I’m a fighter. A failure. I’m finally free.”

Magic and Heroes: “Usually you grow up and [are] told you shouldn’t care. I believe in fairies, but you call them fireflies. I believe in magic every time I close my eyes. You believe in logic, but it isn’t what it seems.” Whimsical. Mystical. Whirring in the background. I imagine running through a field at dusk. “I doubt you see a hero every time you look at me.” Battling with someone who’s a hopeless romantic and someone analytical. A painful combination. “Freedom’s like a patch of grass beneath my favorite tree.”

RVA Interlude: “When you first see me I’m not sure what you see at all.” Nature sounds. Twinkling. Ukulele? Standstill. At peace.

Accidental Wine: “And I usually would be misunderstood. I don’t know why. When I leave, will you stand by? Music brings color to a world unseen. Dancing on the dusted boards of this sunken dream.” Peter Pan? Imagining Wendy walking to the end of a plank, about to jump. Almost like falling in love? Doubting if it’s really worth the risk because you don’t think you’re good enough. Opinions filling your head. This could be a dead end.

Sweetheart: “Boys will be boys. And girls will be girls. I can’t let it take a piece of me. The price of being free. I strive to exist. All they see when I walk down the street is a piece of meat. When will they let me be free?” Saxophone. A jazzy feminist anthem about standing your ground as a woman.

In No Particular Order: “I found the infinite thing in my pocket. Slightly wonderful and it’s a good thing. It’s a good thing. Most of these things never last too long. Under the maps, in the office in Paris, my dear. Tell me the secrets that I wanna hear.” Pacing the floor. A single office light on. Your lover hasn’t answered the phone, and you’re drowning in the silence of uncertainty.

I See You (Do You See Me): “We only last a few moments. I hope you don’t mind if I would combine some moments of mine with moments of you. I see you. Do you see me? How glad I’d be if you saw me?” Here for a second, gone the next. Wanting to spend life together. This is what rekindled love feels like, but you’re with the wrong person. Fogged mirrors. Falling invisible, and just wanting to catch the glance of the person you love. Maybe if he just looked at you, he’d fall hard. But that will probably never happen.

Stranger in a Dream: Lots of pianos. “All that I ask is to know who you really are. Dreams never last. A string in my chest pulls me in every direction. I wonder if I only felt good because I was distracted.” Empty bed. Cold sheets. Knowing something is up, and unsettling in your chest. It gives me the lonely and tugging feeling of Sara Bareilles’ “Gravity.” I get the feeling like I’m standing in the middle of a party, but can’t hear the music. Hot face. Ambient sound and life is just happening to you. This is a total heartbreak. When you’ve tried and tried, and you’re on your last leg. It’s virtually hopeless after all of this time.

Old Houses and Empty Fields: “I feel them so softly like a kiss you’ll never give. You laughed inside the salty air. Barefoot running in a market. Seeing you by chance.” Maybe there’s hope? It’s a single glimmer really. Aging and living out the final days before it officially ends. It’s really all just flowing through your fingers now. Lost grip. Pictures laying on the floor. The nostalgia of what once was. Hollow. Is it even worth rebuilding?

This project is both solemn and optimistic from a realist romantic. While The Renaissance Woman didn't get swept off her feet in this one, her lyricism shows her truth as it is saturated in candid accounts of love lost and closure gained.

You can listen to "Accidental Wine" here on Spotify.

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Courtney Lowry
Courtney Lowry
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Courtney Lowry

Courtney Lowry is a recent graduate from SCAD Atlanta with a BFA in Photography. Her writing touches based on issues other shy away from such as black rights, womens rights, and mental health stigmas. Instagram: @courtneyllowry

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