The Playlist That Saved My Life

One day while searching for a My Chemical Romance CD, I accidentally came across the band H.I.M. I had no idea or cogitation who this band was, however, I really appreciated their album art. With some hesitation, I thought "what the Hell" and decided to give them a try.

I had no indication that my life was about to forever change. The words to every song resonated with me on such a level that it was hauntingly emotional and beautiful. I felt every word deep in my soul as if the utterances were meant just for me. Sometimes I would literally find tears trickling down my cheeks. This was no conventional crush or a common obsession. This was my life that this man was so perfectly vocalizing, utilizing "the tried and true James Dean formula, where sensitivity and edginess immaculately joined one another.

That voice..the weepings of his soul..what else can I say?

The main songwriter of HIM is vocalist Ville Valo. His songs largely deal with themes of love, pain, and depression. When discussing his songwriting process, Valo explained: [quote] "I didn't know how to cope with the world. Then I found an instrument, and through that, I realized, that I am able to cope with the world and its evils, a bit better, through writing songs."

Valo's lyrics have been described as "oozing with blood-dripping hearts and gothic melodrama". His voice and his words pulled me through some unbearable times in my life. I'd cry myself to sleep listening to the aching, baritone voice of the only person who truly understood my pain.

1. The Funeral Of Hearts - H.I.M

When my daddy died, I listened to this song at least two times a day for six months. Even now when I'm missing him, whenever I feel defeated, blue, or empty I play it on repeat.

Love's the funeral of hearts

And an ode for cruelty

When angels cry blood

On flowers of evil in bloom

The funeral of hearts

And a plea for mercy

When love is a gun

Separating me from you

2. Join Me In Death - H.I.M

The song that literally saved my life. I had contemplated ending my own life on more than one occasion. Life was hard, I felt alone, I honestly felt abandoned, forsaken, and abominated. So many nights whilst alone in the dark with my own haunted thoughts....this song got me through.

We are so young

Our lives have just begun

But already we are considering

Escape from this world

3. Knowing Me, Knowing You - H.I.M

When I finally found myself again and began to realize my worth,merit, and, value...when I learned to love myself again. This song took me by the hand and led me right out of the door from my old ways and into a beautiful, happy, new life.

No more carefree laughter

Silence ever after

Walking through an empty house

Tears in my eyes

Here is where the story ends

This is goodbye

Knowing me, knowing you,

There is nothing we can do

Knowing me, knowing you,

We just have to face it, this time we're through

Knowing me, knowing you

It's the best I can do

I can't help but feel somewhat torn and guilty as I have been in an unadvertised, unexposed, secretive relationship with Gerard Way for many, many years.

" Baby, you helped me too, more than you'll ever know and you will always have a warm place on my playlist."

4. Famous Last Words - My Chemical Romance

I am not afraid to keep on living

I am not afraid to walk this world alone

Honey, if you stay

I'll be forgiven

Nothing you can say can stop me going home

'Cause I see you lying next to me

With words I thought I'd never speak

Awake and unafraid

Asleep or dead

THANK YOU FOR SAVING MY LIFE!