La Lune: A Playlist

I’ve always had a special relationship with the Moon. I grew up on a horse farm in rural Ohio, with a vast sky. I admired his beauty. I became magnetically pulled towards astrology and tarot as a life calling at age ten. My fascination with the Moon grew.

Many mistakenly think of him as feminine, but every ancient culture had a masculine deity to represent him. To the ancient Sumerians, forefathers of astrology, he was Nanna. To ancient Egyptians, he was Khonsu. In Norse mythology, he was Máni. In tarot, he is The Hermit, a lord of the underworld and a light in the darkness.

I understand some want to make him the feminine counterpart of the Sun. What they don’t understand is that Earth is the feminine counterpart of the Sun. In tarot, the Sun is The Emperor, and Mother Earth is The Empress. In the Bible, which is purely metaphorical, using parables and symbolism, Adam and Eve are the Sun and Earth. The father and mother of all mankind. Earth is a womb that nourishes our physical bodies with her abundance, and we are made of stardust. The Sun is the brightest star we know; the center of our universe; essential for our survival; and Father Time, which we base our entire understanding of a day, week, month, and year around. Don’t we humans structure our lives around this concept of time?

The Moon is more like the Sun’s twin brother. They’re both luminaries, giving off light, even if the Moon reflects the light of the Sun instead of generating his own. In spirituality, light is masculine and dark is feminine. Light represents consciousness, clarity, awareness—that which we can see and understand. Dark represents unconscious emotions and subconscious thoughts.

In a natal chart, the Sun represents the self, the true and authentic self we spend our lives discovering. This process of self discovery is known as enlightenment. The Moon shines a light on the shadow self we must reclaim, integrating our dark with our light to achieve balance. He rules the astrological sign of Cancer. Just as he reflects the light of the Sun that has become a part of him in his radiance, Cancer is the sign of self-reflection. In a natal chart, Cancer rules an area of life where we must dig deep within ourselves like The Hermit, shining a light on what is hidden.

I understand some people who fancy themselves astrologers will never be able to accept this fact. They insist the Moon is feminine, representing motherhood. Their confusion lies in the fact that the Moon does have a feminine counterpart. She co-rules the sign of Cancer with him. She is Black Moon Lilith, the blackness of the sky on a New Moon. She is the archetype of the Dark Mother. In Hinduism, Black Moon Lilith and the Moon are Kali and Shiva. She stands atop him. In tarot, she is The High Priestess, and the Moon is at her feet.

Masculinity exists to serve and protect femininity. But that’s a conversation most aren’t ready for.

My story “Moonrise” is entirely fictional. It’s the beginning of a magical realism novel I’ve wanted to write for quite some time, inspired by the book of Revelation. I wanted to create a woman character who is a modern day prophet, able to see and understand things those around her cannot. I wanted to place her in the midst of our current events and worldly chaos.

However, I believe every healer must heal themselves, and every clairvoyant prophet must see themselves. Her story of healing comes from my experiences. I don’t want to write about my childhood trauma. I don’t want to relive it, or inflict it on others. I do want to lead by example, and let my light shine. Cancer rules my 4th house, house of childhood and family. When I reflect on what I went through, I’m amazed I’m still alive—not only that, I’m thriving. I’m both hopeful and grounded. I feel safe in my body and in the world. It was not always this way.

For two years of my life, I used every New and Full Moon to practice what Carl Jung called shadow work. Shadow work is NOT going to a therapist to talk about problems you’re consciously aware of. It’s NOT journaling feelings you’re consciously aware of. There’s no such thing as “shadow work prompts.”

To do shadow work is to tap into things your mind has absolutely no awareness of. Repressed memories, repressed feelings, repressed thoughts. To do shadow work, you must be in an altered state of consciousness. This requires things like deep meditation (which most people claiming to meditate have no clue how to do, because it can take hours, and they’re too impatient), hypnotism, or the use of psychedelic plant medicines.

However, not all of us can afford regular sessions with a hypnotist, or to go do ayahuasca in the jungle with a shaman for a few years. And shadow work doesn’t happen overnight. To do it on your own takes commitment and devotion. You have to want it badly. And you need an experienced guide. I was fortunate enough to have a connection to my angels, or what the kids call “spirit guides” these days. I did use indica strain edibles at first, which would make a great story for “Potent” here on Vocal.

For the entirety of the two years I did shadow work, I shared my journey online. I had a YouTube channel, a Patreon, courses on Teachable.com, a Discord, a Ko-Fi where people could hire me as a spiritual advisor. The crazy thing was, people paid me hundreds of dollars to ignore my advice. They flat out refused to meditate using my detailed instructions. They came up with every excuse under the Sun for why they couldn’t try. Some were remarkably outrageous. A client said she couldn’t meditate in the bathtub for forty minutes because her stepsister masturbated there earlier that year, leaving behind dark energy. Another said he couldn’t meditate in silence on a full moon because he felt called to watch The Matrix—a film that was released twenty-two years prior to that night!

Why don’t people want to heal? Why are they so afraid to be alone with themselves? I’ll never understand, or have sympathy. They’re not just harming themselves. Humanity cannot advance with everyone so broken, and they’re trauma dumping on those closest to them. We hurt the ones we love so long as we’re hurt. It makes me livid thinking about it.

But having completed my shadow work, I no longer attract those who resist it. We are not a vibrational match. No one can save anyone but themselves. All I can do is live my life, share my experiences, and inspire those who choose to follow that path of recovery through taking their own first steps.

This playlist means the world to me. All my playlists do. There’s nothing more spiritual than music, but not all music is made with pure intentions. When music is manufactured to produce sales, it’s like ingesting toxic food over organic.

I know most won’t listen to my advice or my playlists. I’ve learned much of what I do is for me. My kindred spirits will resonate with it in their hearts, but I’m ahead of my time. It takes a minute for others to catch up. That’s how it is when you’re a visionary, an artist. You have to see it before others, and then embody it, so they can see it in you.

Good music is just good; it transcends race, culture, genres, decades. I especially like music that is soft and melodic, because of how it makes me feel euphoric and relaxed. I remember being a child, listening to what was termed “easy listening” and “adult alternative.” Guess I’m an old soul. Not every song on this playlist is modern soul, but many are. The vibe is soulful and magical. I hope you enjoy.

Highlights from my playlist:

The entire playlist (3 hours):