I Am The Highway
Seeing ones self as more than who we and others think we are
I am The Night.
When I began my journey home to myself. When I finally realized I was with everyone else but me. When I had no idea who and what I truly was...
My inner compass of intuition and guidance continued to bring Audioslaves lyrics from "I Am The Highway" into my mind over and over again. The song played on repeat in my head and I played it for my ears to hear just as often.
Every cell in my body needed to hear that chorus. Every part of my past needed to know that I am not the sum of my past experiences, traumas and self neglect. My future was calling out to me and asking me to be brave and steady and to find peace walking this next bit of road alone.
"I was lost in the cities, alone in the hills."
Up until this point I had been lost in the comings and goings of everyone surrounding me. I had forgotten about myself , I had no idea who I was without others. Even when I was by myself I couldn't find myself. I was alone.
I felt this incessant call to open up. To let go. To believe. To know that something greater existed inside of me. This truth was knocking and I was terrified. I needed to answer this call and trust that it was the right thing to do even when everyone around me seemed against it and against me.
"Friends and liars don't wait for me,'Cause I'll get on all by myself. I put millions of miles under my heels; And still too close to you, I feel, yeah."
My connections with others were born from my own incessant needs to keep myself safe, to be loved, to be heard, to be valued, to be right. Even though I continued the exploration of who I was, at times I still got caught in my old ways of being. When I became stuck these lyrics would find their way into my head again. They reminded me of who I am and who I am not as well as whether my closeness to others was the key to what needed to be healed and let go of next.
"I am not your..." ideas of what I am meant to be.
The hardest piece of self evolution is the realization that everyone in your life has an idea of who and what you are and you have been complacent in this by walking and talking and fullfilling their ideas of you. Even though you want to change, you know you have to change, you keep showing up just the way they predict you to be. I think this is the place that we often get discouraged. It's in these moments when I return to the chorus of this song and remember;
"I am not your rolling wheels – I am the highway.
I am not your carpet ride – I am the sky.
I am not your blowing wind – I am the lightning.
I am not your autumn moon – I am the night... the night."
At each peak of my self evolution I am remined that I am not your ...
I am The Night.
Endless. Beautiful. Unknown. Unpredictable.
Thank you Adioslave for answering your call...
You are thanked by ALL.