I grew up on 2pac, Biggie, Escape, Bobby Brown, and Erykah Baydu. You knew that it was a cleaning day when you heard "Mr. Telephone man, there's something wrong with my line", coming from the kitchen. I used to live for those days. The days when my family and I would congregate in the kitchen; clean, and sing at the top of our lungs. I feel as if music runs through my veins, I may not be able to sing, but I can hold a tune, and I know for a fact I don't know how to dance, but I damn sure know how to do the side step and clap.
Music saves my life everyday. I know that sounds extremely dramatic, but it does, and it always will. I don't know where I would be without it honestly. When I hear that there are some people don't like music it baffles me and I honestly think that those people that listen to podcasts in the car are psychopaths. As a person that tends to struggle with obsessive tendencies music is something I can control, music is something that I can get lost in and do so frequently. I don't mean to sound all "woo woo", but I can talk about music and how it makes me feel all day, everyday.
Imagine this; you have had the worst day in the history of days, but no one seems to understand how you feel. You feel alone with your thoughts and all you want to do is be around someone or someones who get it; who get you. Then, all of a sudden your remember that there is a guy out there named Mac Miller and he writes songs about having bad days and bad moments. So you pull out your phone and pull up his playlists and you find a song called "Sunlight" where he talks about it being so dark outside, that he figured he needed to turn a couple motherf*cking lights on. The song consumes you as he goes on about how life is short but you can get through it; "just run to the sunlight". Now, lets say that the song doesn't get your goat, so you switch over to and artist named Amy Winehouse, and she rocks your world because her "Tears Dry On Their Own" and yours will too. She gets, you and you get her.
I can't make up how much music has impacted my life. I'm not one to express my feelings, when I feel like my words fail me I find a song that can say what I can't. Now, that is some powerful sh*t let me tell you! I have created a list of songs that I feel have changed my life. My musical tastes are all over the place and I think there is beauty in that. I encourage you to give them all a listen. They may just change you life.
#1: "You Know I'm No Good" Amy Winehouse
"I cheated my self, like I knew I would
I told you that I was trouble
you know that I'm not good."
Home girls voice has always been comforting to me, like a warm hug. Shes honest with her struggles, she never sugar coated that and for that I love her. I think if more people did that we would be living in a different world.
#2: "Eggs Aisle" Mac Miller
"I'm in the lab, suited up performing alchemy
Meditating til I'm levitating out my seat
It all started with a Pay Pal
Dripped up and draped out
It's all good, you safe now"
This man... was beautiful, he was another musician that was open about his struggle with addiction, and although I have never struggled with that he made me feel like he understood my sadness as well as my resilience. I believe that this song in particular is one of his best.
#3: Hometown Glory" Adele
"I've been walking in the same way as I did
missing all the cracks in the pavement and turning my heel and
strutting my feet---
I'm not lost just wandering"
Obviously, Adele is notorious of making one shed a tear, and this song gets me every time. I am a wanderer by nature, I run from things rather than facing them it's one of my fatal flaws,and for some reason this songs reminds me that I shouldn't run. Home may just be where you need to be. Weird right?
#4 "Mirror" Justin Timberlake
"I don't want to lose you know
I'm lookin right at the other half of me
The vacancy that sat in my heart
is a space that now you hold"
This is one of those "I'm sad and want to stay sad" songs. It's really beautiful visually and lyrically. I mean it is a song about lost love, at least that's the way I see it.
#5 Maria, Maria" Santana
"Maria, Maria she remind me of a westside story
growing up in Spanish Harlem
She's living life just like a movie star"
This my friends was one of the Saturday morning cleaning songs. The guitar, the lyrics everything about it just gives me life! If you listen to the lyrics it 100% applies to what's happening in the world around us. Honestly, truly, seriously.
#6 Bennie and the Jets" Elton John
"Say Candy and Ronnie have you seem the yet
Uh but they're so spaced out, B-B-Bennie and Jets
Oh but they're weird and they're wonderful"
Every time I hear this it gets me so hype! I will never get over how good it is. How good it makes me feel. The piano, the falsetto. I mean come on!
#7 "911/Mr. Lonely" Tyler the Creator
"I'm the loneliest man alive
but I keep dancing to throw them off
I'm gone run out of moves cause I cant groove to the blues"
A beautifully weird and talented man. I feel like being a weird black kid myself makes me appreciate him even more. I have been feeling extremely lonely recently. He just makes this not so great situations, better.
#8 "Woman" Harry Styles
"I hope you can see the shape that I'm in
while he's touching you're skin
This thing upon me, howls like a beast
you flower, you feast"
I LOVE this man. His music will be and is timeless. His tone is beautiful, his lyrics...chefs kisses. I know that he's hot now, but I have been listening to him since "Sign of The Times". I have never wanted to be someones woman so bad. This song makes me feel powerful, makes me feel that I can conquer any man, or woman...
#9 "Pressure" The 1975
"There's a change in pressure
we're never gonna lie to you
my broken veins say that if my heart stops beating
we'll bleed the same way"
Matty is extremely articulate and truly just a beautiful man. Pressure is just really sexy to me. There is just something about it. This is not the first The 1975 song on this list and that is because they are by far my favorite band. Matty writes about real things. He makes me feel understood.
#10 "Frail State of Mind"
seems unlikely, I'm sorry that I missed your call
I watched it ring
don't waste their time
I've always got a frail state of mind"
This songs speaks to me on so many levels. It is about social anxiety, which I don't necessarily struggle with, but anxiety looms over me everyday of my life. I don't normally watch music videos, but this video beautifully depicts what goes on in my mind and I assume others that struggle with that as well on the daily.
#11 "Hawaiian Mazes" Banks
"I think about when I met you though
That says that I'm just pretending
Said that I'm just scared that I'll end up alone"
Banks is so underrated and I don't know why. I think that she is amazing and the vibe of her music makes me feel like I'm in a different world. This song got me through a tough time; I was struggling with identity, and although that's not what she's talking about that's what I thought about.
#12 "Skys the Limit" Biggie
"Sky is the limit and you know that you keep on
just keep on pressin on
Sky is the limit and you know that you can
have what you want, be what you want"
This one is extremely motivating especially when I'm feeling lost. Which is almost everyday of my life. It just reminds me that there is no limit to what I can do. I mean there may be, but I'm overly optimistic about life, so there is no limit for me!
Music is extremely subjective; you see what you want to see when you close your eyes and you hear what you want to here. That's what I love about it.
Things have been really hard for me especially with the whole BLM and quarantine. I just don't feel like myself and I can imagine that others feel the same. I hope that you find solace in some of these songs, because they have helped me get through some of the toughest times of my life.