I’m an actor and director of stage and screen. But I also dabble in standup, and on this site, horror movie criticism. I’m just a guy who loves horror movies, and I like to share that love with the world.
'The Banana Splits Movie' Movie Review
The Banana Splits Movie is a horror movie based on the kids’ show of the same name from Hanna-Barbera/Sid and Marty Krofft. In this version, however, they’re not quite as cute and cuddly. A little boy named Harley (Finlay Wojtak-Hissong) is obsessed with the Banana Splits, a quartet of goofy, lovable animatronic characters who play songs and games on their TV show. When Harley gets to go to a taping of the show for his birthday, he is absolutely overjoyed. But when the show’s cast and crew are told that the show is being canned, and that this taping will be the last episode, the Splits don’t take it very well, and Harley, his mother (Dani Kind), his older brother (Romeo Carere), his douchebag stepfather (Steve Lund), his reluctant plus-one, Zoe (Maria Nash), and the rest of the studio audience end up in the path of the Splits’ murderous rage.
‘Tone-Deaf’ Movie Review
Tone-Deaf is the latest horror/comedy from Richard Bates Jr. It tells the story of a woman named Olive (Amanda Crew) who, after a nasty breakup, decides to have a little getaway to the rural South. She rents an old, rustic manor from a bitter, surly middle-aged man (Robert Patrick) who has some serious gripes about her generation of young adults. He also just so happens to be a psycho killer.
'Gwen' Movie Review
Gwen is about a Welsh farming family, who is staring down the barrel of the Industrial Revolution. The title character (Eleanor Worthington-Cox) is the older of two young girls who live with their mother (Maxine Peake), with their father off fighting in the war. Gwen is slowly watching everything in her life crumble, with her mother becoming ill with an unknown disease and a mining company attempting to destroy their way of life. But people soon become suspicious about Gwen and her family, as women in those days were often quick to be accused of witchcraft.
‘Ready or Not’ Movie Review
Ready or Not is a horror/comedy about a young woman named Grace (Samara Weaving) who is marrying into a very rich family of card game and board game manufacturers. On their wedding night, Grace’s new husband, Alex (Mark O’Brien), informs her that they have a family tradition in which everyone who becomes a new member of the family must play a randomly-selected game. When she draws the card for “Hide & Seek,” the family’s patriarch (Henry Czerny) tells her that she will be the sole objective in a family-wide game of hide-and-seek inside their enormous mansion. But once the other members of the family begin seeking her, she figures out that the game is, in fact, to-the-death, and the family has rather sinister plans for her.
'47 Meters Down: Uncaged' Movie Review
47 Meters Down: Uncaged, which is unconnected to the previous 47 Meters Down, is about two stepsisters who don’t exactly get along (a tale as old as time). When Mia (Sophie Nélisse), an oft-bullied wallflower, is persuaded by stepsister Sasha (Corinne Fox), who is much more popular and outgoing, to go scuba diving in a secluded site of submerged Mayan ruins with two of Sasha’s friends (Brianne Tju and Sistine Rose Stallone), the four discover that there is an ancient blind species of shark dwelling there.
‘Them That Follow’ Movie Review
Them That Follow is about a deep-South Pentecostal snake-handling church. When a secret love affair results in Mara (Alice Englert), daughter of pastor Lemuel (Walton Goggins), becoming pregnant, she must try to hide it from the rest of their community, especially considering that the baby’s father (Thomas Mann) had abandoned the church years ago, much to the chagrin of his parents (Olivia Coleman and Jim Gaffigan).
‘Nightmare Cinema’ Movie Review
Nightmare Cinema is a horror anthology film conceived by genre veteran Mick Garris. Several people wander into an old movie theater, and each patron is shown a horror vignette featuring themselves as the main characters. It soon becomes clear that the one showing them these stories, a mysterious figure known as The Projectionist (Mickey Rourke), is no ordinary man.
'Rock, Paper, Scissors' Movie Review
Rock, Paper, Scissors (originally titled Rock, Paper, Dead) is the long-awaited collaboration between director Tom Holland, who brought us Fright Night and Child's Play, and writer Victor Miller, who wrote the first Friday the 13th. It involves a former serial killer named Peter “the Doll Maker” Harris (Luke Macfarlane), who was sent to an insane asylum. However, he is released at the behest of his doctor, Dr. Evelyn Bauer (Tatum O’Neal), as she believes he has been rehabilitated, despite the skepticism of former police detective Doyle Dechert (Michael Madsen). Upon returning to his family home, Harris is plagued by horrific memories of his abusive uncle, and it takes an unfortunate emotional toll.
‘Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark’ Movie Review
Based on the popular trilogy of books of the same name, Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark involves a group of kids in the late sixties who sneak into an allegedly haunted house on Halloween night. After finding a book of scary stories written in blood (supposedly by a vengeful spirit), it quickly becomes clear that these local legends are true. And before long, new stories begin writing themselves—with them as the characters!
‘Crawl’ Movie Review
In Crawl, we are introduced to Hayley (Kaya Scodelario), a talented competitive swimmer who always seems to come up short in meets. When a catastrophic hurricane approaches, she goes to find her dad (Barry Pepper), who has retreated to their old family home in a state of nostalgic depression, and hasn’t been responding to her calls. She finds him lying in the crawlspace, having been wounded. The cause of his injury is soon revealed to be a large alligator, and they realize that they are trapped in the crawlspace with it. With the storm intensifying, the water rising, an increasing number of gators, and some still yet unresolved tension between the two of them, Hayley and her father must fight to survive.
‘Midsommar’ Movie Review
With a movie like Midsommar, it’s best to go in blind, but I’ll do my best to explain it without revealing too much. When Dani (Florence Pugh) has to cope with a devastating family tragedy, she decides to tag along with her unsupportive boyfriend (Jack Reynor) to a festival in Sweden, along with three of his friends. But the festivities gradually become stranger and stranger, and the group begins to suspect that danger might be in store.
'Child's Play' (2019) Movie Review
2019ʼs Child's Play differs significantly from the 1988 original in its initial setup. A new smart device called the Buddi, a hub for all your devices and a friendly electronic toy, is the hottest craze right now. When struggling single mom Karen Barclay (Aubrey Plaza) is able to snag a slightly-faulty Buddi doll that was returned to the store where she works, she gives it to her shy, friendless son, Andy (Gabriel Bateman), as an early birthday present. But what they don't know is that this particular doll was assembled by a disgruntled sweatshop worker who hacked it to develop potentially malicious intent.