This year, for Halloween ,since we are at home for the first “Quarentine-O-Ween”, I decided to build more than one costume. However, I did not anticipate that building the costume that Hedy Lamarr wore in “Ziegfeld Girl” would bring unforeseen challenges. You see, I have been sewing since I was 6 years old, so for 34 years, I have not experienced the many bumps in the road that occurred for this one costume build. I have been furloughed from my job building costumes for Universal Studios Hollywood because of Covid-19, so I figured I have the time, but time is irrelevant when you are sensing and witnessing the civil unrest that our country is experiencing. I have been besides myself, as well as somewhat grieving that my line of work is changing and very slowly, starting to finally pick up.
It was 1994, I had just returned from Mormon camp, hating life, as I was forced to go by my strict, abusive & negligent parents. Kurt Cobain had committed suicide & my Jr High School was just devastated. Kurt was the voice & the hero for my friends & myself . For me, Kurt's lyrics were a way for me to escape in my mind space, the years of verbal & physical abuse that was in my household. He understood me, his words were a blanket of comfort to me. I couldn't physically escape anywhere; I was forced to go to Mormon classes weekly. My mother, after her second divorce, became a single parent with 5 children, trying to work to support a family alone. Because of this, I would be left home alone to watch my 4 younger siblings ALL THE TIME.... I mean, I was only a kid & was forced with abuse, to watch children, when I should have had that time period to be a teenager. This may seem to be a common thread in households with cultish like religious followers, who have more children than they are capable of taking care of, but I digress. Then, it was off to school, also learning viola at that time, all while acting “normal”, like I wasn’t being broken at home. Amongst all the stress that I had as a child & teenager, Nirvana's music along with loads of Alternative rock at that time, was my safe zone. But the music can only take a person so far in their own mind, when a home life was always in shambles.