Tabitha White
Stories (24/0)
The Codependent Life
Let's talk about Codependency vs. Interdependency. Codependency in a relationship looks like one partner providing full support and fulfillment of needs for the other while in an interdependent relationship, both partners are able to meet each other’s and their own needs equally. There's a few more key differences, but we will get in to that in a minute. I want to start with this aspect because it is one that stands out the most to me. I've always sought a relationship that would be 50/50 in all aspects. I dreamt of meeting someone who would meet me in the middle while also understanding and loving who I was. I'm so lucky to have found that finally in a partner but for many years I sought relationships that were unhealthy for reasons I wasn't sure of until recently.
By Tabitha White3 years ago in Psyche
Reginald Takes Flight
Joann and Reginald were feeling restless lately and Joann was unsure why. Perhaps it was Reggie getting bigger by the day. Maybe it was each day stretching before them, just the same as the day before. Joann thought maybe they were bouncing moods off each other, though she wasn’t quite sure the emotional range a goose could hold. She knew something was up though and each day they sat and waited for something for change.
By Tabitha White3 years ago in Petlife
What's Going On
So what's really wrong with me? Anyone wondering that? Sometimes I do. My therapist says it's severe depressive disorder mixed with anxiety but my brain tries to constantly tell me there's either more than that or nothing at all and I'm making it all up. Yes, I'm so far in my disorder that I don’t trust my own symptoms and signs. I have so little trust in myself, I wonder if I have the inability to believe anything of myself. But it’s there. When I stop and look and at my situation, my life, as an outsider, I can see things a little different.
By Tabitha White3 years ago in Psyche
Alone Time
Keeping to the topic of things I’m not very good at: alone time. Being alone is my biggest fear. Yes, spiders still creep me out and small dark spaces usually trigger a panic attack, but nothing hits quite like being alone. I never know what to do with myself, and I always do the wrong things. I can be half a pack deep in cigarettes and not realize I’ve been sitting in the garage for hours doing nothing. Mindlessly scrolling social media or binge watching a show or movie series. I can get lost in something don’t get me wrong, but I’m not being productive or using my creative juices. I used to be so crafty. Even if I wasn’t good at something, I still had fun creating.
By Tabitha White3 years ago in Psyche
Self-Care
Self-care is one of the hardest things for me. I struggle with it daily. From taking an Ativan when I need it, to not picking at a wound that is trying to heal. It’s all the small things I don't do that add up to the mess I usually am at the end of the day. All because I don't take the time to take care of myself. I'm so worried about everything all the time that I let that worry consume my life.
By Tabitha White3 years ago in Longevity
Granny and Goose
It was close to Christmas and that usually meant baking and cooking and family and friends. This year was a little different though. Joann was feeling sad about the upcoming holidays because it would be the first without her husband, Earl. She didn't really feel up to her usual spread of candies and sweets and lovely dishes. She was still having her family over and for Christmas and was still planning on being part of the cooking, but she had decided to not makes sweets this year. She just didn't have the heart. How would it be without Earl there, sticking his finger into batches, burning his tongue on fresh baked cookies because he just couldn't wait, and proclaiming how delicious everything was. It brought a tear to her eye to think of it and she just couldn't imagine doing it without him here.
By Tabitha White3 years ago in Humans
Friends with Me
When the week started, I had such high hopes. I think I feel into a trap. The trap of thinking that quitting my job would solve some, if not all, of my problems. It did not. It did add some problems. And if I’m honest it did alleviate some too. I’m no longer surrounded by toxicity of others. No longer dealing with the stress of COVID and its daily impact on the health care field. However, I am still depressed. I am still going days without stepping into the shower. Still having to take Ativan to make it through certain situations. Still sitting on the couch, wishing it would just all stop for a minute. If I could get just a moment of peace from the constant stress and anxiety of just being me. Not going to work every day didn’t change the fact that I am me.
By Tabitha White3 years ago in Psyche
Traveling with Depression
Lately I've been asking myself the question, why. Why did I quit my job? Why am I writing a blog? Why am I letting people into my private life? I think I haven't been able to come up with an answer because there isn't just one. There's a whole slew of reasons. And they are all connected. And they go way back to when I was a little girl.
By Tabitha White3 years ago in Wander
The truth is...
I've been traveling with depression all my life. I'd say most of the women in my family have. Any one of them can spin you a sad, but completely true story. And a lot if them have more than one. Some don't even fully know their sad story. So, I'm predisposed you might say. Pain has passed down through the generations and run rampant in our lives. It was time somebody put a stop to it. To not allow it to pass to the next generation.
By Tabitha White3 years ago in Motivation
Traveling with Depression
My boyfriend, Todd, and I have decided to take our show on the road. And by that, I mean we are literally dropping our lives to travel the United States. Ok, so it's not quite that simple, but we are in the beginning stages of planning to make this happen within the next six months. So, you might be asking yourself, why? Why leave the comfort of four walls for an RV? Did I mention the RV? Honestly, though, this has been a dream of mine for as long as I can remember. To travel the United States, yes in an RV, and you guessed it, write. So of course, when Todd mentioned travel nursing, I was kind of in from the start. Though, I was hesitant with two young children and two dogs to consider in the picture. But this was my dream I was looking at, and a good opportunity job wise for Todd. I couldn't refuse. A few weeks later here we are: Todd talking with recruiters and RV hunting, and me creating and publishing my own website! One of these days, that could be us parked in a Class C next to a serene lake in some beautifully remote location. The prospect was enough to kick start my ambition to get my dreams up and running. Join me, as my family and I prep to venture into the unknown, writing and nursing and traveling, all while taking my depression along for ride.
By Tabitha White3 years ago in Psyche
A Granny and her Goose
Joanne and Reginald were having a new adventure today. Giving Reginald a bath. It had been long enough. The other geese weren't coming back. Joanne had been caring for the little gooseling for over a week now and had grown rather fond of it. Even named him, Reginald. So, she was going to put some water in the bathroom tub, put the goose in the water, and see what happened. She had often times seen he geese at the pond out behind her condo, paddling about on the water just like the ducks. She had wondered when she first spotted the little fluff ball if it wasn't a duck, but she had done her research on the internet and it was in fact a goose. It was still so small. She feared if it would survive without its mother.
By Tabitha White3 years ago in Petlife