Known for picking, allegedly, some of the most asinine production pieces, Nasir “Nas” Jones has collected this criticism since his inception into the rap game in 1991. But are his choices in beats really that odious?
(Disclaimer: For this list, there is at first glance, omissions. The films, DaysofDarkness (2007) and The Fall of the American Empire (2018) seem to be swept from the annals of the places like Amazon and as of this writing, the latter may not be available for purchase or rental yet. So only two of filmmaker Denys Arcand’s works in the series will be evaluated here.)
For over a decade now, the web has revolutionized lives for the good of individuals. Now, you can order pizza, a ride, transfer money, conduct video conferences with friends, and much more, all with a few swipes of a finger on a smartphone or other device. But what has not been spoken of or written about as much are the sites that paid for content. User or contributor or partner generated content has been the little secret that no one discusses about the internet. It is a conundrum wrapped in a riddled sprinkled with mystery to most folks. While gaming apps reap in billions of dollars for their makers, the sites that pay (or paid) for material have been relegated to the corner of the digital space. Names that when you speak of them to the layperson, usually draw faces of confusion or even wonder. Few news outlets have spoken of these now deceased sites and the people who possessed the opportunity to spread the message of the goodness of these sites didn’t have too much time as they changed business models, saw absorption into other companies, or found themselves rendered obsolete altogether. But the men and women who saw something curious in the universe said: this internet thing is a huge bank for the yacht-sized companies that have docked here. Why can’t people with a passion for writing or video be compensated for their efforts in these speedboats? Behemoths like YouTube have taken the model to greater heights but few other sites can boast their numbers. Salutes to these people who saw something of value remain in order. So, if you’ve heard of or never heard of the following sites on this list you can still grab your RevTags and SpyMac “Leapfrog” redesign for Why Are You Ranking: Best Defunct Websites That Paid for Content Listed from Cash Poor to Internet Wealthy.
With the roar of the crowd echoing through the air, the smell of popcorn and beer and peanuts also give the typical sports supporter a sense of witnessing the sublime. Over time, the athletes that take to the field inspire hope, hero-worship, and admiration. But after all of the lights of the ballpark or stadium have faded, all that is left is the shell of the player and if he has not achieved the ultimate goal in his field (a championship), it’s hard to take him seriously. Though such players may have racked up considerable statistics, awards, and other accolades, if they have failed to attain at least one championship during their career, the lingering question remains: how could they run a franchise or commentate on another player who has achieved a ring (or rings) as part of his efforts? As interest in sports like baseball and football dwindle and basketball seems like a predictable affair, the sportsmen who comprise this list did not skate on ice and didn’t participate in professional individual sports. Instead, their teams looked to them to get the job done and bring their respective city home a championship. Alas, all of them have fallen short of the glory of the coveted Larry O’Brien Championship Trophy, the Commissioner’s Trophy, or the Vince Lombardi Trophy, respectively. Though they put in years of practice and indeed displayed incredible skill and dedication, those trophies stood just out of reach. So, get your Shut Up and Jam video games and remember to always have laces out for, “Why Are You Ranking: Worst Ringless Sportsmen Listed from Ugly Golf Swing to Horrible Commentator."
Throughout history, man has needed to see an evil man slip on a banana peel. Thusly, the stand-up comic was created by the Greeks. It was given another name, but that’s not the point. What humor does is take aim at the issues, negativity, irony, or joyousness, and playfulness of life and condense it into bits that produce laughter in the individual. The legends that have come and gone from Lenny Bruce, Richard Pryor, and George Carlin all have made indelible marks on their journeys to the funny. But over time, a new crop of laugh factories have been produced. All of the stand-up comics that have gathered up the courage to stand in front of tens of people to tens of thousands of people and before home audiences of millions deserve their reverence, even when they’re irreverent. As the late great comic star Rodney Dangerfield would have told you, it’s tough to get any respect. With multi-million-dollar roles and an ever-increasing base generated from the internet, comedians have carved out new lanes to express their snigger-worthy material. From props, one-liners, intense, personal stories, to bits about observing human nature, comics provide an outlet for us to see ourselves and lighten up a little. So grab your ticket to the Purple Onion and call in your phone jacks for Why Are You Ranking: Best Stand-Up Comedians of the past Eleven Years Listed from Chuckle to Guffaw.
Once a darling of the cinema, actress Lindsay Lohan has experienced both the crests and the doldrums of her profession. Through bizarre run-ins with paparazzi to drug and alcohol abuse, to her romantic life being displayed on supermarket magazine covers, Miss Lohan still continues to work, although without as much fanfare or adulation. From her time as an adorable kid actor on the updated version of the The Parent Trap (1998) to the silly but profitable picture Freaky Friday (2003), Lohan was a Disney princess come to life. And of course, arguably her crowning achievement in her career, Mean Girls (2004) sent her into the film world stratosphere. But then, something happened. Or rather, nothing related to her film career happened. Sure, she came back home to Disney with Herbie: Fully Loaded (2005) but her other projects thereafter fizzled or didn’t live up to the critical or commercial expectations that her previous work had garnered. And this is the metaphor for the Decline of the American Empire. The most ethical (not to say that Miss Lohan has the highest moral standards), beautiful, young, and promising nation to ever grace the face of the planet earth has been on the downslope even before current President Trump swore the oath of office. As the descent of a starlet turned bad girl and now treated like a red-headed step child that you keep locked away in the basement, Lohan is America. For over a century, while the nation has experienced great technological strides, it has tumbled back by the axis powers of mysticism, collectivism, and altruism. It is not too late for either Miss Lohan or America. The one-time ingénue and the most moral country in human history have room enough for a comeback. Lindsay Lohan doesn’t seem headed for major collapse with her recent string of independent films and America doesn’t look like Rome during its period of downtrend. There’s hope. So, go look up the word fetch in the Urban Dictionary for Why Are You Ranking: Best Ways That Lindsay Lohan Is the Metaphor for America From Her Reckless to Her Beautiful Points.