It may come as no surprise that, as a transgender woman, I'm not always comfortable with my body. I hate my body. I hate what my body tells the world I am. I feel completely at odds with my body, and feel totally trapped by it.
Recently I've been talking about and experimenting with my deepest fantasies. Fantasies that I've kept secret for quite some time. I'm lucky that I have a partner who respects me enough to not judge me for anything, so I feel as though I'm able to be totally open with him. I feel comfortable enough to try new things with him.
If I had a pound for every time I heard someone ask me about my sex life and ask me probing questions about my body — I'd be a pretty rich woman by now. The same goes for the amount of times I've heard people ask my fellow trans friends similar questions. It seems pretty taboo that transgender people can have sex — let alone actually enjoy intimacy. It's true that we often, but not always, hate our bodies and desperately want out... but to assume we're all asexual couldn't be further from the truth.
We all have that one fantasy we wouldn't dare speak of. It's someone we dream of fucking over a desk. It's the risk of doing something in public. It's the wanting to be humiliated and degraded. It's the wanting to do something so risky, and so messed up, that it could ruin everything for us. My point is, we all have at least one fantasy in our heads that we desperately want to give a try but dare not even mention it.
BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) is, as the name suggests, a personality disorder that manifests itself in many different ways. I have been diagnosed with it myself and let me tell you this: it's pretty darn scary. One minute you're the happiest you've ever felt, then the next you've never felt worse and you're slashing your wrist with the nearest sharp object. It's an awful mental illness to be diagnosed with, and it's so misunderstood by the public.