No one knows exactly when for sure, but seemingly since the dawn of time, people have found ways to get the party started. Drinking was more than just a means to numb the ever-present pain that is directly related to human existence, it was a way to share that pain with other people in a way that pulled a veil over the harsh realities of life at the time. Practices like this evolved over the course of centuries, becoming staples in societal practices to help celebrate, mourn, show reverence, and distinguish classes of people from others. These traditions, as many a sociologist might call them, have permeated the tale of humankind in many exciting ways, allowing people of today's day and age the ability to share with our ancestors something as pure and unadulterated as getting turnt. Unfortunately though, many an inebriated young person has raised their glass to cheer, but few have wondered why or how to do so properly. Thankfully for seasoned professionals like me (sorry, Mom), I have gotten drunk plenty of times and contemplated many a thing, including where and when this tradition came to be. Through my research, I have uncovered the oldest drinking traditions in the world, and intend to share with you what ancestral knowledge can be found at the bottom of the bottle (in no particular order whatsoever).
For the past several years, my family and I have invited my Jewish college roommate over for Easter. My mother looks at this as an opportunity to share the wealth, so to speak, while my friend and I use it as an opportunity to rip on him for how poorly he follows his own doctrines. My entire family has found it to be an endearing practice, and a good way to keep in touch since he's moved to the other side of the state after joining the Air Force.
Marketing is an essential ingredient in every company's success, and is a job that can skyrocket a business's name if done well. There are some staple rules to it too, which generally work as a framework for what is considered "good branding." Know your customer, have a strong social media presence, creators should be storytelling, and, depending on the industry, sex sells are all staples in the game. Well, the phrase "sex sells" shouldn't translate to "make every possible logo as perverted as possible;" and even though it's been a long time since the 2012 summer olympics logo fail (the one that kind of looks like Lisa Simpson performing a sex act), it seems like businesses just refuse to learn. Luckily for us though, bad business practices and corporate logo fails make for absolutely hilarious content. Enjoy!
I am, admittedly, over prepared, in most cases. It may be because my Gameboy Color died once when I was at after-school care and I had to play Uno until my Dad picked me up, or it may be because I saw a girl swoon over a guy because he had a lighter even though he wasn't smoking. I don't know, I was pretty drunk.
My father has a problem. Well, my father has more than one problem, but there's no point in getting into all my familial drama online. My father works as a Union Carpenter in the greater NYC area. Currently, he may or may not be working for one of the big three governmental organizations in one of the five boroughs. There's incredibly tall and heavy metal studs, machines that lift you in the air so you can screw plywood and itchy, bulletproof drywall to them, sign-in sheets and badges and officials galore. The problem though? His shit keeps getting stolen.
I've recently come across a series of problems ever since I upgraded my home. For starters, I seem to have a lot more company than I used to have when my home wasn't considered "smart." Secondly, smart isn't always as smart as it claims to be. Allow me to explain.