Everyone thinks anxiety is loud.
Alright, so here’s the deal: We’ve all done something we are not proud of. Whether it’s stealing $5 from your mom’s purse or simply telling your friend that she definitely looked good in that neon orange shirt she wore on her date last weekend when she clearly did not. Either way, it’s a low point. And those low points can either make for huge regrets later down the road, or hilarious anecdotes shared over drinks. Fortunately, this story falls on the latter side of the spectrum.
Before starting this letter, I want to put a disclaimer here. This is... not an easy read for some people. Some of you may have experienced sexual trauma yourself and this story may bring back unwanted feelings and memories. If you start to have trouble, I encourage you to put the story away and reach out to a safe person to talk to. Myself included. I have my Instagram profiles up in my bio on Vocal. So you can always reach out to me if you feel like you can’t speak to anyone else.
A few months back, I was using online dating apps like Tinder and Bumble. Seemed simple enough. It felt like a game, to be honest. A strange game of filtering through shirtless gym selfies, “nice guys,” and the “My-friends-made-me-this-profile” guys. And after a few matches and conversations, perhaps there would be a phone number exchange, or maybe even a date. Now, in my case, I found the dates to go in one of three ways:
When you came you brought the clouds.